The cost of a perfect Christmas? Stress, debt and guilt. | Opinion

The holiday season is a time of joy, giving and family togetherness. But for parents like me, it’s also marked by stress, financial strain and an overwhelming sense of guilt.

The pressure to deliver a magical holiday experience fills me with anxiety. I want my children to be happy, but at what cost?

According to a survey by Bankrate, more than 50% of holiday shoppers expect to feel financially burdened, with "parents of younger kids (feeling) a bigger financial pinch."

Parental guilt has become a Christmas tradition

The cultural expectation to give children the "perfect" Christmas can be overwhelming. The guilt is often compounded by social media, where picture-perfect holiday celebrations dominate our feeds.

From watching reviews of the latest gadgets to seeing the season's trending toys, and swiping through lavish holiday home décor, I can easily become overwhelmed.

I know I can't give my children the world, but I want to.

My family has had to be a little more cost-conscious because of inflation. Although the inflation rate, now 2.7%, has slowed in the past couple of years, the high cost of necessities such as food and housing is still a significant concern for middle-class families like mine.

The Census Bureau reports that 37% of Americans are struggling to pay routine bills. Add in the cost of Christmas gifts and other holiday expenses and it can feel overwhelming to keep up with the Clauses.

The National Retail Federation predicts an increase in holiday spending this year, but the rise is more indicative of the higher cost of goods than anything else. We aren’t buying more; it’s just what we are buying costs more than before.

Instead of asking what our children want for the holidays, we’re asking ourselves: Can I afford this? Will they feel let down if I don’t get the items on their wish lists?

The challenge to provide an abundant holiday for children is even greater for low-income families. Parents often face a heartbreaking choice between meeting their family’s basic needs and participating in the holiday traditions that bring their children joy.

What makes the holidays even harder is the guilt that comes with saying “no.” No to the latest must-have toy. No to extravagant outings. And sometimes, no to traditions that once defined the season.

I want my children to have fond memories and enjoy the holiday season, but I don’t want to pay for it for years to come.

Debt from holiday shopping piles up

After the holidays are over, financial recovery ensues. With all the credit card debt, buy-now-pay-later options and personal loans maxed out, many families start the new year on a financial tightrope.

About half of consumers are still paying off last year's holiday gifts, with a plan to spend nearly $1,000 again this holiday season.

For parents like me, the consequences extend beyond financial hardship. The stress of mounting bills leads to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, which affect my mental health and relationships with my children.

Parenting is hard enough, and the holidays amplify emotions. We need to reimagine what the holidaysmean ? not just for our children, but for ourselves. A few ways I’ve decided to create financial boundaries for the holidays are to set a budget for gifts, embrace minimalism, create experiences that will last and start new traditions involving everyone in my family.

We’ve got to remember that things will come and go, but the love and laughter of our families are worth far more than this season’s trending gadget.

For many parents, the holidays are a time of reflection. It forces us to confront the values we want to passon to our children and the legacy we hope to leave. It’s not about the cost of the gifts; it’s about the memories we build and the love we share.

This year, let’s remind ourselves that the magic of the holidays doesn’t come from our wallets ? it comes from our hearts.

Marla Bautista is a military fellow columnist at USA TODAY Opinion.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Christmas debt forces parents into heartbreaking choices | Opinion