I've been there. Sometimes, the conversation flows with a guy, and you think, "Maybe this is the one." Then suddenly, he announces, "Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks so much for coming on my podcast." Is there anything more embarrassing than believing you're experiencing a romantic moment only to discover you're a recurring guest on his podcast?
Knowing if he's into you or just having an intimate, unscripted conversation for content's sake can save you from unimaginable pain and embarrassment. To avoid such mistakes in the future, I've created a foolproof quiz you can take to determine if he's in love or just using you for soundbites.
Quiz
1. When you meet up he…
A: Gives you a big hug.
B: Gives you a big pair of headphones.
2. When you have conversations he…
A: Nods and asks you probing questions to better understand the person he's with.
B: Checks the sound levels while asking questions he thinks his listeners will care about.
3. You think you two might have a future because you talk about …
A: Getting a rescue dog together.
B: Getting sponsorships.
4. When he leads you into a small soundproof room you…
A: Scream and fight your way out.
B: Are impressed by his professionalism.
5. You get upset when he unfavorably compares you to…
A: His ex.
B: Ira Glass.
6. After a year together, you two have…
A: An inside joke.
B: A marketable catchphrase.
7. Your first fight was about…
A: His refusal to admit you were more than a casual girl he hooks up with.
B: His refusal to admit that he kept interrupting your stories.
8. Sometimes at night, when you least expect it, he sends you…
A: ???
B: ???
9. An ideal evening with him includes…
A: Making sweet love.
B: Making sweet love on a Casper Mattress.
10. When you two fight he…
A: Gets quiet because he doesn't like confrontation.
B: Repeats his arguments so he can have the best take later when he edits to elicit sympathy for himself.
11. For your last birthday, he got you…
A: A book.
B: A pop-filter.
12. Your deepest fear is…
A: He will cheat on you with that girl from the juice shop.
B: He will murder you while you two are hiking just to start his own investigative podcast that focuses on finding your killer.
13. Should you decide to break up with him, you plan to do it…
A: On the park bench where you met.
B: In a review on iTunes.
14. After things are over, you will get revenge by…
A: Telling all of your girlfriends how bad he was in bed.
B: Starting your own podcast called "Ex-host" and graphically describe his shortcomings as a podcaster.
15. If you could have changed one thing about him, it would be…
A: His cleanliness.
B: His intro.
16. You liked him because he made you…
A: Smile.
B: enunciate.
17. In the end you learned…
A: When it's over, let them go.
B: When it's over, unsubscribe.
18. The most essential thing you'll look for in your next partner is…
A: A man who understands how to talk about his feelings.
B: A man who understands SEO.
19. The app you're using now is…
A: Tinder.
B: Anchor.
Answer:
Mostly A's-Congratulations! It is or was a relationship!
Mostly B's-Congratulations! You're on a podcast!
Writing dumb things to make you laugh