How do I find a therapist?
As the coronavirus outbreak continues, many people may be interested in looking to therapy to help ease stress and anxiety, but it can be difficult to know where to start. Dr. Jen Hartstein, Yahoo Lifestyle Mental Health Contributor and practicing psychologist in New York City, wants people to know they’re not alone and that there are resources out there for those seeking help. “It is very normal for everyone to be feeling depressed, anxious, hopeless, confused — there are so many emotions right now,” she says. “We’re all on an emotional rollercoaster together, so we’ve just got to ride it,” she adds. If you don’t know where to begin, Dr. Hartstein reveals there are many resources available to people seeking out a therapist. “Finding a therapist can be very daunting and can be a very challenging prospect, but it’s important to kind of think about it like you might be finding a doctor,” she says. She suggests asking friends who you think might be in therapy for a recommendation, calling your primary care physician for a referral or consulting websites like Psychology Today. Since in-person therapy isn’t an option for most right now, Dr. Hartstein says virtual therapy can be a great tool. “We’re all doing teletherapy,” she says. “Teletherapy can be just as effective as in-person,” she adds. Dr. Hartstein also wants people to know that speaking with a therapist can be more affordable than they might think. “May insurance companies do cover therapy,” she says. “At different times, people offer sliding fees. If you are really in a situation where financially you don’t have the money ask them what their sliding fee scale is and they might be able to provide you a reduced rate,” she adds. Dr. Hartstein says that “therapy can be helpful at any point, but really during a crisis, it can be incredibly helpful because we don’t really know what to do with these feelings and very often we’re so busy that we’re not allowing ourselves to drop in and be in our feelings, so here’s an opportunity to explore it, understand it, problem-solve it.”
Video Transcript
JEN HARTSTEIN: It is very normal for everyone to be feeling depressed, anxious, hopeless, confused. There are so many emotions right now. We are all on an emotional roller coaster together, so we've just got to ride it. I'm Dr. Jennifer Hartstein. I'm a clinical psychologist based in New York City.
So therapy can be helpful at any point but really, during a crisis it can be incredibly helpful because we don't really know what to do with all of these feelings. And very often, we're so busy that we're not allowing ourselves to drop in and be in our feelings. So here's an opportunity to explore it, understand it, problem solve it because you can't just always be and your emotions. You have to figure out what to do with your emotions. So therapy provides an outlet for you to figure that out and have someone guide you along that path.
Therapy is for everyone, and there is no topic off limits when you go to therapy. So therapy can be because you are feeling acute anxiety, acute depression, or maybe you have a diagnosis of some sort of mental health issue. But the fact is, all of us have mental health. It exists on a continuum across the board, and we can talk about our relationships, our life, our concerns about coronavirus, our jobs, our goals and aspirations, our sex life, anything. No holds barred, bring it in. And your therapist is there to guide you along a path to understand how you feel about it, to problem solve what you might want to do about it, and to help you really create and live the best life you can.
There are a lot of myths around therapy. Probably the biggest one is only crazy people go to therapy. All of us have physical health. We go to the doctor. We have good heart health, we have all these other things. Everything starts with our minds, so our minds and body are connected. You're not crazy you go to therapy. In fact, I'd say, very smart and practical.
So finding a therapist can be very daunting and can be a very challenging prospect, but it's important to think about it like you might be finding a doctor. So first step could be to ask any of your friends who you might think might be in therapy, right? They might have a therapist they love and then that therapist knows somebody that they can refer you to. You can also start with your primary care physician. Everybody's afraid to call their doctors right now, but imagine, primary care physicians are getting a lot of phone calls for therapists.
There are some websites that provide information. The best one to check out is Psychology Today, which allows you to put in your zip code and then gives you therapists in your area, and you can read their bios. And then lastly, there are many telehealth companies that are out there now like Talk Space or other things like that that you could really connect with someone right away via text, and they might be able to provide some recommendations for you, too.
So in order to figure out if the therapist is the right therapist for you, I would say pick your top three. Set up calls with all of them. Many people will give a 10 or 15 minute consultation. It's kind of like interviewing for a job candidate. The first person might not be the right person. You might have to be an educated consumer and figure out who the right person is for you.
Many insurance companies do cover therapy, and so that's another place you can reach out to. You can reach out to your insurance carrier, ask them for names of psychologists or therapists or social workers in your area, and they'll give you a list, and there is a list of people you know will be covered.
At different times, people offer sliding fees. So if you are really in a situation where financially you don't have the money, ask them what they're sliding fee scale is, and they might be able to provide you a reduced rate, which might mean you have to go during the day instead of in the evening, but still an option. And then lastly, a lot of hospitals have clinics, and the clinics are actually going to the same idea of teletherapy, and they can provide you better access to care sometimes at reduced rates as well.
We're in an age right now where in-person therapy isn't an option for many of us, so we're all doing teletherapy. Treat the therapy session as if we're in an office. So we're in a quiet space with as few distractions as possible, which is hard when many of us are working from home, and shutting off notifications and really being present. Teletherapy therapy can be just as effective as in-person.
My first recommendation is to shut the news off. You're not really learning anything new, so schedule times that you're going to watch the news. And secondly, make sure you're creating positive things-- connecting with friends, having fun, watching TV shows you like.
And lastly, give yourself a break, right? Stop should-ing on yourself, and just do what you can do. And what I mean by that is take the word should out of your vocabulary. I should be doing more. I should be working harder. I should be connecting more. I should have called that person. Should is so judgmental, and it makes us feel worse. So rather than use it all the time, talk about what you want to do and what you need to do, and then figure those things out and find a balance between them.