True sportsmanship—character that goes beyond the game

I witnessed something truly magnificent last night at my son’s middle school basketball game. The Greenwood Blue Jays were in their second evening of a weeklong tournament in Humansville, Missouri—a small, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it southern Missouri town. The girls team, the Lady Blue Jays, had just mopped the floor with the opposing team in this particular bracket. They won by a landslide.  I only caught the tail end of their game, coming in hot to see my son play. As I was settling into my cozy, hard-backed, folding stadium chair, I happened to look up just in time to see both teams of female basketball players line up to participate in the routine high (or low) five and typical monotone, “Good game,” that is customary at the end of athletic competitions.

One young lady caught my eye. She was on the team that lost by a rather noticeable amount on the scoreboard. You would have thought she’d look defeated or maybe even humbled by the landslide victory of the opposing team, our very own Lady Blue Jays. And perhaps she did. But you could not tell. At all. I watched, perched high in the stands of that unfamiliar school gymnasium, as that young lady not only gave every opposing team member a heartfelt hand gesture of gratitude coupled with a genuine smile but, she also did something a little extra.

With the hand not shaking her opposing teammates’ hands, she gently patted each player on the shoulder. Every single player. In a very humbling, you’re-great-and-I-value-you-as-a-person-and-player sort of way. It was truly breathtaking and eye-opening. I had never seen such a show of compassion, especially from the losing team!

I was intrigued by this show of sportsmanship, which is truly atypical. Many times, a player on the losing team refuses to even make contact. Or worse yet, a player on the winning team utters a confrontational and prideful unsportsmanlike phrase under their breath. This young athlete, however, went so far as to offer the same graceful handshake, award-winning smile and kind shoulder pat to the opposing coach in addition to the team of girls she had just competed against. I’m not sure if our players, the coaches or the administration sitting nearby noticed this small act of kindheartedness. But one person in the stands did. Me.

This young lady went out of her way, even in a losing state of mind, to be polite, upbeat, kind and gracious to the opposing team. I can only imagine she serves as the captain (or perhaps she should) of her own basketball team. While the scoreboard showed a harrowing win by my son’s school, I saw a winner of a different category on that wooden planked gymnasium floor. I saw something greater than a big tournament win. I saw sportsmanship that goes beyond the game. Kindness and true value for others that shines beyond the spotlight of athleticism and structured competition. Sportsmanship that beautifully bleeds over into the metaphorical game of life.

I saw a young lady that was so confident in herself, that she exuded a gift of grace and kindness to others. Even those that had, moments before, harshly claimed victory over her own team. That is true sportsmanship. That goes beyond sportsmanship into the realm of human connection. As proud as I was of our female Blue Jays last night, seeing this small act of maturity and devotion to humanity, from a middle schooler no less, caused my soul to smile even bigger.

Sports are about so much more than winning and losing. They teach us to remain kind and loving, even during a losing season—especially during a losing season. They teach us to remain humble and graceful, because the game can so easily shift from losing to winning, with just a simple tweak of plays, mindset, mentality, player substitutions and ability.

Sports teach us that the true victors are not necessarily the ones that win the coveted large, shiny tournament trophy and get their names and pictures plastered into the school hallway showcase for future generations to see. Rather, they are the ones that invest in others, show kindness at every turn and realize that no matter the season, in win or in loss, the way we treat others, our character when the chips are down, that is the genuine mark of a true winner.

Hands down, high-fives, fist bumps and a graceful pat on the back to this forward-thinking young lady athlete that stood out to me as the Most Valuable Player of last night’s tournament championship basketball game. With her positive attitude and gentle grace toward others, she will no doubt go far in life. Both on and off the basketball court, where so many hard lessons are learned, which beautifully translate into future life seasons defined by mountain-top highs and deep-valley lows.

Whatever the situation or season may be, this young lady, I don’t even know her name, shared a very important lesson with me, and hopefully others in the crowd and on the floor. The true character of a person lies not in their ability, gifts or achievements, it lies in the graceful, humble and caring heart that a person extends to those around them, in every season of life.