Why Am I So Mad? Dealing With Pregnancy Rage
Pregnancy mood swings are normal, but what happens if they make you so angry that you see red? Here's how to handle pregnancy rage.
Medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MDMedically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD
Fluctuating hormones can make pregnancy an emotional rollercoaster. In the span of a single day—heck, an afternoon—you may feel joy, sadness, and, yes, pregnancy rage.
Anger affects many expectant parents. While common, it's not harmless. Along with potentially making you feel sad and regretful, sustained anger in pregnancy can negatively impact the health of you and your developing fetus. Here are some ways to understand and soothe your pregnancy rage, for the sake of you and your baby.
Getty Images | Sky Nesher
What Causes Pregnancy Rage?
Why do some expectant people see red? We can't exclusively blame pregnancy mood swings on a hormonal ambush, say experts. "Hormones probably play a role, but there's no conclusive medical data yet," says Lori Altshuler, MD, director of the Mood Disorders Research Program at UCLA.
Along with hormonal shifts, it's thought that the cumulative discomforts of pregnancy may play a role in prenatal rage.
"In the early months some women experience nausea, fatigue, tender breasts, and the fear that something might go wrong," says Clark Gillespie, MD, author of Your Pregnancy Month by Month. "As time goes on, there's insomnia, more pressure on the bowels and bladder, and feeling overheated—all of which can contribute to irritability."
Related: 8 Ways Your Body Changes During Pregnancy
Impacts of Pregnancy Rage
Feeling angry from time to time during pregnancy is normal. However, if you are feeling chronic or intense levels of anger, it's important to talk to your health care provider.
For one thing, anger is not healthy for you. Anger can go hand-in-hand with depression. It may lead to feelings of guilt and regret, too. Moreover, it can harm your developing baby's health.
Research suggests that intense angry outbursts may put you at higher risk for placental abruption, a rare but serious complication that can deprive your baby of oxygen and nutrients during pregnancy. Other studies show that babies of pregnant parents with high levels of anger are more likely to experience growth delays and sleep troubles.
Related: How to Deal With Sleep Deprivation After Baby
How To Reduce Pregnancy Rage
Ann Badillo, of Palo Alto, California, stormed home from work one night and hurled her briefcase across the living room. "I can't take this anymore," she bellowed at her stunned husband. "I'm quitting."
Granted, Badillo, a marketing strategist, was under a lot of pressure at work. But she thinks being five months pregnant is what made her lose it that evening. "I'm a passionate person and I've been known to have a temper. But it's been even more intense during my two pregnancies," she says.
Fortunately, with the help of a good dinner and her understanding husband, she was able to calm down. You may be soothed by different rage-busting techniques. If you're pregnant and find you're frequently furious, try:
Walking away: Avoid discussions that'll only make your blood boil—tell the offending party that you're feeling sensitive and you would rather not talk about the issue. Then give yourself a half-hour and take a stroll, whether it's around the office or around the block.
Staying active: Swimming, tennis, walking, gardening—many types of pregnancy-safe exercise can keep your hostility barometer in check while helping to relieve physical discomforts.
Writing it out: It can be very cathartic to vent on paper—through journal entries, poems, or outrageously nasty letters that you never mail.
Taking a mental health break: Whether it's a day off work or a two-hour escape from older kids, pamper yourself: Get a facial, see a movie, or buy a new pair of comfortable shoes.
Seeking professional help: If you find your anger is making it hard to function, consider talking to a therapist.
If anger or rage becomes an issue during your pregnancy, it's smart to track it with a professional—and flag it as something that might pop up postpartum as well. Postpartum rage can be worsened by exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and stress, according to one study. Anger can be a sign of postpartum depression, and is best addressed by working with a professional.
Related: We All Know Being Pregnant Can Be Hard Work, But Now a New Study Proves It
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