Humor: If classic poets wrote your push notifications
Even lyrical words can't guilt you into continuing that language course
When the owl isn’t enough to guilt you into returning to the language-learning app, maybe the power of beautiful words will.
I have canceled your
subscription to
Russian and Spanish.
Which you were
most likely never going
to actually learn.
Forgive me,
I feel you need
harsher motivation.
That unused fitness tracker app is done pretending you’re coming back.
Because you could not workout for yourself,
you probably wouldn’t jog for me.
But keep this exercise app in case you decide to start again,
and to pay the company.
App that teaches coding knows your New Year’s Resolution is over.
Helen, Helen, learning code.
Did you figure out the node?
What the equation? What the key?
Would make your game work flawlessly?
When you fail to listen to the podcasts in your queue, the poet will come for you.
Listen my subscriber, and you shall hear
a brand new tale, just for your ear.
On the 20th of November, 2020,
a new episode will be released weekly.
The general platform full of creative courses has your money already. But it really wants you to finish and rate the watercolor teacher.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while you pondered, drunk and sleepy,
over many a quaint and creative course that Skillshare owned.
Eventually, you signed up for watercolor, no thought that you might fail to pass,
Or even take the time to amass, the hours needed to master the brush at last.
“I’ll finish it later,” you said to no one.
It waits on your homepage, yet undone.
Remember that app you told to track your phone usage and give you a poke when it was time to put down your phone, but you just kept hitting dismiss?
Shall I compare thee to a goldfish?
For thee are as lazy and forgetful.
Doubts shake you, yet you return to optimism,
even as this notification taps on your bowl,
to remind you to put down your phone.
Writing dumb things to make you laugh