Clutter Blocks: The real reasons you can’t let your stuff go (and how to break through them!)
The seven reasons why you can't declutter, and how to conquer them.
If you are having trouble decluttering, you are most likely stuck in a Clutter Block. Clutter Blocks are emotional stories you tell yourself about why you can’t let go of the things you don’t want, need, or use! As a professional declutterer and organizer, I have seen these same seven Clutter Blocks pop up over and over again. I have seen these so frequently, I was able to fill an entire book with stories (and tips on how to break free from them and finally declutter). Everyone has one, maybe even more than one. True confession, professional organizers too … mine is Clutter Block #3! If you are experiencing a Clutter Block, it may feel like the clutter is never ending and there is simply no way to get over the hurdle of letting go.
Clutter Block #1: My stuff keeps me stuck in the past
This one shows up in the trophies you received from playing football in high school. It shows up in the bins and bins of your kid’s artwork, but your children are now fully grown adults with decades of other accomplishments and houses of their own. When you hang on to all of these things from way back when, you are telling yourself that your best days are behind you. If seeing these items fill you with a feeling of loss and are preventing you from looking at today or tomorrow, you may be experiencing this Clutter Block. To break free from this Block, ask yourself if these items are in alignment with the way you want to live your life today. Remind yourself that letting go of this old stuff will make space for the life you want now.
Clutter Block #2: My stuff tells me who I am
This block affects shoppers and bargain-hunters. If you are going shopping for the sake of shopping, you might be experiencing this Block. Maybe you have towers of boxes in your entryway, screaming at you to stop online shopping. Maybe your closet is full of the same clothes in every single color because you needed to collect all of them even though green really isn’t your color. Maybe you have a wall of designer bags when the only thing you use every day is your trusty tote bag. If this sounds familiar to you, I am going to challenge you to break this by creating daily meaningful interactions that have nothing to do with stuff. Find ways to connect with people where acquiring stuff isn’t involved. You are a valuable person at your core because of who you are, not because of the stuff you have.
Clutter Block #3: The stuff I’m avoiding
Here it is, my Clutter Block. This is the Block that shows up in mountainous piles of unopened mail and unfiled paperwork. Hundreds of unopened emails and even unread text messages. This is a car trunk that you can’t put anything in because it’s full of items waiting to be returned and/or donated. The trick to getting past this Clutter Block – actually doing the stuff you’re avoiding. There is no magic bullet to making it all disappear. Trust me, I’ve tried. You need to sit yourself down, and do the things you need to do. You can write a list and pick a couple of things to do a day, or you can set a 30 minute timer and do as much as you can before the alarm rings. I can guarantee you that there is nothing on your list you can’t do, no matter how intimidating it may seem.
Clutter Block #4: My fantasy stuff for my fantasy life
This is buying a top-of-the-line countertop pizza oven because you want to start making pizza, but the box has been sitting unopened for years. This is buying everything you need for rock climbing, but all of the supplies are in pristine condition because they’ve never seen a mountain. This is the stuff you purchase or keep because you think that one day, maybe, you’ll start doing something. I can promise you that you do not need all of that stuff to do what you want to do. It is not the acquisition, but action that gets you there. If you have things you purchased that are getting dusty, trust me when I say that it is okay to get rid of them. It says nothing about who you are as a person, and it doesn’t mean that you will never do the things you want to do. You can still use the pots and pans that you already have in your kitchen, and you can always rent rock climbing shoes once you get to the gym.
Clutter Block #5: I’m not worth my good stuff
Are you holding onto fancy things for “someday”? Are you using chipped plates because your wedding china is “too nice”? If so, you are stuck in Clutter Block #5. Maybe you grew up in a household where the nice towels were reserved for company, or maybe you could only wear your favorite outfit on holidays. But now, you are an adult and you can do what you want with your stuff. Use your fancy china for Taco Tuesday just because tacos are delicious. Light the expensive candle because it smells good and it makes you happy. Wear the gorgeous dress on a random Wednesday because when you wear it you feel beautiful. You don’t need to wait until “someday.” Tomorrow is never guaranteed! Today is worth celebrating.
Clutter Block #6: Trapped with other people’s stuff
If your home looks like a museum with your family’s antique furniture and rooms that are crammed full of boxes of memorabilia, you might be stuck in this Block. I have seen this time and time again, where parents offload their junk to their children and don’t let them get rid of it. I’ve seen people with multiple storage units full of stuff from loved ones who have passed away. The worst part of this is that none of this stuff ever gets used! Maybe you’ve been given a full set of dishes that you never liked, and you have your own set that you love. Maybe you’ve been given grandpa’s favorite armchair, but you already have a sectional that takes up the whole living room. You loved your grandpa very much but you don’t love his chair. Let me break it to you – your loved ones are not their things. The amount of items you keep from loved ones does not indicate how much you love them. There are ways you can celebrate them that have nothing to do with your stuff. Remind yourself that you can love and hold their memory and still let go of their things.
Clutter Block #7: The stuff I keep paying for
This Block is much easier to hear than it is to see. If you can’t get rid of things because you tell yourself that you paid “good money” for it or that you “don’t want it to go to waste,” you might be stuck in Clutter Block #7. If you’re not using it, it doesn’t matter what you paid for it! In order to break through this Block, you need to work on your self-acceptance. When you purchased these items, you were making a good guess that you would use it. It doesn’t say anything about your character, or that you’re a bad person because you never used it. You can let these things go, and you can find someone who will use them. And if you don’t, that’s okay too! Sometimes things are just trash, and you’re not a bad person for throwing it away.
Did you see yourself in one of these Clutter Blocks? Do things feel like they make a little bit more sense now? Decluttering is an emotional process. It’s not just picking up the things you don’t use and throwing them out. Sometimes just identifying that you have one of these Blocks is enough to release some pressure off of you. Understanding these Blocks and recognizing them in yourself is the first step in breaking through them. Once you come to terms with your Clutter Block(s), you can really get to work on decluttering and taking your life back from your stuff.
Tracy McCubbin is the founder of dClutterfly, one of America’s top decluttering companies. Tracy looks at the root of our clutter to find the real cause and ways to find real solutions.
