The X Factor 2017, live shows week 1, Sunday: Talia Dean voted off and Simon Cowell still absent as new format twists are widely slated by viewers
Talia Dean is the second act to be voted off the X Factor live shows, following Spencer Sutherland's elimination last night
Grace Davies wins the "prize fight" against Rak-Su - but it's a bit of an anti-climax
Simon Cowell is absent again following his fainting episode, with Alesha Dixon standing in
So, the first weekend of X Factor live shows is all wrapped up but the fairly high standard of performances was a little overshadowed by two things: the questionable new format changes and the absence of Simon Cowell.
The "prize fight" seriously lacked drama
Of all the new format changes, this one's been the most badly-received - instead of a sing-off between the two least popular acts, we had the winning act from each night's phone vote competing for a trip to New York to see Pink. There are many, many issues with this, the main one being NOBODY CARES. Sure, it's mildly interesting finding out who's doing well in the voting, but it will become less so as the weeks go on, assuming there are runaway favourites, and this will potentially render the grand final completely pointless.
There's also the fact that Grace and Rak-Su performed the same songs they'd already performed this weekend - and in Rak-Su's case, this was about ten minutes later.
Yep, the whole new format, while not without its merits (we quite like getting to see live performances on a Sunday too, instead of endless recaps), needs a bit of a rethink - and we hope that's exactly what Simon Cowell's been doing while watching from his sick bed.
It's a win for "genuine artists" though
The word "artist" gets thrown around a lot on this show, since it's seen as superior to "popstar", but actually, the results this weekend seem to suggest viewers do indeed enjoy seeing acts perform their own material - both night's winners, Grace and Rak-Su, have showcased original songs at every opportunity. This weekend's theme, Express Yourself, naturally encouraged this, but we're wondering how things will evolve as the competition goes on... it seems a bit unfair on the other acts if the show has secretly become about something other than looking like a popstar and sounding like a popstar.
The rollercoaster is over for Talia Dean
Talia's elimination got a bit overshadowed by all the "prize fight" nonsense that followed, so let's take a second to appreciate her. She had a rocky ride on the show, exiting temporarily at both Six Chair Challenge and Judges' Houses, and, though she was very sweet and had a nice enough voice, she couldn't quite compete with some of her rivals tonight. However, here's yet another issue with the new format - if all 16 acts had been performing on one show, as in previous years, would Talia have been safe? There were definitely weaker singers on last night's show. Will it always be as clear-cut as two categories performing per night, or might it be fairer if acts are randomly allocated Saturday or Sunday, perhaps by way of some sort of snazzy lottery machine? It would give Dermot something else to do...
When did everything get so nice?
This year there are no novelty acts, no villains (in fact, the finalists largely consist of sweet smiley people who really really love their families), no nasty old deadlock, and now the show climaxes with the most popular singer being rewarded. Is this a conscious decision after years of accusations of X Factor being just too cruel? And will it get boring fast?
And finally...
What is it about Matt Linnen?
As it happened...
Phew, the cheaper option won
Grace is off to New York to see Pink. Which is basically a status update, not a dramatic twist on a primetime TV show.
Meanwhile, something called "When Talent Shows Go Horribly Wrong" is genuinely about to start on Channel 5.
If you didn't want fajitas before, you will now
Actually, we'd reach straight for their other rhyme - tequila - if it weren't for the small matter of a foetus within us. Because seriously, fun as Rak-Su are, hearing the same song again so soon is TOO MUCH. This whole "Sunday showdown" thing needs serious work. Nobody cares who wins a trip to see Pink. But we reckon it would mean more to Grace.
And are they all wearing built-up shoes as a tribute to Simon Cowell?
So, Grace is singing the same song as last night
Does this mean Rak-Su will be singing the same song they sang five minutes ago, or has Grace just run out of songs?
Not sure about all this business. Where's the tension?
Meanwhile, Rak-Su will go up against Grace Davies for the big NYC trip
Just as we predicted. Anyone would think we'd been writing about this nonsense for 300* years.
*14.
Yep. Poor Talia.
She got messed with royally at the Six Chair Challenge, THEN rejected at Judges' Houses only to be brought back as a wildcard, and now she's been voted off already. It's the right call based on the acts we saw tonight but we can't but think that based on the usual format, where all of the finalists perform in one night, she would've been safe - there were weaker singers lurking in last night's boys and girls...
So, who will be voted off tonight?
Tonight's performances have been stronger overall than last night, so it's a tough call, but we can't help but feel a little nervous for Talia Dean.
And as for who will come top in the phone vote and go up against Grace Davies for the New York trip... we're thinking Rak-Su* could be in with a good chance, which would be a lot more expensive for the producers.
We spoke too soon about Sharon knowing people's names. "Katsu". Oh. Dear. We could murder a Wagamamas about now though.
