11 Things to Say to Persuade Someone to Vote

Credit - Photo-illustration by TIME

You may not be a political pundit or consider yourself any type of expert on the upcoming presidential election. But you still have influence—at least with the people you’re closest to.

“The conversations we have with family and friends and colleagues and acquaintances could matter more than almost anything else that happens in a campaign,” says Jon Favreau, founder of the liberal media company Crooked Media, as well as the community organization Vote Save America, and host of the podcast Pod Save America. “More than the television ads, and more than what the candidate says.”

As trust in major institutions declines, people are increasingly persuaded by those in their social network, he adds. When you have a basic level of trust established with someone, they're more likely to listen to you than they are to talking heads on the TV or strangers knocking on their door. That means you have the opportunity to convince them to vote if they’re not already planning to show up at the polls in November. We asked experts exactly how to word what you say.

“Hey, are you registered to vote?”

Do your best to stay nonpartisan and confident in these conversations, advises Chyann Sapp, campaign director of Nonprofit Vote's National Voter Registration Day. When you're not taking sides, “you’re able to focus on why voting matters and why voter registration matters.” If someone’s not sure if they’re registered to vote, point them to online resources, like their state’s voter registration website, that allow them to quickly check. You can even help them register on the spot, Sapp notes, and encourage them to make voting a habit. She suggests framing it like this: “Just like you go to the doctor annually to keep yourself healthy, you should be voting to keep our democracy healthy.”

“What matters to you?”

Persuading someone to vote hinges on truly listening to them—and showing that you understand what they’re saying. “It requires giving people the benefit of the doubt and a little grace,” says Favreau, who also co-wrote Democracy or Else: How to Save America in 10 Easy Steps. “Getting someone to vote isn’t about proving whether you’re right or wrong. It's about trying to bring someone to your point of view, and to do that, you have to find some commonality with that person.”

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One of the easiest ways in, he says, is to ask them what issues they care about, even if they’re not a “political junkie or policy nerd.” What do they hope to see happen in the country over the next four to eight years? What are they worried might play out? “Once they tell you what they really care about, you can talk about the very stark difference between the two parties on that issue,” Favreau adds.

“Thousands of local elections have been determined by a single vote.”

Maybe your friend or family member is adamant that their vote doesn't matter. They're one among millions; who will notice if they skip the polls? In those cases, draw attention to local elections—which don't get nearly as much attention as presidential elections but can have even more of an impact on daily life, says Andrea Hailey, CEO of the nonpartisan nonprofit Vote.org.

These down-ballot races, including for county judges and officials, can be super tight. And they really matter: “Major policies are getting decided, and there's a real difference in what parties think and want to see happen,” she says. “I think people get scared because they think of these conversations as inherently political, but in truth, they're inherently community-based. We're really talking about, ‘How are we going to run as a local community?’”

At stake: local public schools’ budgets and curriculum; whether potholes in the roads will be repaired; and who’s the sheriff, which will affect arrest priorities. Remind the person you’re trying to persuade to vote that by voting early or showing up to the polls on Nov. 5—and on each election day thereafter—they get to shape the way the community they live in operates every day.

“Vote with your gut.”

People often cite a lack of knowledge as their reason for not voting. “You’re going to run into this obstacle very frequently,” says Brian Duff, an associate professor of political science at the University of New England. “People who say, ‘I don’t know enough about X—the policies, the parties, the candidates.’” Some people treat voting as a research project, he adds, and think that if they haven't studied up enough, they should opt out on election day. He tells them nobody knows enough. “People are not good at being informed voters,” he says. “People don't have consistent ideas about the issues. People don't know what the candidates will actually do.” If you’re trying to convince someone to vote, focus on reassuring them that they’re up to the task—and that they ought to vote with their gut. After all, “that's what almost everyone is doing,” Duff says.

“Don’t let somebody else make the decision for you.”

What if your friend’s cynicism is the reason they won’t vote? Work on reframing their perspective by reminding them that when they abstain, they're handing their rights and freedoms over to those who do vote. How is that superior to “proving a point” by abstaining? “Decisions that are going to affect your life, your family’s life, and the direction of the country are going to get made either way, whether you participate or not,” Favreau says. “You can either decide that it's OK for you to have those decisions made by complete strangers, or you can influence those decisions yourself.”

