'Jane the Virgin' Recap: Britney Spears Drives Rogelio Crazy

Warning: This recap of the “Chapter Twenty-Seven” episode of Jane the Virgin contains spoilers.

The moment we’ve been waiting for all season has arrived, Jane fans: Pop goddess Britney Spears dropped by for her much-hyped guest appearance this week. And even the Narrator is excited; he opens the episode by asking us, “Ready to hit this baby one more time?”

Related: ‘Jane the Virgin’ Season Premiere Recap: Jane’s Baby Got Back

So how does Britney get involved in Jane’s crazy telenovela adventures? It all starts with Petra: She’s still being pursued by her Czech ex-boyfriend Milos, who wants her to be his bride. She finally agrees to marry him for a year, strictly for tax-shelter purposes: “No sex!” And he quickly gets to work on the wedding, booking the Marbella for the ceremony — and Britney Spears to perform at the reception! (Hey, Petra: If Milos is rich enough to hire Britney for the day, you could do a lot worse.)

We first catch sight of Miss Spears when Jane wheels Mateo’s stroller into the Marbella lobby and spots Britney and her dancers checking in. She promptly freaks out — especially when Britney marches right up to her and declares, “I can tell you have rhythm. Would you like to dance?” And they do!

Of course, that all took place in Jane’s mind… but it was still fun, right? What actually happened is, Britney walked right past Jane with dancers in tow, and Jane texted Xo about it. But when Xo tells Rogelio about Jane’s sighting, a dark cloud passes over Rogelio’s face. It seems he and Britney have a simmering celebrity feud… and he’s no longer keeping quiet about it.

He and Britney were close friends once, he tells Xo; he gave her the idea for her red “Oops, I Did It Again” bodysuit, they exchanged “concealer tips,” and he was even the one who suggested she make out with Madonna at the VMAs. But then, he says, “she betrayed me.” How did Brit-Brit run afoul of the great Rogelio De La Vega?

We find out a bit more when Jane runs into Rogelio in the Marbella lobby; he explains that he’s “waiting for Britney Spears to emerge so that I can confront her.” As if summoned, Britney appears, and Rogelio stands right in her path:

She sort of recognizes Rogelio: “Ro…?” But he’s furious; he demands an apology for what happened at the 2009 Latin Pop Music Awards. She refers to it as a “Teleprompter accident,” but Rogelio can’t accept that: “It was premeditated… and you were the premeditator!” (Jaime Camil is really at his over-the-top best here.) Britney and her dancers storm off in a huff — and we still don’t know what this blood feud is all about.

That is, until Jane and Xo do some digging online and find a clip of the infamous awards-show incident. While presenting a “Hot Latin Star” award with Britney, Rogelio read a joke off the Teleprompter saying he is “neither hot, nor a star.” Jane and Xo still don’t think Britney’s at fault, but Rogelio declares virtual warfare on Brit-Brit, inciting his millions of fans to attack her online:

Since Britney currently has a restraining order against him, Jane wisely advises him to change that knife to a poop emoji. Much safer. But when an embarrassing Vine of Rogelio starts circulating — he’s getting pulled away by the cops and yelling, “You want a piece of me?” — Jane steps in to set things right. And here, the Narrator piles on the Britney puns: “The situation had become toxic… this circus couldn’t go on… it was time to get to work, bitch!” So Jane tracks down Britney, just as she’s wrapping up rehearsal:

And she humbly pleads on behalf of her dumb, vain father. Britney’s not ready to forgive, though: “Do you know how many poop emojis I’ve had to deal with today?” In fact, she says it’s Rogelio who’s the “backstabbing betrayer” in this situation, referring to an incident in Mexico City.

Rogelio admits via Skype that he once tipped off the paparazzi while shopping with Britney to boost his profile. Britney jumps on the call, and Rogelio apologizes to her “from the bottom of my broken heart.” (Ha!) And it turns out the awards-show incident was just an overzealous Teleprompter guy trying to impress Britney. So all is forgiven! And Rogelio and Britney’s friendship? To squeeze one last pun in there, it's…

Jane the Virgin airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on The CW.