21 Brutally Honest Confessions About "The One Who Got Away" That Range From Absolutely Heartbreaking To "Good For You"
Recently, we shared some stories from older adults who opened up about "the one who got away." In the comments, members of the BuzzFeed Community shared their stories of lost love, too. Some of these stories are heartbreakingly tragic, some worked out for the best, and some hold valuable lessons in love. Here's what they had to say:
1."I had the biggest crush on a boy in high school (20 years ago) but was so insecure that the idea of him ever finding out terrified me. In hindsight, he'd given me MANY signals he was also interested in me, but I hadn't let myself believe them. Not taking a chance with him was a huge regret I carried for many years; hell, even now, I wish I'd done it. I ran into him about six years after I graduated, and he wrapped me up in the biggest, warmest hug."
"I was literally shaking because he was happy to see me and was HUGGING me. We talked for a bit, but I was running late for work, so I had to excuse myself. I realized I didn't ask for his phone number as I drove away, and immediately broke down crying because I'd missed another opportunity with him. The following summer, he passed away in a drowning accident. I found out a day after the funeral by reading it in the local newspaper. That was 13 years ago next month, and it still hurts."
2."She wasn’t the one that got away, but rather, she dumped me after we had been an exclusive couple for about 15 months. I was 18 (freshman in college), and she was 16 (high school senior) when we first started dating. We fell madly in love with each other, and it felt like my whole world revolved around her. She was my first serious girlfriend and my first true love. But the following year, when she moved away to start her freshman year at college, she came home at Thanksgiving and ended our relationship."
"She had gone on a couple of dates with a guy she met in her dorm, and she wanted to be free to date other guys and experience all that college life had to offer.
The breakup devastated me. I thought for sure we would get married one day and live happily ever after.
I have been happily married for 40 years, but I still think about this old girlfriend on a regular basis. She actually did both of us a favor by ending our relationship because, in looking back on it, we were both too young and inexperienced to be seriously considering marriage. After I got over our breakup, I had four or five somewhat serious relationships with other women. My wife and I started dating a year after we first met when I was 26, and I knew pretty soon after we began an exclusive relationship that she was the woman I was going to marry.
I sometimes wonder how I would respond if my old girlfriend got in touch with me. I would be pleased to hear from her (it’s been almost 50 years since we had any contact) but I think that sometimes it is best to leave certain relationships in the past. But what I sometimes think about is if we were both widowed, could we reconnect as a romantic couple? We had a very loving relationship when we dated as teenagers, and I can’t recall ever having an argument. If she hadn’t initiated the breakup, I wouldn’t have ruled out us getting married, although, like I said earlier, it was probably best that we didn’t.
Bottom line is that I hope she is happy and doing well."
3."Mine that got away was my ex-husband. We both had our share of mental health problems, and he had an alcohol problem. We just couldn’t do it anymore, even though he really was my soulmate. After we both got help we have been able to be in contact and be the best friends we always were together. I still miss him sometimes, but I know if I needed him or he needed me, we would be on a plane in an instant. I’m excited to introduce him to my husband this summer and meet his girlfriend."
4."I worked with her for years in the same restaurant/hospitality company. We were both in relationships when we met, but the attraction was there. I still think of the night she kissed me at a staff party 17 years ago. When my relationship ended, I thought hers would end soon, too, since they were constantly bickering."
"By the time she became single, I had met the woman who would become my wife. I'm very happy with her, we've been together 15 years, married for 12, and have our first child finally on the way. As for her, she's also in a relationship and has two children herself. But sometimes, I still get that 'what if...' feeling, wondering how things would be different."
5."We’d dated for two years in high school, and after graduation, he met someone else. Told me about it one night, abruptly, no warning, just said that was it, that it was over. I’d thought things were fine. Devastated. He married her, bought a place, had three kids, had a good job, and so did she, and things were clicking for them. I moved with my family from our tiny village to one of the largest metro areas in the nation, and my world opened up."
