A Shared Passion for Gardening Has Brought Four Generations of This Family Closer Together
Ashleigh Byrne radiates a quiet confidence that is the result of lifetimes spent in the garden: she learned to garden from her father, who learned from his father. Today, her Georgia garden overflows with vegetables, herbs, and flowers, which she blogs about on Whisk Grow Home. But for Byrne, gardening is more than an outdoor activity; it's a joyful celebration of family, from treasured heirloom plants to meaningful memories, that has shaped how she connects with those she loves. And now, she's passing on that familial passion for gardening to her own small children.
Courtesy of Ashleigh Byrne
Generations of Gardeners
Richard Adams, Byrne's grandfather, began growing vegetables when his wife expressed a desire for fresh tomatoes. He eventually traded them for a Japanese-inspired garden that would comprise more than 300 varieties of dwarf conifers, 30 types of hostas, Japanese maples, ornamental grasses, and mosses. The meticulously crafted landscape has hosted family weddings and informal gatherings over the years, and is a beloved space for bonding with his kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids.
"My grandfather was always outside," says Byrne about the 92-year-old. She pictures him when he was younger: Syracuse sweatshirt, jeans, sneakers, baseball cap, and cigar, while he was "walking around the yard, tending to his plants." Trade the cigar for a cup of coffee, and that's Byrne, who also loves spending as much time as possible in her garden. It's something she learned from her dad, who inherited the daily ritual of gardening from his father.
Gardening as a Daily Family Ritual
For Byrne's grandfather Richard, spending time outdoors was inherent to how his family lived, so gardening and other outdoor activities was an integral part of their daily lives. His son, John (Byrne's father), created the same atmosphere with his children. In this way, developing and passing on gardening skills from parent to child was something that happened organically, as time spent in the garden picking blueberries, thinning beds, or picking off pests was something they did every day; it was family time rather than a chore.
Byrne credits this no-pressure environment and constant exposure, as well as her dad's infectious enthusiasm, for her own gardening skills. It wasn't something she actively set out to learn, just something she absorbed during time spent with her dad and grandfather. Now she and her husband are creating the same welcoming spaces and routines in their own garden for their kids.
"In the afternoons, if the weather is nice we're out there. They're playing and I'm in the garden weeding, trimming plants," says Byrne, who follows her dad's approach of making the garden available but not forcing it on her children. Whenever he visited, he did the same, encouraging the kids to dig in beside him when turning over beds for a new season or trimming back burgeoning growth.
It's definitely working. Byrne's two children requested that a flower bed be added to their playhouse adjacent to the garden. Her son Charlie, 3, takes after his great-grandfather with his interest in pruning, while Caroline, 6, recently gathered and prepared her own salad for dinner, much like her grandad.
Fueling Family Time with Homegrown Food
A willingness and determination to learn from mistakes are what Byrne believes helped her grandfather succeed in his garden. That same tenacious attitude helped her father gain his own gardening expertise, and it's integral to how Byrne approaches new plants and techniques, too. She finds that expecting trial and error helps make gardening more fun than intimidating.
Byrne's dad, John Adams, put his own spin on gardening, preferring to grow vegetables and fruits rather than his dad's conifers and hostas. Like his mother, John had a passion for tomatoes. They became his specialty, his passion and experience turning him into an encyclopedic resource on everything from starting seeds to harvesting, and the marinara sauce he made with the bounty was as much a family tradition as his bottomless encouragement and advice for helping his children also grow tomatoes.
From community plots to her own backyard beds, Byrne has grown multiple varieties of tomatoes. In fact, edible gardens have a supporting role in another tradition: family dinners. "Both my parents instilled in us a love of using what's in season," says Byrne, recalling frequently having fresh lettuce salads with dinner, something that makes her daughter Caroline's salad request all the more meaningful. They were always incorporating what they grew into what they ate, and the evening meals together, as well as a big Sunday dinner, were a staple of her childhood. Byrne continues these habits with her kids because, like afternoons together in the garden, having dinner and cooking together are simple ways to make time for family.
Especially through grieving, being out in the garden has been sad but also therapeutic.
—AShleigh Byrne
Finding Joy in the Soil
Byrne's father passed away unexpectedly last summer. Despite the immense loss and sadness the family still feels, his presence in their gardens is a comfort, too. "Especially through grieving, being out in the garden has been sad but also therapeutic," says Byrne. "I think about all the things he taught me, and it's something that makes me feel connected to him. At the end of the day, it makes me feel happy."
If the Adams family tree had a species, it might be the Japanese maple, a stunning tree that Byrne's grandfather grew, and also grew at her childhood home. When Byrne moved into her first house, her dad propagated a Japanese maple from his home and planted it next to her house. Ten years later, it's still there as a living celebration of her family, whose branches provide a canopy her children love to play under and will hopefully look back on with fond memories, maybe even as they work in their own gardens with their families.