Opinion: I guess Trump won because Democrats forgot to cheat. Oops!
You want to know how badly the Democrats screwed up the presidential election? So badly they forgot to cheat.
I had it on very good authority – from President-elect Donald Trump himself, over and over again – that Vice President Kamala Harris and everyone in the Democratic Party were rigging the election and cheating like the cheating cheaters they are.
At a late October rally in Pennsylvania he said: “They’ve already started cheating in Lancaster. They’ve cheated.”
And at a recent Arizona rally he said: “The only thing that can stop us is the cheating. It’s the only thing that can stop us.”
Did Democrats forget to cheat? Because Trump wound up winning, guys.
Welp, the cheating we liberal types were supposed to be doing apparently didn’t happen, because nothing stopped Trump from decisively beating Harris in Tuesday night’s election.
So my question in the wake of this dispiriting defeat is: What the heck, guys? Who dropped the damn ball on the cheating and the skullduggery and whatnot?
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There's no way Trump spun a web of election denying lies, right?
Trump has been complaining about Democratic cheating since he lost the 2020 presidential election to Joe Biden. A bunch of his buddies attacked the U.S. Capitol and are now serving prison time because he told them that election was “rigged” and “stolen.”
Trump didn’t meet Biden at the White House as part of the ceremonial transfer of power.
And there were dozens of lawsuits filed alleging voter fraud in states across the country, and just because those cases were all tossed due to zero evidence of voter fraud, I can’t believe the whole “rigged election” thing was just one big lie.
Right? I mean, what kind of person would spin an elaborate web of lies that gets people locked up, persuades supporters to donate millions to pay legal fees for frivolous cases and leads attorneys to get disbarred?
No, there had to be some kind of basis for all the election denialism.
C'mon, Democrats, we're supposed to cheat using immigrants!
Why just a couple months ago Trump told Newsmax that Democrats were taking undocumented immigrants and registering them to vote, which is not a thing that can or does happen.
“They're working overtime to sign people and register people – many of the same people that you just see come across the border,” Trump said. "Which is probably their original thought, because why else would they want to destroy our country?”
What happened to all the undocumented immigrants we worked so hard to register to vote? Did somebody forget to give them the date? What a mess!
Did we forget to beat Trump using overseas ballots? Yeesh!
Trump also claimed in a social media post that fiendish liberals like myself were getting noncitizens overseas to vote: “The Democrats are talking about how they’re working so hard to get millions of votes from Americans living overseas. Actually, they are getting ready to CHEAT!”
Guys, why were we not ready to cheat?!?
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Shame on Democrats for making Trump look bad by not cheating
This is a complete, full-on abdication of our alleged dishonest electoral shenanigans. I, for one, feel very bad that we have made President-elect Trump look like a lying opportunist whose actions grifted millions from his supporters and landed people behind bars.
I can promise moving forward that we Democrats will fix our broken system of imaginary cheating. Otherwise, it might appear Republicans like Trump only say cheating occurred when they lose, and say everything went smoothly when they win.
That, of course, would be absurd.
Shame on us Democrats.
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Opinion: Why did Trump win? Democrats, we were supposed to cheat!