Straight Up: Artesian at The Langham
Social media has a lot to answer for. Selfies, shelfies (and worse), #blessed, the use of “that moment when…” as a precursor to an Insta-brag. Artesian Bar at the Langham, named the Best Bar in The World four times in a row from 2012 to 2015, has adopted the millennial’s favourite verbal tic in its new cocktail menu, dubbed Artesian Moments.
It’s the brainchild of head bartender Remy Savage and bar manager Anna Sebastian, who arrived at Artesian late last year from Paris’s Little Red Door and the Savoy’s Beaufort Bar, respectively, to fill the star-shaped hole left by Alex Kratena and Simone Caporale when they departed in 2015. In that time, Artesian has slipped off the World’s 50 Best Bars list - this new menu is the team’s attempt to reclaim its place at the top of London’s hotel bar scene.
What did your first day at school taste like? Granny Smith apples, almond lemonade and leather, according to the 500 people surveyed by the bar, whose responses were used as the inspiration behind the 17 new cocktails, each of which relates to a “life-defining moment”.
Every drink has a story behind it that’ll spark a wry moment of recognition. That Moment When...You First Rode a Bike is a fresh, grassy blend of gin, citrus and Gangnam tops, sprayed with lavender and served with a side of iron sorbet to evoke the metallic taste of blood.
You Turned 30 marks the point at which you’re able to explore the finer things in life, our waiter tells us; like fine wine, whisky and coffee. Old Fashioned-esque, it blends Glenfiddich 15 with sweet orange wine, coffee-infused vodka and the dry tannins from a red wine reduction.
Turning 18, on the other hand, is typically celebrated with “beer and tequila”: so Patron Silver, tomato and Sambuca cordial and agave spirit are topped up with pale ale and finished with smoked salt to evoke the smell of an old pub.
Artesian, however, is about as far removed from a dingy old pub as it gets. High ceilings, huge pagoda-style chandeliers and leather and brass-studded furniture make this a special-occasion kind of bar. It’s polished, sure, but not snooty – staff will welcome you as if it is your local.
Previously, Artesian’s cocktails were served in vessels that could double as modern art installations. Artesian Moments is pared back, focused on flavour over flashy presentation. But some surprises remain. Our waiter encouraged us to try That Moment When It All Began. “What’s the first thing you taste or smell?” he asked. “Human skin.” Cue concerned glances.
Happily, no bartenders were harmed in the making of the five liquid-filled balls that arrived, quivering, each one garnished with a different herb. Pop them in whole, as they explode in the mouth, releasing a burst of apricot Eau de Vie with vanilla, jasmine and salt. An odd sensation, and one I’m not sure I’d repeat.
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Like life itself, the menu has its ups and downs. You Went Travelling (Santa Teresa 1796 rum, papaya and noni cordial and cardamom-infused liquor) tasted a little like a suncream-laced iced tea, but Your Heart Was Broken went down a treat – a potent blend of every new singleton’s go-tos: whisky, chocolate and wine.
Time will tell whether Artesian Moments will woo back the 50 Best critics or London’s cocktail connoisseurs - the bar was remarkably sedate on the Thursday evening of our visit. But it deserves to. With creative, conversation-sparking drinks and sublime surroundings, at Artesian, life couldn’t be better.
1c Portland Place, London W1B 1JA; artesian-bar.co.uk