21 Uncomfortable, Cringey, Or Just Plain Manipulative Public Marriage Proposals That Scream "I'm Only Doing This To Pressure You Into Saying Yes"

Recently, over on the Ask Women subreddit, u/Gilded_Violet asked women how they really feel about public proposals. Some women said that if a couple is on the same page about marriage — and has discussed the proposal beforehand — getting engaged in a public setting can actually be sweet. However, A LOT of women hated the whole concept and felt really strongly about it, stating that a public proposal is a million times worse than a restaurant announcing your birthday and even jokingly comparing it to being held hostage.

NBC / Via giphy.com

And the women who shared their own stories about getting proposed to in front of a crowd? Well, the majority felt manipulated, disrespected, or super mortified by the whole thing. Here are a few of their stories:

1."I’m not a fan. I was proposed to downtown, in the middle of our city, and there were a ton of people around watching. After my partner at the time proposed, and I said yes, he turned around and took a massive bow to the crowd. Then he threw my hand in the air like I'd just won a boxing championship. We managed to stay together another 11 months, but the whole vibe of the proposal set the tone for that time. He definitely didn’t know me as well as I thought, and I clearly didn’t know him well enough either."

—u/darklight285

2."Can confirm: very much not fun. I got booed out of the restaurant after I said no. Don’t do it, people. ??"

—u/Bekind-toyourmind

3."My boyfriend at the time proposed at my birthday party in front of everyone. Because everyone was watching, and I didn't want to make a scene, I felt that I had no option but to say yes, even though he was manipulative and not a nice person. We broke up shortly after, but it was not pleasant when everyone thought we were happily getting married."

—u/Magickxxx

4."My ex proposed to me in front of my entire family, including all of my extended family who was visiting for my cousin’s funeral. It was terrible timing. He sang a song (poorly) and asked in front of everyone. I had already previously told him no because he needed to get his shit together (get a job/have goals in life). He didn’t, but I felt obligated to say yes. We ended it a month and a half later when he still didn’t have anything together. Thank God we never got married!"

—u/mama2coco

5."My ex proposed to me after I got off of a plane...in the fucking airport. Then he got mad that I didn’t kiss him. It was so embarrassing."

—u/Kmschw

6."Hate it. My husband did this. He planned for my whole family to come down to his mom's house. His mom called me and asked me to come over to help fix her tile. I walked in and my mom, dad, sister, and brother, along with my husband's mom, dad, and sister, were all staring at me. My dear husband was on his knee and said only, 'Will you marry me?' After I accepted, he asked why I didn’t cry. 'Ummmm because everyone was looking at me, and also you didn’t say anything sweet.' He also didn’t make sure I was showered or dressed nicely. Like, I thought I was doing housework, so I came in ripped leggings and didn't wash my hair. Later, I told him that while it was very sweet to invite everyone, I did NOT like that. Marriage is for the couple not everyone else. He actually ended up re-proposing later on in front of a lake during sunset."

—u/DogMoM2011568

7."It really puts you on the spot. I got stage fright and blacked out my spouse's entire proposal because we were being watched like a play. And the script said I had to say yes."

—u/shannon_nonnahs

8."I was publicly proposed to — twice. I’m a massive extrovert and even then, it threw me off. I knew the proposals were likely to happen, but I had no clue it was going to happen in public. I can’t imagine how introverted people must feel when being proposed to in public."

—u/More_netflix_please·

9."I was proposed to on stage before my favorite band played. I was too young to understand this at the time, but I should have trusted my gut and said no instead of worrying about how he might feel if I said no in front of all those people. In short, it ruined my night. I was expecting to see my favorite band perform, and ended up having a pit in my stomach and not enjoying the show at all. And we divorced three short years later (by my prompting, FWIW)."

—u/lcmillz

10."Not for me. I was proposed to in front of the castle at Disney and soooo many people were around us. I’m introverted as fuck and would have loved more privacy for such an intimate moment. I felt like I had to say yes and be all omg gleeful and shit, which isn’t me. The whole thing wasn’t me. She’s my ex now."