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Deep trust—or even mild faith—in politicians isn’t a prerequisite for showing up at the polls, Hailey says. Politicians don't stop getting elected, and policies implemented, because you left your ballot blank. It simply means you have no voice. “Do you care about reproductive rights? Somebody else just made that decision for you. Do you care about what time your trash is getting picked up? Somebody else just made that decision for you,” she says. “Do you care about what they teach in the local schools? Somebody else just made that decision, because you didn’t show up.”

“I was listening to this politician, and they just sound different. The mood and the supporters feel different. You should give it a try, because I was skeptical myself, and now I'm feeling pretty great.”

Organizing in politics is about building a sense of community and joy, Favreau says. He’s been heartened recently to watch a sense of heightened excitement spread among voters—and notes that it can be helpful to describe that buzzing energy to others. “To the extent that you can make your case feel as inviting and joyful and inspiring as possible, that's just always going to get people to show up,” he says. That’s why so many voter registration events are paired with ice cream or live music. “You’re dealing with human beings, and humans want to do what's right, but they also want to have fun and connect with other people who are like them.”

“We’re taking control of our health, and we need to take control of our health as citizens.”

Targeting someone’s “group membership” can be an effective way to persuade them to vote, Duff says. Unions have long done a great job encouraging members to show up to the polls, for example, and Black churches run “Souls to the Polls” events. Duff has researched what it takes to get young women, in particular, to turn out to vote. While few belong to a union or go to church regularly, many consistently attend fitness classes. In his ongoing study, fitness instructors brought up voting throughout classes, saying things like: “We’re taking control of our health, and we need to take control of our health as citizens.” “They don't push either candidate,” he says. “They just bring it up and have some resources available, like voting registration cards.” The efforts tend to pay off, Duff says: During the 2016 election cycle, voting turnout among attendees increased “significantly.”

“If you care about me, it's important you go out and vote, because who leads is going to determine whether I can do X, Y, or Z.”

Years ago, a platform called The Love Vote served as a voice for the millions of people who can’t vote in the U.S., because they’re teens, not citizens, or disenfranchised. Those under 18, for example, would tell their parents what's important to them and why—and their mom or dad would pledge to vote on their behalf. “I love the way that works,” Hailey says. “It got all these people to register to vote.” If you’re unable to make your voice heard this year, you can still help shape the election by talking to your friends and family about how their voting decisions will affect your daily life, she adds.

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“Let’s have a party and make this fun and figure out what's on our ballot.”

There are all sorts of ways to make election season not only bearable, but fun. If your friends want to spend some time reviewing their election-season choices, invite them over for takeout, and figure it out together. Vote.org offers a tool that allows people to enter their zip code and see exactly who’s running in each different race, from state senators and representatives to the attorney general and treasurer. Then you can research where each person stands on the issues you care about, and email yourself a handy sheet of who you want to vote for.

It can also be helpful to make plans to go to the polls together, followed by breakfast at your favorite diner or a stop at the coffeeshop down the street. Some people are even prepping special voting outfits; if you hit the thrift shop together and pick out what you'd like to wear, election day will become a can't-miss occasion for those who might otherwise be apathetic. “Once you have your house in order, gathering everyone else becomes really important,” Hailey says. “Collectively, you can build the future you want to see.”

“If you start rethinking some of the positions you've taken, I'm here to talk it through. We don't have to argue.”

Not every conversation about politics will be productive. (Who would have thought?) Some might even veer off the rails. Before that happens, let your conversation partner know you’d like to keep the line of communication open. Emphasize that you don’t have to yell, Favreau adds, and that you’re not expecting them to come over to your side of the party line. And remember: It’s fine if you strike out. “Don’t worry at all about failure to connect or failure to persuade, because it happens to even the best political organizers all the time,” he says. “You don't have to persuade everyone in your life. You just have to persuade a couple people.”

“When you don’t exercise your rights, they can be taken away.”

This realization tends to be a wake-up call. “I can’t promise that if you don’t show up for elections, year after year, that everything will remain the same,” Hailey tells people who are on the fence about voting. The best way to celebrate democracy is by registering to vote and showing up to the polls every election day, big or small.

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