"Fell in love with the man of my dreams (my hero!), married, and life took off. Came a time we struggled, though, and took a break. Somehow old boyfriend looked me up; he was having his own crisis. Spoke on the phone several times and he wrote; when he started pushing too far, I drew a line. Went back to our spouses, me happily, he comfortably. He sends greetings on the major days; sometimes crosses the line saying he could never forgive himself for letting me go 50 years ago. Grateful he did. Always friends; but it was meant to be this way."
6."I have one of these. I totally messed up, all my fault, let the guy get away. Twenty years later, I think of him occasionally, but what's really awful are the dreams I have where we're still together or where he shows up at my house to tell me he's still in love with me, too. I've woken up a lot of times and cried as a result of the bittersweetness of those dreams."
7."We met right before I graduated high school. We lost contact a few months later but dated several months after that when he got into contact with me. Our relationship was only a few months, and it was hard. During our relationship, he made a comment about us being married, even though I knew he never wanted that. I looked at him as my husband and his daughter as my stepdaughter from that moment on. After we broke up, we had hookups for about a year and a half, but it broke my heart when he'd leave every time."
"I finally blocked him, and eventually, he told me that he had become addicted to a certain 'floury' drug. I told him I couldn't watch the man I loved kill himself because the original one stopped giving him the high he wanted. I blocked him. That was five years ago. I told him if he ever wanted to talk to me again, he'd have to really reach out. He never has. I know he's not good for me; at least the man I knew years ago wasn't. But my heart still longs for him. I'm not in love with him, but I do love him. and I have not allowed myself to contact him. I looked for him on social media a few days ago, and I can't find him. I have no idea if he's still in my city, if he's dead or alive, or what he looks like. I know I miss a memory and that he probably wouldn't be good for me right now still, but I do love him. I love him from a distance. It breaks my heart, but I can't let him hurt me the way he did anymore."
8."I spent years thinking about the one who got away. All the time. What I could have done and if I could ever go back to him. Then I actually met 'the one.' Now I know what it’s like to really be loved and in love. I don’t even think about my ex anymore."
9."He was my first love and was on the Harvard crew team. He was training for the Henley Regatta and had a magic sweater knitted for me with a white H on a burgundy background. I said he should keep it because I couldn’t have a relationship with someone who had practice all the time. Many years later, he sent me FB photos of his island home and his beautiful wife. I tried to look him up and read his obituary instead. He died on November 28, 2023. I called him Pucknik."
10."The only ex I think about with any regularity was the first person I ever truly fell in love with. I was in my early 20s, and it was definitely not a healthy relationship. He was controlling and emotionally abusive. I have no doubts that if I had stayed, the abuse would have turned physical. Knowing all that and knowing how good it was for me to leave doesn't stop him from popping into my head every so often. Through social media, I watched him do the same exact crap to other girls, which always helps remind me the person I had fallen in love with was the masking persona he used; the real person underneath is not worth anyone's time."
11."It’s been ten years since 'the one that got away' for me. He’s the guy that I moved halfway across the country for, and I truly believe that he was a soulmate. I just wish I could go back in time with the knowledge and experience that 40-year-old I has to help 29-year-old me not to mess everything up. I had untreated depression and anxiety at the time, and if those things had been under control, I know things would be a lot different now. At this point, we’re now both remarried to other people; I wish we could at least still be friends but even that feels like a big wish. I hope he hasn’t forgotten about me, and I hope he knows how important he has been in my life."
12."I thought there was something better out there. I left him high and dry. I thought of him for years, and when I finally had the courage to look him up, I found out he had tragically died. I think about him often and look back and count myself lucky to have been so truly loved at such a very young age. He is so very missed. I wish I could’ve told him how much I truly loved him for so many years."
13."I met him in the '80s when I went from the East Coast to the West Coast for my sister’s small home wedding. He was there without his wife as a friend of the groom. The minute we laid eyes on each other there was instant recognition and physical passion even though he was years younger than me. We spent the rest of the evening talking, and I left for the East Coast in the morning. He was married, I was married, and we both were committed to our spouses, but we would finagle ways to spend secret weekends with each other on the East Coast or West Coast."