—u/Unlucky_Blueberry_

11."After I'd been very clear about being ready to marry him if he ever felt ready himself, he proposed in front of a ton of friends. I loved and hated it. On the one hand, it felt like a special event, but I was really not excited to be photographed and be the center of attention. I knew based on his behavior that it was coming, but I still couldn't cope with that many eyes on me."

—u/Tericakes

12."Personally, not for it. Thankfully my husband never did. But I remember when I was younger, a guy I was friends with did it as a joke in the middle of a shopping mall, and even though it wasn't real, I was still mortified."

—u/Nervous-Toe-6779

13."Not my thing. I walked out. I don’t like to be put in the spotlight."

—u/Fab_enigma07

14."I was publicly proposed to in front of maybe 500 people during Christmas church service. I hate attention. We are divorced."

—u/Happy_Bowler_1513

15."In my personal experience, it put me in a bad spot, and I said yes when I probably would have said no otherwise. My parents were there, it was overcrowded, and there were multiple people proposing all around us. Looking back, I cringe at it all."

—u/Youallscareme

16."My stepdad proposed to my mom at her work in front of everyone, but he also CALLED THE LITTLE LOCAL NEWS STATION! She was so, so embarrassed. They have since divorced."

—u/crabbierapple

17."I always envisioned a private, intimate proposal to reflect my personality. I told my husband multiple times that I did not want a public proposal, especially not at a restaurant. However, he ended up proposing to me at a restaurant and invited our parents. It was hurtful because he completely disregarded everything I asked for, which wasn’t much to begin with. He said he didn’t think I would mind because he invited our families and because it was a restaurant we both enjoyed. It was several years ago, but I still get disappointed when I think about it."

—u/LifeInShamblez3

18."Not quite a proposal, but when I was a new student my senior year of high school, a guy who I'd known for a week asked me to homecoming at a pep rally in front of our school of ~1,200 students. After he sang the national anthem, he gave a speech about how he’d recently been lucky enough to meet the person he’d been looking for his whole life, how he’d fallen in love at first sight, and how he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life getting to know…ME. He asked me to stand up, and everyone's heads turned to face me. I did, and he proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go to homecoming with him (which was like two months away??) It was mortifying and so embarrassing, and I ABSOLUTELY said yes due to the pressure and everyone’s expectations.

Then he ran over to me and gave me two dozen roses (it was first period). All day everyone was coming up to me to talk about it and asking me how long we’d been dating. I kept telling people we barely knew each other. It was so awkward and embarrassing for me. I ended up saying no a week later."

—u/karamobrownismydad

19."I HATE IT. I had my 21st birthday party hijacked by a 'proposal.' We were already engaged, both our families knew, and we were just waiting for my ring to be finished. But I guess he wanted the whole thing made more public. The party was at a nightclub with easily a thousand people. We divorced almost as quickly as we married. All the photos from that night scream 'engagement party,' and I’m left with no untainted memories of my 21st birthday."

—u/RealRepresentative48

20."It was awful. My ex was all about attention on himself. I had driven hours to watch him perform at a college basketball event. I almost didn't go, but I got a lot of pressure from his sister to go watch him. It was a big crowd, and his family was all there. When the performance took a shift and I realized what was happening, I was so ready to bolt. I knew I was being filmed and everyone was watching. It was one of the worst moments of stage fright in my life. In hindsight, I should’ve realized that my feelings were not important to him and took that as a sign as to how the future would be with him.

Later on, my family asked why I didn’t tell them how the proposal happened and I admitted it was because I was so embarrassed by the whole ordeal that I didn’t want to tell anyone. Anyway, he’s about to marry the woman he cheated on me with. And I have no doubt it’ll be just as much of a 'look at me' kind of event he loves. Oh, and the person who took and posted that awful public proposal video won’t take it down because it’s 'their most liked video ever.' ?????♀?"

—u/Silent_Observer1414

21.And finally, "Not me, but I had a teacher once who went to Vegas with her boyfriend. He proposed in the chapel with the officiant or whatever at the altar and her entire family, whom he'd flown in. Even as a teenage dork, that seemed like unacceptably high pressure."

—u/Bobolequiff

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

How do you feel about public proposals? Have you ever been part of one? Let me know down below!