Jon Stewart’s Heated Monologue Over DOGE, Prescription Drugs Ends in Bloody Accident
As Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) ramps up for another round of half-baked government budget cuts, Jon Stewart took to the Daily Show desk to deliver a passionate — and bloody — tirade against the billionaire and the Trump administration.
Stewart criticized Musk’s and President Donald Trump’s systemic firing of tens of thousands of federal workers across nearly a dozen agencies with little regard for their livelihoods, service, or value to the public.
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“How about we just take the $3 billion in subsidies we give to oil and gas companies that already turned billions in profits?” the late-night host offered in a plea for reason. “How about we just close down the carried interest loophole on hedge funds that’s worth $1.3 billion a year? Oh, how about we stop the $2 trillion we’ve given to defense contractors to build a fighter jet that blows, when everybody knows the next war is going to be fought with drones and blockchain, whatever that is, holy shit!”
Former President Joe Biden’s administration was not spared from the flak, and was mocked for their celebrations over lowering prices of 10 prescription drugs. “Ten is all of them, right? Because it would be embarrassing if it was a small drop in the bucket, and that the American people didn’t expect that we should negotiate for all their fucking drugs because we’ve already paid for it with our subsidies,” Stewart declared before smashing a “World’s Most Dad” mug into pieces as he shouted “Come on!”
“I’ll be going to the hospital soon,” he laughed, hiding his hand underneath the desk. The Daily Show host continued to break down Musk’s misguided attack on government spending. “We live in the upside down,” said Stewart, while noting the blame didn’t fall on corporations alone. “They are profit-seeking psychopaths that need the lowest wages and the cheapest raw materials to drive their highest profits,” he said. “But why do we, the taxpayers, subsidize their psychopathy? That’s the waste, fraud, and abuse in our system.”
Stewart quipped, “That’s what we should be going after, not the fantastical, over generous terrorist condom allowances.” Before wrapping the night’s monologue, he quickly checked his hand, revealing his fingers covered in a bloody cloth. “It’s fine!” he assured the audience.
Tensions have escalated between federal workers and the Trump administration as Musk has led his purge of the federal government under the guise of rooting out fraud and financial waste, laying off government employees everywhere from Veterans Affairs to the Forest Service to the Federal Aviation Administration.
Musk and his team have closed in on the Department of Housing and Urban Development, where massive cuts are expected. The Washington Post reported that current and former employees, contractors, and housing experts say these changes will likely disrupt the housing market, making homes less affordable for Americans and upending mortgage transactions.
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