Can you be in love with more than one person?

It's pretty common to see Hollywood make movies in which one individual has feelings for, or even loves, more than one person. The plot revolves around them facing the difficult decision of choosing who is right for them.

"Twilight" is a great example, where Bella had to choose between Edward and Jacob. Or in "The Notebook," when Allie had to choose between getting married to Lon or going back to her first love, Noah. Or you may be familiar with “Never Have I Ever," where Devi has to choose between Paxton and Ben, two boys that bring out very different sides of her. Or"Bridget Jones," a hopeless romantic struggling to choose between Mark and Daniel.

Some claim that being in love with more than one person only happens on screen and that because most of us choose one person over the other, it means we love someone "more" and therefore we can’t “truly” love more than one person.

Others understand these movies and TV shows to speak to the normalcy of loving more than one person at a time. If we can love our parents, children and friends simultaneously, why couldn't we romantically love more than one person? Our hearts and minds are capable!

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Does this sound familiar?  You’re not alone. It all boils down to how we define love; everyone will have their own experiences and definitions. Can we have strong feelings for more than one person? Yes. Can we envision our lives with more than one person (even if wildly different)? Yes. Can we feel sexual desire toward more than one person? Yes. Can we care about and want to support more than one person? Yes.

But, if we think about love as a verb, a conscious choice to honor and respect someone, to choose them every day, and to fight for them then, although that is possible with multiple people, it is often more complex and more demanding. Unless we decide to be polyamorous, we are in a position where we have to determine who we will continue to love actively. The question is often not: Can we love more than one person, but if we do, how do we proceed and with whom?

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If you are currently trying to make a decision, consider the following:

• What aspects of yourself come out with each person?

• Do you want to commit to one or both of them?

• Who are you compatible with?

• Are you truly in love or are you infatuated?

It's essential to be curious and honest with yourself and everyone involved. Something that helps is defining how you feel about each person. Some terms get thrown around a lot and need to be clarified, making it less complicated for you to understand your experience.

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Infatuation (which some people define as being “in love”): Intense but a short-lived sense of attraction, passion, excitement and admiration. During this phase, we often think of the other person as perfect, turning a blind eye to flaws, incompatibilities or red flags. We often idealize this person and have unrealistic expectations of what they are like.

Love: Love is an experience built with time, intimacy and a sense of knowing who the other person is. Love is a verb, an action, and a choice of how we show up and honor our dynamic with the other person. Love is sensible, stable and respectful.

How would you define each of these terms?  Which do you feel?

That's when you'll know how you can love.

Are you looking for sex or intimacy?  There's a difference.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Relationship advice: Can you be in love with more than one person?