Why I Didn’t See My Baby for 24 Hours After She Was Born

Anna Davies’ baby was admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) when she was born. (Photo: Anna Davies)

“Can you kiss your baby?” I heard a nurse say. My head was swimming, my body was covered in sweat, and my abdomen was aching.

“She’s too far away,” I remember mumbling. “This really hurts. Can you give me more anesthesia … or whatever?” My daughter had just been delivered via caesarean section, and my body was reacting intensely to the operation. I couldn’t focus on the birth of my baby, only the rippling waves of pain in my abdomen.

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Mercifully, the anesthesiologist upped the dosage of whatever medicine I was given, and I fell asleep on the operating table. But as soon as I woke up en route to the recovery room, all I wanted was my daughter, Lucy. I was excited to touch her, breastfeed her, bond with her.

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“She’s in the NICU,” the nurse explained, adding that her temperature upon delivery had spiked to a worrying degree. I couldn’t see my baby. All I had was a grainy photo my best friend had taken immediately after the birth. (Lucy’s father isn’t involved, and I don’t have family nearby, so one of my closest friends was by my side). I couldn’t sleep that night, wondering how my child was doing. I’d read countless books on giving birth, one of which had advised women to lick their baby to promote bonding. None of the books said anything about what to do if you hadn’t even touched your baby.

The next morning, I was still tethered to a variety of IV drips, making movement impossible. A lactation consultant came to stress the importance of pumping milk as soon as possible, which only made me feel more desperate to see my daughter. Also, I had a shared room, where I could hear the peeps of my roommate’s newborn, which made me feel worse.

Finally, a full 24 hours later, after proving I could walk unassisted, I was brought to the dimly-lit NICU.

“We were wondering where her family was,” one of the nurses said by way of greeting, as she gently pulled Lucy from her incubator. Although the comment was inadvertent, it made me feel terrible.

I cuddled all 9 pounds, 4 ounces of Lucy, feeling exhausted, confused, and unsure of where we were supposed to go from here.

Anna Davies’ baby, Lucy, stayed in the NICU for 48 hours after she was born. A new study found that NICU admission rates are rising, although the reasons are unclear. (Photo: Anna Davies)

Luckily, the nurses said, she seemed fine. One mentioned that a lot of newborns were admitted to the NICU after C-sections because the operating room tended to run hot. But Lucy needed to stay in the NICU as a precaution for a full 48 hours.

Despite the nurses’ blasé attitude, it was hard to reconcile fine with the NICU. To be clear, I was thrilled to have a healthy baby girl. But I wanted her with me. The hospital allowed parents to be with the NICU babies for as long as they wanted and facilitated holding and skin-to-skin contact, but I was recovering from major surgery. And when Lucy finally was released to me 48 hours after the birth, I felt like the two of us were so far behind. I hadn’t successfully breastfed her — although I’d tried. She’d been fed a steady diet of formula. I had no idea how to care for her. And after constant surveillance in the NICU, I was left alone with her with very little instruction and a surly nurse.

I soon discovered that my hospital experience wasn’t uncommon. Of my five friends who also gave birth in May, three had NICU babies, despite delivering at term. And they’re indicative of a larger trend: A recent study conducted by the Dartmouth Institute for Health Policy and Clinical Practice found that NICU admissions have increased by 23% between 2007 and 2012. Additionally, by 2012 nearly half of the admissions were for normal birth-weight infants or infants born at 37 weeks or later.

The study didn’t examine the reason for admission, length of stay, or newborn outcome. “Whether these rising rates are driven by patient need, parental preference, physician practice patterns, or some combination is unclear,” co-author Wade Harrison, MPH, tells Yahoo Parenting. “I hope parents don’t take away the message that they should be skeptical or push back an NICU admission for their child. Neonatal intensive care is an incredible intervention for premature and sick newborns, and much of the huge drop in infant mortality over the past 40 to 50 years is due to the NICU. What is important is that each patient receives the appropriate level of care for their needs — no more, no less.”

As a new mom, I agree. I’m glad Lucy’s doctors took the better-safe-than-sorry approach. But I wish the hospital had offered more resources, since those 48 hours had ripple effects for the months that followed, and had offered private rooms for mothers with complicated deliveries. Twenty minutes with a lactation consultant wasn’t enough to figure out breastfeeding (especially when Lucy had been fed formula in the NICU).

Doctors should also inform women about the possibility of an NICU stay, and hospitals should do more than point out the area on maternity tours. If mine had provided more information, it might have decreased my anxiety each time I approached the intimating security doors to the NICU.

Now, Lucy is a healthy, happy 15-week-old baby. I am so happy she received world-class care, and I’m thrilled to have her — I just wish I had met her on her birthday.

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