She was a mom and daughter. Now this Cocoa grandma is a fierce advocate for roadway safety
Conner Kelso has seen more tragedy in his young life than a child should have to face.
At just 9, he's lost his mom, Amber Kelso, and his great-grandmother, Mary Otto-Mennicke, both of whom died in traffic-related crashes.
He doesn't want to forget them.
So throughout the year, be it a birthday, holiday or a change of season, he and his grandmother, Miriam Moore of Cocoa, head with artificial flowers to the spots where their loved ones died. There, they tend to small roadside tributes to the two much-missed women.
Mary Otto-Mennicke, 79, was walking her dog when she was struck and killed by a truck on Dixon Boulevard near U.S. 1 on June 15, 2020. Just seven months later, on Jan. 18, 2021, Moore's daughter, Conner's mom, Amber Kelso, was killed in a motorcycle crash on State Road 520. She was 27.
More: 'She walked that road every day': Accident claims life of 79-year-old Cocoa woman
They were among the 411 people killed in crashes on Brevard County roads between 2018 and 2022. Another 1,927 people were seriously injured, according to the Space Coast Transportation Planning Organization, SCTPO.
Roadside memorials, governed by location and which come with rules according to the agency overseeing them, can be a comfort to the grieving. They can't be too ostentatious, or anything that would distract drivers.
But Moore and those who join her in pushing for roadway safety hope they're also a stark reminder to drivers: Stay alert. Drive carefully. Save lives.
"Neither of us got to say goodbye to them," said Moore, who officially adopted Conner in August.
"And he was just 6 at the time, and he still grieves. He wants to remember his mother ... he asks questions about the memories he has of her. We pray together every night, and sometimes, he'll ask God to say hi to them, and to tell them that we love them. He knows that we can't go visit them, but he misses them. So this is something we can do."
On a recent weekday, near sundown, Conner helped fluff up the small display that he and Moore had put out in honor of Otto-Mennicke's birthday.
"I think it makes my great-grandmother and my mother happy," he said, a shy smile growing as he squeezed a couple of small toys in one hand.
Moore assured him: It will.
A visible sign to 'Stay Alert'
Most drivers and passengers likely have seen the round aluminum signs along Florida roadways, stating "Drive Safely, In Memory," along with a name.
They're part of the Florida Department of Transportation's Memorial Marker Program, honoring those who have died in vehicle-related crashes on the state highway system and placed within the state road right of way.
Moore was involved with the passing of the ordinance that allows memorials within the city of Cocoa. In June 2021, city and county officials were present at the site of her mother's death for the placement of a sign bearing the words “Stay Alert, In loving memory, Mary Kathryn Otto-Mennicke.”
Cocoa City Councilwoman Lorraine Koss, present for the placement of that sign, knows the literal impact of traffic accidents too well.
In April 2021, her car was T-boned as she was crossing U.S. 1, by someone who sped through a traffic light. Koss suffered a broken sternum and back, and to this day, she said, thinks of her body as "before the accident and after the accident."
In May of that same year, Cocoa was the first municipality in Brevard County to sign on for a countywide initiative, spearheaded by the SCTPO called “Vision Zero.” The goal: Eliminate wrecks that involve serious injury or death within the city limits. As of this year, all municipalities in Brevard are part of the effort.
Florida rates high in "dangerous by design" roadways, Koss said, as does the Space Coast.
"When I came into office in 2019, I had no idea that traffic control, traffic calming, was going to be one of my biggest issues," she said.
"But it was within the first month or two that we had a fatality on Michigan Avenue. An 80-year-old man was mowing his lawn and stepped into the street, and was killed. It was such a tragedy, for him and the young woman ... and I started to look into traffic casualities. And Florida really is dangerous by design, because most of Florida was built up during the space race, and at that point, we were very car-centric. Most of our roads are designed for cars, not pedestrians."
That's a problem in Cocoa, where many people in lower income brackets are walking or riding their bicycles, she said — not by choice, or for pleasure, but out of necessity.
Moore's mother was walking for pleasure, Koss said, walking her dog.
"You do your best to stay healthy .. and to think you can be cut down by something as awful as a traffic accident," she said.
"So I think there are things we can do, and I think the marker is just one of those. It's a visual reminder that someone died here."
Memories that matter
Back in 2021, Moore wrote an online story about her family's journey through grief.
"Both my mother’s and daughter’s crashes were preventable," wrote the mom, daughter and grandmother turned safety advocate.
"Drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians all need to understand the roadways are no different than any other part of a community — they are accessible to everyone, equally. How you choose to access those spaces should determine the level of responsibility you have to occupy them and the degree of respect you must have for others who are sharing those spaces."
Her message has grown even stronger since then.
On Nov. 19, Moore was among those gathered at Riverfront Park in Cocoa for the local observance of the World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims (WDR). commemorated yearly on the third Sunday of November.
The global event remembers the millions who've been killed or injured on the world's roads, and, officials say, "acknowledges the suffering of all affected victims, families and communities — millions added each year to countless millions already suffering: a truly tremendous cumulative toll."
Moore spoke of taking "all of our collective pain and sadness and anger and memories, and reaching deep down where it really hurts," and talking to others about how to "drive to stay alive."
"Our lives are forever changed and our futures defined by the before and after of the day, that time stood still. But we are still here," she said. "And we can save lives ... we can make our community safer. We can change the future for another family, so they do not have to live without their person."
She takes every opportunity to remind people: Be aware of your surroundings. Be more careful. Whether you're a driver, a pedestrian, a cyclist, however you're traveling, you have an obligation to others using those roadways, too.
"I want these signs to be a memory jogger, something someone might see and think: 'I need to stay safe. I need to be alert,' " Moore said.
"And for Conner, it helps him keep those memories he has alive."
Britt Kennerly is education/breaking news editor at FLORIDA TODAY. Contact Kennerly at 321-917-4744 or [email protected]. Twitter: @bybrittkennerly Facebook: /bybrittkennerly.
This article originally appeared on Florida Today: 'Neither of us got to say goodbye': Roadside memorials speak to safety
