The One Thing That Helped My Family to Navigate Pet Loss Together

Saying goodbye to our family dog, Chewie (short for Chewbacca) was hard. My twins had grown up with him as our family dog. We adopted Chewie when my twins were 18 months old.

They spent most of their lives with him cuddled on the couch, sleeping in their stuffed animals, and chasing him in the backyard.

For me, he was my soul dog. He followed me everywhere. He sat on the bath mat when I was in the shower. He was my shadow.

When he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in December 2021, we decided to move forward with radiation treatment.

During the pandemic, my husband and I would take turns driving him to his appointments.

We had to wait in the car for several hours until his treatment was done. We had to do this four times a week. It bought us about seven months of extra time with our guy.

When the time had come to say goodbye, I struggled with allowing my twins to join us at the vet clinic for when Chewie would be put to sleep. They were five years old at the time, and I didn't know if it would be too upsetting for them to see him this way.

I asked a few mom friends their opinions. One friend suggested that we talk about what they might see and how their parents might react. On the day we scheduled his euthanasia, my kids begged me to come say goodbye. My husband and I prefaced that they might see us very upset and that Chewie would be given a shot that would make him go to sleep forever.

They came with us. It was hard. We all cried. I had a difficult time leaving the vet's office and leaving behind the dog I loved so much.

The One Thing That Helped Us With Our Grief

We booked a session with a family therapist who walked us through some exercises to process our grief. I can't tell you how much it helped us to be together and express our love for Chewie.

The first thing we did was write notes to Chewie and place them inside a small wooden box. The kids wrote his name on the outside. The therapist gave us construction paper hearts, and we wrote, "I love you, Chewie," on the pieces of paper.

The kids drew pictures of him. We read the words aloud as we placed them in the box. She gave us bubble wands and said that when we got home to blow bubbles to say goodbye. It might seem like a simple exercise, but it took what was so hard for us and turned it into a beautiful memory.

We still have the box and keep it in the kids' bedroom as a reminder that he's always with us. He will always be loved.

One Children's Book I'd Recommend to Help Your Kids With Pet Loss

We read Bear Island by Matthew Cordell a few times. I can't express how much this book helped us talk about the range of our feelings—like anger and sadness—and what it meant to us to adopt a new pet.

The illustrations are beautiful and the story is simple, sometimes even wordless, and it makes grief understandable for kids.

Bear Island

$13 at Amazon

How to Remember Your Special Pet

September 8 is National Pet Memorial Day and there are several ways to honor your pet. You can donate to a local shelter or rescue group.

Best Friends Animal Society offers dozens of ways to remember your pet, such as memorial markers, wind chimes, and candles. After Chewie passed away, a friend dropped off a pet memorial candle with a handwritten note. The acknowledgment of our loss was so beautifully expressed in the kind gesture.

While I hope that your beloved family pet lives for a very long time, I also hope that when it comes time for your pet to cross that rainbow bridge, these suggestions help you and your family through the grief process.