Vera, series 9 episode 1 review: Brenda Blethyn deserves better than this slow drama
New year, same old Vera (ITV). DCI Vera Stanhope (the estimable Brenda Blethyn) might look like your bumbling aunt in her gardening clothes but the shambolic exterior hides a razor-sharp mind. She’s the Geordie Columbo. Miss Marple relocated from St Mary Mead to St James’ Park.
This ninth series of Tyneside sleuthing began with the corpse of prison psychologist Joanne Caswell discovered dumped on a landfill site, having been stabbed multiple times. Vera learnt that Joanne had been investigating the original murder conviction of a former inmate. Had she uncovered something worth killing for?
During her eight years on our screens, Vera’s trademarks have become her shapeless hat, flapping mac and habit of calling everyone “pet” or “love” (even murderers). Less remarked upon is her blue Land Rover Defender, which got more screen time than most of the human characters. A cynic might suspect surreptitious product placement. If there was one shot of her pulling up at a crime scene and wearily slamming the car door, there were several dozen.
The script plodded from one plot point to the next, like Vera herself through the handsome Northumbrian scenery. At a “feature-length” two hours, my goodness, it dragged. Six ad breaks came and went while my eyelids grew heavy. This was Death in Paradise without the Caribbean sun or Midsomer Murders without the camp fun.
Our valiant heroine was the only fleshed-out character. Sidekick DS Aiden Healy (Kenny Doughty) had little to do other than fetch Vera cups of tea and ask dim questions to let her to prove how perceptive she was. The rest of the team were ciphers for delivering information, before scurrying back behind their desks.
Despite the presence in the guest cast of such hoary thesps as Peter Davison (as Joanne’s dodgy boss) and Adrian Lukis (as her equally dodgy father), the killer turned out to be someone more dull.
A pair of plot twists came too late. My patience had worn thin, pet. A hat, coat and off-road vehicle do not a compelling detective make. Blethyn deserved better.
