Safety, sex, social media: What parents should discuss with their teens ahead of spring break trips

Christina Ramirez has fond memories of spring break and summer trips with friends when she was in high school and college. But now that she has two teenage sons, the New Mexico-based mom goes back and forth on whether she would let her kids head off on an unchaperoned vacation. She remembers the “questionable moments” from her own getaways, but realizes there are better ways to keep in contact these days.

“I would probably say yes, but there would be lots of boundaries,” Ramirez, 50, says. “It depends what friends they are going with and where they are staying." She wavers. "Well, I don’t know. I would let my 17-year-old go, but I don’t know about my 15-year-old. If they came to me with a plan I would say yes. I would probably say yes.”

With spring break getting underway for many high school and college students across the country, parents like Ramirez are finding themselves in similar situations. Do they let their child go on that trip? If they do, how do they then prepare them to stay safe so that Mom and Dad don’t worry the entire time?

Courtney Conley, a Maryland-based therapist and wellness expert who specializes in helping youths, says that parents should start by talking to children when they will be most open to listen, maybe during a lazy Saturday at home or during a casual car ride.

“Start off by letting them know that you trust them and hope they have an amazing time but just wanted to share a couple of concerns,” Conley tells Yahoo Life.

Drugs and Alcohol

While drugs and alcohol may not be a part of a child’s everyday life, there’s a pretty good chance that the spring break experience will involve these temptations.

“It’s always best to give them strategies to use instead of just telling them not to do it,” Conley says. “What can they do if they end up in a situation?”

Parents should make sure teens already have Uber or Lyft downloaded on their smartphone and ready to use as a safe alternative to driving drunk. They can also advise them to drink water between alcoholic beverages to stay hydrated and slow down. Conley also recommends letting kids know it’s OK to dump a drink and fill it with water to avoid the pressure of drinking alcohol.

California parents Mary and Ed Ternan say it’s standard to know how one's child will get to the destination, who they are going with and where they’ll stay, but there’s another factor that needs to be discussed.

“Kids ... have a travel plan of where they are going to go, even a wardrobe plan of what they will wear,” Ed Ternan tells Yahoo Life. “Parents need to talk to them about having a party plan, because drugs are so unpredictable these days. Have an open-eyed conversation with plans.”

The couple is speaking from personal experience. In 2020 their 22-year-old son Charlie was three weeks away from graduating college when he took what he thought was a Percocet for back pain. Charlie bought the pill online from an unauthorized distributor. The 6’2, 235-pound brother, son and boyfriend died less than half an hour later.

The Ternans know kids may experiment with drugs on spring break, but they want them to be aware of the dangers so another family is not in the same situation as them.

“The drug landscape has completely changed,” Mary Ternan tells Yahoo Life. “There’s no wiggle room for recreational drugs. One pill can kill you. You are playing Russian roulette.”

“As much as we don't want to use scare tactics, the truth is there are stories in the news daily about young people being assaulted, abducted and accidentally overdosing” Conley adds. “You can highlight a couple examples when discussing how dangerous it can be to accept random pills from people.”

Sex

Meeting new people is bound to happen on spring break, and some of those new friends could get extra, extra close. Sex can be an embarrassing topic for both parents and their kids, but Conley says it's important that a young person have tools to be prepared.

Her advice to teens? “The accountability buddy advice applies here — If we come together, we leave together. Always stay with a friend. Don't leave with someone or go to someone's room alone. Check in with yourself before going out. Will you feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed if you hook up with someone? Above all, leave."

If they think there's a chance kids may be sexually active during their trip, parents may also find it worthwhile to discuss or provide contraception, just as a precaution.

Basic Safety

Several hot spots, from Miami to New Smyrna Beach, have a bigger police presence after rowdy crowds overtook during spring break last year. Miami Beach officials implemented a curfew this year after two fatal shootings earlier this month.

Paula Twindale, senior VP of travel for AAA, says knowing details not just about the location where a child is going but also what is nearby is key. Parents should do the research beforehand and find out what is in the surrounding areas, especially in popular spring break destinations that are outside the U.S.

“Generally a lot of resorts are not in the best parts of town,” Twindale says. “Advise your child to stay on the resort. It’s spring break, enjoy what is at the resort.”

If a child is going overseas, parents can register them for STEP, the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program. This free service allows U.S. citizens traveling abroad to enroll their trip with the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate. In addition to this, Twindale also recommends that travelers take a copy of their important documents (such as their passport, travel insurance paperwork, driver's license, credit cards, etc.) and leave another copy at home in the event of an emergency.

Packing a basic emergency kit with Tylenol, vitamin C and Band-Aids is helpful, as is following simple precautions like not going to places alone and not carrying large sums of cash.

“They need to pay attention to their surroundings and not have a false sense of security,” Twindale says. “Be like the Marines: Don’t leave anyone behind. Go places in groups.”

Twindale has witnessed teens and young adults have a false sense of security on the beach. They will “hide” their wallet or cell phone under a beach towel, go for a walk, play in the ocean and come back to find their valuables stolen.

“Putting your stuff under your towel is a simple thing, but it can wreak havoc on your vacation if you lose your cell phone or your wallet,” Twindale says.

One other essential: Making sure smartphones are fully charged when possible. A portable travel charger can help ensure that kids aren't out and about with a drained battery, should they need to get help, find their friends, use a map or be reached for any reason.

Social Media

Plenty of Instagram-worthy photos and TikTok videos will be taken during spring break. But not all of that footage should be shared online, notes Erin Walsh, author, educator and founder of Spark & Stitch Institute, which uses brain science to help in parenting issues.

“What’s tempting is to say 'don’t do this, this and this. 'Kids may or may not be listening and say goodbye,” Walsh tells Yahoo Life. “Engage kids as much as possible in their critical thinking. If I want to take a picture and post it then I’m going to take three deep breathes and think about the audiences who may see it.”

She suggests parents play out situations with their child. What happens if a friend tags them in a video? What if they see someone taking their photo? What if someone wants to connect with them on social media? Consider the safety implications (especially if their posts list their location or geotagging), and what's appropriate to share publicly — which may not include, say, videos of keg stands or provocative poses in their swimsuits.

Parents should also be transparent about what sort of monitoring they plan to do while their kid is away.

“Generally tracking every move is a not a good idea, but a trip like this may need some special modifications,” Walsh says. “Some parents will say, ‘Well, they are just going to turn off [their smartphone].' If they will be on deception mode, they shouldn’t be going. If a teen can’t have an honest and open conversation around safety and tech they may not be ready for a trip like this.”

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