Why Melanie Fiona Encourages Black Women To Learn Themselves Before Dating

When you think of Black love, what comes to mind? On the outside looking in, it might look like two melanated individuals expressing their undying love for one another. It might even take the form of a power couple with both parties excelling in their respective careers. But, when it comes to Melanie Fiona and her husband Jared Cotter, it’s all that and much more.

Melanie Fiona may be one of the most respected voices of our generation, having amassed a lengthy enclave of accolades and honors, but her love for her husband shines just as bright. As Melanie and her husband appear in the final season of OWN’s Black Love, viewers and fans get to see the hard work that went into sustaining such a beautiful love story.

The Canadian superstar stopped by Blavity News to discuss the importance of setting boundaries in relationships, why Black women should feel more comfortable setting those boundaries with their romantic partners and why the Black Love docuseries is so essential for the culture.

The "Black Love" docuseries

With the final season of Black Love underway, it’s of utmost importance that we reflect on just how pivotal it’s been for Black culture. When asked about what the docuseries means to her, Melanie is appreciative of its showcasing of diverse stories of love and relationships in the Black community.

“The series Black Love is such a wonderful representation and space for Black love to shine in the many lights that it does. I love what it’s done for the culture and showing our people in so many beautiful ways as far as different stories that I don’t think we’ve seen depicted in media often enough — whether it be television shows or media or whatever it is,” Melanie told Blavity News.

Additionally, Melanie is excited to share her personal love story on the platform.

“We’re just very happy and proud to be a part of the legacy and share our story. Many people who’ve been with me personally on my journey as an artist and as a woman kind of just see what it is or know what it’s been through songs and storytelling. So, it’s been awesome to be able to share our story because it’s really a great story,” she said.

Love at first sight

While they’d been together for almost a decade, Melanie knew from then that Jared was the one for her. But, according to the Grammy Award-winning songstress, her beau’s willingness to continue growing seals the deal for her.

“From the moment I met Jared, I knew that he was for me. This person was someone who came along and made me feel very safe and made me feel like I could easily be myself in the beginning, and that’s how we built our relationship,” she said. “I think the one thing that continuously shows up for me is when I see Jared rise to the occasion of growth.”

The importance of self-work

Before Melanie met her now-husband, she took the time to learn herself better, which resulted in a renewed sense of clarity around her life’s desires. This journey, fraught with self-work, ultimately aided her personally and romantically in the long run.

“I’m a deep lover, and when I’m with someone, I love them with everything that I have. At that time, I had given myself permission to do something which I had never done before, which was to be single and date casually because I was a relationship girl. I needed to get to know myself, and I needed to push myself into a space of understanding what was best for me without the distraction of needing to pour into someone else,” Melanie told Blavity News.

Pour into yourself first

Melanie’s advice for other Black women looking to take time to themselves before dating is to pour into themselves first.

“I think that doing hard work on yourself by yourself is where the magic is, and I feel like as Black women, we just have a hard time enough existing in this world. There are so many things working against us that we have to make sure that we are pouring into ourselves first to be whole,” she said. “I think Black women, in general, are nurturers by nature. We just want to help, and sometimes you find yourself in situations or relationships where you meet someone that sees that and takes advantage of that, and then you’re left  feeling depleted.”

You can catch new episodes of the final season of Black Love on OWN on Saturdays at 10 p.m. ET.