Trump isn't sleeping during his trial – he's just STRONGLY complying with the gag order
Once again, the liberal media is claiming PRESIDENT Donald Trump is falling asleep during his UNJUST criminal trial in Manhattan.
These so-called journalists, just because they were “in the courtroom” and “looking directly at Trump,” thought it was fair to report again Tuesday that he “appears to have fallen asleep while listening to testimony – at times appearing to stir and then falling back to sleep.”
WRONG!
Trump is far too STRONG and MANLY to nod off in court and all prior reports about such behavior are preposterous. What those lamestream losers witnessed Tuesday was America’s greatest president closing his eyes and obeying the court’s UNCONSTITUTIONAL gag order really, really hard.
Trump isn't sleeping at his trial – he's multitasking!
Earlier in the day, the judge ruled that Trump had previously violated the gag order nine times and fined him $9,000 – saying he’d consider jailing him if it kept happening. So Trump responded with the ultimate alpha move: silencing himself so effectively his eyes closed to give the appearance of occasionally passing out.
MAGA!
But that’s not all these so-called courtroom naps are about. Because Trump is the ultimate multitasker, the moments when fake news correspondents think he’s dozing off are ACTUALLY the moments when he’s most deep in thought, planning out highly specific policy positions that he will present to the public … in two weeks.
Trump is clearly using the trial to stake out policy positions
As any MAGA loyalist knows, Trump always presents detailed, fact-filled policy proposals two weeks after he mentions them. That’s because he is a careful thinker who loves America.
If you want to know his health care plan to replace Obamacare, you will have to wait two weeks from whenever you ask it. Same with his infrastructure plan.
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In a transcript of a new interview Trump did with Time magazine, the interviewer asks: “Last time we spoke, you said you had an announcement coming over the next two weeks regarding your policy on the abortion pill mifepristone. You haven't made an announcement yet. Would you like to do so now?”
And Trump boldly and sensibly responds: “No, I haven't. I'll be doing it over the next week or two.”
Sorry, libs, but THAT is the kind of wise and secretive thinking Trump is engaging in during his alleged courtroom sleepy time. And you’ll learn all about it in two freakin’ weeks.
Trump is also deep in thought about how best to complain outside the courtroom
And if that’s not enough to make you admire Trump’s vast intellect, his mind, during those moments when his eyes are closed and his head is nodding and he’s definitely not sleeping, is laser-focused on how to spend the free time he has outside the trial.
As you know, Trump and those of us who love him are FURIOUS that the trial is keeping him away from the campaign trail. It’s a clear case of ELECTION INTERFERENCE, and it’s forcing Trump to spend large amounts of time during the trial figuring out when he is going to complain about not being able to campaign.
Trump is so mad about not being able to campaign that he's not campaigning
For example, there was no trial over the weekend or on Monday, and Trump did zero campaign events on those days. He reportedly played a lot of golf, which, again, is a total alpha move.
Where is MAGA? Why aren't the MAGA faithful protesting Trump's trial/pity party?
But before heading into the chilly courtroom Tuesday morning, Trump said: “I'm going to go into the icebox now and sit for about eight hours or nine hours. I'd much rather be in Georgia. I'd much rather be in Florida. I'd much rather be in states that are in play, states that I’d like to be able to campaign in.”
Do you know how much mental energy it takes to not do campaign events on free days and then complain about not being able to campaign on days when you’re a defendant in a criminal trial? That shows GREAT STAMINA!
Don't call these 'Trump naps' – that's just him doing his best work
And I’m sure that when those disreputable reporters saw what they thought was Trump falling asleep in the courtroom Tuesday, he was just carefully plotting the next time he would rail against the unfairness of being held accountable before going home and sending out some properly mean social media posts.
Open your eyes, sheeple! And understand the real reason Trump’s eyes are closed.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Trump fined for gag order violation. Now he's sleeping in court. Weak!