"I thought about that man every minute for two years, but we had to let the relationship go. Then, 30 years later, I go into my office on a day I’m usually closed, and he knocks on the door! As soon as we saw each other, we both knew the love and passion was still there. We had lunch and talked for hours. I have not seen him again for eight years. I know he was my soulmate in another life."
14."I recently messaged someone I thought was my ex after a decade of not speaking, and they confirmed that I was a great 'friend,' meaning they never saw me as more than that. So the whole time in the past, I thought we were getting together and breaking up, and getting together again was really her way of saying she didn't want it. So getting that confirmation 10 years later just solidified that you don't have to fight/argue/convince someone to like/be with/love you. Someone who does want you will show it. I'm 33 and just learning that lesson and also learning that I actually haven't been liked/loved at all before."
15."My first love was the cousin of my best friend. I was head over heels in love with him, and he was my first. I moved away to go to school, but we saw each other a couple of times when I visited home. It still had the same fireworks. He got me. I got him enough. He was not going to be my forever, especially with being a teenager. However, my life took me into a completely different part of the country, career path and boyfriends. Bizarrely enough, I have been happily married for decades to a man with the same first name, the same sense of humor, and the same overall vibe. My best friend calls him my 'John' 2.0."
16."We were both unhappily married and raising our children. Of all things, we met in an AOL chatroom and lived only three hours away from each other. We chatted for quite some time until we met at a midpoint and agreed to get a hotel room. We were both in sexless marriages and that night, it all changed. We made love for hours until we were both exhausted, sore, and spent."
"We would see each other as often as possible and knew it was more than great sex. We had a lot in common and enjoyed each other's company. We were both very supportive of each other. I even flew with her to San Antonio, Texas, to meet her family and to vacation together. Just the little things felt right, like falling asleep in each other's arms. We were both in the process of getting divorced, but it fell apart. Ten years later, we met up, and the feeling was just as strong. If she would take me back, I would jump through hoops to be with her now."
17."I still have feelings for her. We had been inseparably close almost since birth. There were just four days between us and only two doors apart on the same block. Our parents and grandparents parents were all friends and pretty much lived at each other's houses since our parents worked alternate shifts most of the time. Both our parents divorced while we were in the second grade and married new people a year later, but we were still close."
"She was killed when a drunk driver hit the car she was in two months before we turned 14. Her family refused to let me attend the funeral because they were on the way home from the doctor, who said she was pregnant
They blamed me for her death. But none blamed me more than I did. She would not have been in that car if not for me. Had she lived, we would both be 50 this fall with 35-year-old twins who might have kids."
18."I was a junior, and he was a senior in high school. We were constantly on the phone and saw each other as much as our parents would let us that year. His family moved away after he graduated, and we broke up. We ran into each other a couple of times after that, but we never got back together. We lost touch, and I got married. I thought about how that 17-year-old boy loved me nearly daily during my 20-year marriage. I’m in a wonderfully fulfilling relationship now and realized about six months in that I had completely stopped thinking about my old high school flame."
19."I met the one I thought got away again several times over the years until he, then in his thirties, told me he didn't know what love was. It was an interesting conversation, but it showed me that he was, in fact, unavailable in a very profound way. That was the reason we never properly became a couple. Now I think I'm the one who got away and happy I did."
20."We were never together, but I had the biggest crush on a coworker (bad, I know). We became super close throughout the years to the point where people thought we had something going on. On my last day of work, I wanted to confess my feelings for her since I wasn’t gonna work with her anymore."
"However, shit the fan between us before I could tell her anything. We don’t talk to each other anymore, but we’re on neutral terms. I’m in an amazing relationship today, but I sometimes think about her and hope she’s doing well. We had a lot of great memories together, but that’s all it’ll ever be. I think back and feel like she wasn’t meant to know how I felt about her. I don’t think it was in the cards for her to know, and I’m at peace with that."
21.And finally, "We dated in our early 20s, and then I moved out of town, and the long-distance relationship was too hard for us to overcome. Both of us are now widowed, and he reached out to me through Facebook. 48 years later and in our 70s, we are blissfully engaged, and every day is better than the one before. We are euphoric and still in shock that we found one another again, and it is working out so beautifully."
Do you ever think about "the one who got away"? Tell us your story in the comments!