'Super Bowl' 50 Commercials: The Good, the Bad, and the WTF?
Who’s got time to sit around for hours just to see the thing everybody will be talking about Monday morning: The Super Bowl commercials? We’ve rounded up the best and the worst for you as well as a “WTF?” section with the ones that went over our heads, so are either genius or utter garbage — we can’t decide. The article will be updated throughout the game, so come back and let us know if we missed any that belong on the list, good or bad.
BEST
Budweiser, “Simply Put”
If you put Helen Mirren in any of the “Worst” commercials below, it would have made it into one of the “Best”. Helen Mirren makes literally anything better. It also confirms our suspicions that there isn’t enough money in the world to make Dame Mirren drink a watery American beer — though she could probably pound a Guinness with the best of them.
Doritos, “Dorito Dogs”
The annual Doritos “Crash the Super Bowl” contest is a continuing testament to the power of crowd sourcing. Thousands of commercials are submitted, voted upon, and the result is this polished gem about a dog’s love for chips. Imagining how many times they must have had to reshoot this to wrangle all the dogs into just the right place is enough to make your head spin.
T-Mobile, “Restricted Bling”
The only disappointing thing about this commercial is we wanted to hear Drake actually sing the lyrics the lawyers give him.
Mini, “Defy Labels”
Over on YouTube, there are links to each of the individuals in the ad. Most car commercials tout horsepower or handling or mileage, but the ones that focus on people are the most engaging.
Kia, “Walken Closet”
This almost made the “Worst” list because you can’t have a commercial talk about standing out in a crowd when the car you’re selling looks exactly like every other car on the road right now. That being said, Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken is one of the few pleasures in life that doesn’t cause cancer, obesity, or erectile dysfunction, so Kia’s basically doing a public service.
Heinz, “Meet the Ketchups”
Did you say “weiner dogs running in slow motion”? You had us at “w.“
Audi, “The Commander”
A solid commercial and also, any ad involving space and a Bowie song is probably going to make us teary-eyed for at least another couple months. The best part, of course, is imagining an actual astronaut walking up to one of the creators of the commercial and punching their lights out for suggesting that anything you could buy on a lot would equal the experience of visiting the moon.
Snickers, “Marilyn”
It’s hard to screw up the formula of Candy Bar Turns Angry Celebrity Into Normal Person… especially if the celebrity in question is Willem Dafoe in a dress, who becomes a digitally reanimated Marilyn Monroe. Bonus points for the Eugene Levy cameo — always.
Honda, "A New Truck to Love”
It’s kind of impossible to go wrong with Queen. Play “Another One Bites the Dust,” slap a Cheetos logo at the end, BOOM you got a commercial. Play “Don’t Stop Me Now,” slap an Adidas logo at the end, BOOM you got a commercial. Play “Somebody to Love” and slap on any logo for any product on Earth, BOOM YOU GOT A COMMERCIAL. Plus, singing sheep!
Avocados from Mexico, “Avos in Space”
If you’ve ever wondered what archeologists would make of the 21st century in the distant future, this one pretty much nails it. Also, it features the two universal constants: Chia Pets and Scott Baio.
Bud Light, “The Bud Light Party”
It’s ironic that the beer company is using Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen to try to bridge the Red State/Blue State divide, because nobody has started more drunken fistfights over politics than Bud Light. Kudos, however, for lifting the speech from Independence Day. When they air this in Scotland, will they substitute the Braveheart speech? Hope so.
Toyota Prius, “The Longest Chase”
There are so many little flourishes in this jam-packed car ad – the oddly colored ski masks, the Abbey Road reference, the K-Pop girls, the Tarantino-esque use of Sugarhill Gang’s “Apache (Jump On It)”, the birthday party, the casting (including three stars from The Wire season 2: Chris Bauer, Pablo Schreiber and James Ransone) — that make it memorable. A future classic.
T-Mobile, “Drop the Balls”
The voice of Steve Harvey’s mother must have been rolling around his head saying, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade,” when T-Mobile called. The phone company capitalized on his massive Miss Universe faux pas — when he crowned Miss Colombia queen instead of Miss Philippines — by having him fact check claims made in a Verizon ad. Sure, Harvey may never live down his error — but at least he can get paid for it.
WORST
AXE, “Find Your Magic”
This commercial feels like rolling around in spilled beer on the floor of a TGIFridays while being kicked repeatedly by a high school production of A Chorus Line. But then, every AXE commercial feels that way.
NFL, “Super Bowl Babies with Seal”
Children singing? Great. Appeal to hometown pride? Great. Making people think of their parents having sex every time their team makes a good play? Gre… wait, what?!
Amazon Echo, “#BaldwinBowl Party”
Alec Baldwin does 1-percenter smarm like no one else, but it works best when he’s paired with more relatable folks. And as much as we love Missy Elliot (and tolerate Jason Schwartzman), relatable they are not.
SoFi, “Loans for Great People”
Ew. Ever played “Hot or Not” on a street corner, only instead of being secretly judgmental, you were deciding the fate of their financial lives? It’s like somebody made Tinder into a commercial for business loans. Swipe left.
Shock Top, “Unfiltered Talk”
This feels like a very good T.J. Miller stand up bit that’s been given to corporate lawyers to take out all the funny jokes. Also, it’s basically the T.J. Miller part of the Deadpool trailer.
Skittles, “Portrait”
Skittles “Taste the Rainbow” ads have created a nice little niche for themselves in the commercial world. They’re weird and funny and, even when they’re not funny, hey, at least they’re weird. Stephen Tyler doesn’t feel like he’s in on the joke — even when given cartoon dad dialogue — and the whole thing falls apart like … well, like a portrait made of Skittles. Those terrible wild berry Skittles.
WTF?
Apartments.com, “Moving Day”
Brad Bellflower is an amalgamation ofJeff Goldblum’s character from Jurassic Park and the elf-like Jeff Goldblum that secretly lives in our heart. It’s in this section because you will either 100% love or 100% hate the “George and Weezy” pun that is this commercial’s punchline.
Mountain Dew, “Puppymonkeybaby”
Yeah, it’s supposed to be weird, but it also feels like it’s trying really hard to be weird, which makes it less weird. Also, the animation is terrible. It’s 2016, for crying out loud! Our phones can animate better than this. Still, if you’ve got Island of Dr. Moreau tattooed on your body somewhere, you’ll probably be into this.
Pokemon “Train On”
It starts out like your average, run-of-the-mill sports drink or car ad. It’s well-produced and gets your blood pumping. But then you get to the end and find out the ad is for… a new video game? The Pokemon franchise? A real-life sports league for battling genetically modified monsters? It feels like a really great commercial for the absolutely wrong product. But maybe that’s why it’s great? Unclear.
Death Wish Coffee “Storm’s a-Brewin'”
The product sounds more interesting than the commercial, frankly. But if you’re really into Vikings and you don’t mind the thought of swallowing seawater in your coffee, then this is right up your alley.
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Related: Super Bowl Commercials 2016: Grades for the Best and Worst Ads