Ryan Reynolds reflects on battle with anxiety: 'I would think to myself, 'I'm gonna die'

Ryan Reynolds is known for being an action hero on screen. But it turns out some of the biggest challenges the actor has battled are in his head.

Reynolds, 45, spoke with CBS Sunday Morning about his mental health struggles, which have included crushing bouts of anxiety in the past.

"I've had anxiety my whole life, really. I feel like I have two parts of my personality. One takes over when that happens," he explained.

Reynolds went on to share how, when appearing on a talk show, he'd be consumed by fear and anxiety so severe that he thought he would throw up on stage.

"When I would go out on like, Letterman, back in the day, I would always be nervous. I remember I'd be standing backstage before the curtain would open, and I would think to myself, 'I'm gonna die. I'm literally gonna die here,'" he recalled. "The curtain's gonna open, and I'm just going to be a symphony of vomit. Something horrible's going to happen.' But as soon as that curtain opens, and this happens in my work a lot too, it's like this little guy takes over, and he's like, 'I got this. You're cool."'

Reynolds says he felt better once he felt "his heart rate drop, and my breathing calm, and I just kind of go out, and I'm this different person. And I leave that interview going, 'God, I'd like to be that guy.'"

That level of stress is something Reynolds has dealt with his entire life. Growing up in Canada, things were tense around the house. He described his dad, a police officer, as a "skin-covered landmine."

"I don't want to paint this picture that it was this, like, horrible place to grow up. But it was very tense," he said. Now, Reynolds attributes that level of stress to one of the reasons why he's "perceptive" and good at his job. "I watch carefully for danger, and as an adult, that can really come in handy."

Reynolds had the opportunity to reflect on his childhood in his latest film, Netflix's The Adam Project, which he also produces. He portrays a time-traveling fighter pilot from the future who meets his 12-year-old self. Looking back, the star says the younger version of himself would be pleased with where he ended up in adulthood.

"I think my 12-year-old self would be proud of me because I do this thing in a way that has some integrity, I like to think," said Reynolds, who has three daughters with wife Blake Lively. "A 12-year-old would look at where I'm at and [think], 'you're doing alright,' I think."

One component of his mission to live with integrity is in his work off-screen. On Saturday, the Free Guy star announced that he and Lively have pledged to match up to $1 million in aid to displaced Ukrainians. Over 368,000 Ukrainian refugees have fled to neighboring countries, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees said in a tweet on Sunday morning.

"In 48 hours, countless Ukrainians were forced to flee their homes to neighboring countries. They need protection. When you donate, we’ll match it up to $1,000,000, creating double the support," Reynolds said in a retweet of the USA for UNHCR account.

Lively echoed her husband's sentiments on Instagram.

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