Nobel laureates vs. RFK Jr.? Have those nerds even tasted roadkill bear meat? | Opinion

So I see a bunch of so-called Nobel laureates have come out with a fancy-schmancy letter calling on U.S. senators to block Robert F. Kennedy Jr. from becoming head of the Department of Health and Human Services.

This is an outrageous overstep by people who read books and is a clear attempt to make President-elect Donald Trump look bad for wanting to put a measles enthusiast in charge of America’s health.

I’m guessing none of the 77 Nobel Prize winners has experienced the brain-boosting power of raw milk or endeavored to sample roadkill bear meat, making them far less qualified to comment on public health than Kennedy.

If only these renowned experts in medicine, chemistry, economics and physics would do their own research, they’d understand that this man whose brain is partially worm-eaten brings a commonsense dose of non-knowledge to his belief that vaccine scientists should be in prison.

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In their letter, the laureates whined:

“In addition to his lack of credentials or relevant experience in medicine, science, public health, or administration, Mr. Kennedy has been an opponent of many health-protecting and life-saving vaccines, such as those that prevent measles and polio; a critic of the well-established positive effects of fluoridation of drinking water; a promoter of conspiracy theories about remarkably successful treatments for AIDS and other diseases; and a belligerent critic of respected agencies.”

Sure, when you put it all together, it sounds kind of bad. But I, for one, am sick and tired of listening to a bunch of educated elites string together a series of incontrovertible facts to make a point that’s clearly in the public’s interest.

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Or as Katie Miller, a spokesperson for Trump's transition team, put it: “Americans are sick and tired of the elites telling them what to do and how to do it. Our healthcare system in this country is broken. Mr. Kennedy will enact President Trump's agenda to restore the integrity of our health care and Make America Healthy Again.”

Yeah. Screw reality. The last thing I need is some “doctor” telling me to take “medicine” for a “sickness” so I don’t “die” or unwittingly “contaminate and kill” other “people.”

This is America, dammit, and if I want to cure my respiratory infection by sticking potato peels in my left ear and drinking a cocktail of horse dewormer and apple-cider vinegar, no nerd is going to make me do otherwise.

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From killer Wi-Fi to evil seed oils, Kennedy is really not on to something

Kennedy has embraced a number of perfectly sensible medical theories, none burdened by silly Big Science baggage like “evidence” or “data.”

For example, he once said: “Wi-Fi radiation opens up your blood-brain barrier and so all these toxins that are in your body can now go into your brain.”

Kennedy also believes seed oils are poisoning Americans and are “one of the driving causes of the obesity epidemic.”

But Christopher Gardner, a Stanford University professor of medicine, recently told The New York Times that decades of research have shown seed oil consumption is associated with better health.

Who do you trust, an educated expert or RFK Jr.?

So who am I going to trust? The man with a doctorate in nutrition science who has spent the past 20 years "focused on investigating the potential health benefits of various dietary components or food patterns using randomized controlled trials”?

Or the 70-year-old brain-wormed falconer who recently said: “I’ve been picking up roadkill my whole life. I have a freezer full of it.”

The choice is clear. I’m going with the guy who says the things I want to believe because we both read about them on the internet. Duh.

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RFK Jr. is all-in on raw milk – and so is E. coli

Kennedy claims he only drinks raw milk and has said that the Food and Drug Administration’s “aggressive suppression” of raw milk is a “war on public health.”

On the flip side, John Lucey, a professor of food science and the director of the Center for Dairy Research at University of Wisconsin-Madison, told The Washington Post that drinking raw milk is “a really stupid, bad idea,” adding: “It’s almost like a doctor shouldn’t wash their hands before they go into an operating room.”

Sorry, buddy, but no academic-elite dairy expert is going to tell me whether or not I should unnecessarily expose myself to E. coli, listeria or bird flu. This is Trump’s America now, and we need a hero like Kennedy in charge of our health before the libs trample our God-given right to die from explosive diarrhea.

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Don't let those Nobel laureates boss your around, senators

In their letter, the Nobel prize winners wrote: “In view of his record, placing Mr. Kennedy in charge of DHHS would put the public's health in jeopardy.”

WRONG! Those no-good Nobel laureates need to take their expertise and wealth of knowledge and get on board the RFK Jr. all-engine-no-rails train. He can probably teach them a thing or two about the health benefits of polio.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Nobel winners slam RFK Jr. They need a glass of raw milk | Opinion