Rak-Su have gone down a treat with a song about fajitas
OK, it was about a girl, but fajitas featured prominently in the lyrics... in association with JustEat, obvs.
We think the one who doesn't really do anything apart from the occasional "whoop" might be our favourite act in the competition.
Sharon Osbourne LOVES them. In fact, Sharon Osbourne has shown more enthusiasm in one night than she did during the whole of the last series. She even knows a few people's names.
Flipping heck, Traceyleanne's makeover!
"You're like a cockney Kardashian!" says Louis Walsh. We were thinking more Tulisa but, either way, she's certainly scrubbed up rather well. Or "Scher-slayed" as literally nobody else but Nicole would ever say.
Traceyleanne's not the most varied performer - she basically always sounds like Amy Winehouse - but we couldn't possibly resent her place in the competition; she's certainly different from the others, and she's so very grateful to be there.
This pushed-down 90s fringe thing needs to stop
Although Sean and Conor Price don't look quite as silly as Leon Mallet did last night. And they're very sweet. The judges will get major boos if they ever say anything remotely negative about them, it would be like kicking a puppy.
Ooh, here he is...
Matt Linnen, the one we're all ashamed of fancying (apart from Sharon Osbourne who can't seem to contain herself), because X Factor's brainwashed us into it with their talk of him being single and able to iron and what-not. Oh, also, his naughty eyes. The good news is, he's managed to out-cleavage Nicole; the bad news is, his performances aren't the most exciting in the competition but he's off to a solid start. He could be as big as, er, Matt Cardle.
Are Jack & Joel this year's novelty act?
Well, not really, but they are a lot more light-hearted and smiley than most of the others. We'd imagine they'll start annoying us in a few weeks - assuming they're still here - but for now it's all quite fun. The judges love them too (although clearly not enough to have actually chosen them for the live shows themselves).
In fact, this year's finalists are basically the most affable bunch so far, with no villains making their evil presence known either... yet.
Oh no, Talia just Live Lounged a One Direction song
It's one of the biggest talent show clichés in the book, taking an upbeat pop song and turning it into a slightly dreary ballad. Talia seems like a total sweetie but her voice went a bit iffy a few times as she belted out You Don't Know You're Beautiful.
Alesha Dixon speaks the truth: "If I'm being really honest I didn't love the arrangement of that song".
Louis Walsh, on the other hand, doesn't so much: "You remind me a little bit of a young Barbra Streisand." Nicole Scherzinger has taken the off-brand references further still, likening Talia to Taylor Dayne. Not Swift, Dayne. Major tumbleweed all round.
French Kev is lovely but is he exciting enough for this show?
He's the most muso-y act we've had on X Factor in years, and we've no doubt that he could make a very lovely album, but is this what the voting public want? We hope so, as it stands he's a nice addition to the show.
"When you sing it stirs my soul like that," says Nicole while doing something weird with her leg. Is she showing off because she's sitting next to young, glam Alesha rather than old, crocked Simon?
The Cutkelvins are like a proper group already
You know, one of those ones you hear being piped into shops but don't know the name of. There's a compliment in there somewhere; they're pretty slick. And is it just us or did they totally ham up their Scottishness on the pre-performance VT? Gots to get those regional votes...
The judges are enthusing, er, enthusiastically. "Yummy yummy yummy in my tummy," says self-styled eccentric Nicole, who's come tonight as a present that's bursting out of its wrapping paper.
Here we go - with Alesha Dixon standing in for Simon
Nice work if you can get it, she doesn't even need to make any decisions.
Still, the new format should mean tonight's show is a bit less of a drag than the old results show, which was all recaps and promo performances.
With 40 minutes to go, will Simon make it?
As X Factor's head honcho and lead judge, it's spectacularly bad timing for Simon Cowell to be on bed rest during the first weekend of live shows this year. But, following his fainting episode at home on Friday, it's thought he'll be forced to skip tonight's live show too - meaning that he'll miss out on watching his category, the groups, perform for the public vote for the first time.
Alesha Dixon, basically the show's go-to supply teacher after standing in for both Sharon Osbourne and Nicole Scherzinger at various stages of the auditions, has reportedly been lined up to cover his duties. Although with the new format meaning that the judges take a backseat to the public when it comes to voting acts off, we're not entirely sure a replacement is needed.
On last night's show, Spencer Sutherland, all the way from Ohio, was the first act to be voted off, while bookies' favourite Grace Davies came top of the phone vote, meaning she's now in the running for a trip to New York to hang out with Pink. The new format will see her enter a "singing showdown" with whoever tops tonight's phone vote. Sounds simple enough, but even flawless Dermot O'Leary got confused about proceedings on last night's show.
The show starts at the earlier than usually time of 7pm (but feels like 8pm, will you look how dark it is! Etc etc...) on ITV, so please direct one eye here as we try to keep up with the various twists and turns despite being in a sugar coma following a children's Halloween party this afternoon.