The royal wedding was the perfect blend of the best of Anglo-American traditions

Windsor Castle may be the most iconic British backdrop for a wedding, but Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s ceremony at St George’s Chapel in the castle grounds on Saturday had striking American elements that represented a sharp departure from English, much less royal, weddings. 

In the United States, there are few hard and fast rules, but customs such as rehearsal dinners (when the bride typically makes remarks), after parties, and unconventional readings are common.

Meghan Markle’s first wedding in 2011 to Hollywood talent manager Trevor Engelson in Jamaica followed the “destination wedding” trend. For Americans this week, Windsor was a destination wedding.

The congregation of 600 was more diverse than is typical for the top tier of British society. In line with modern millennial weddings, it was dominated by Harry and Meghan’s friends, from Amal and George Clooney to Oprah Winfrey.

Since it wasn’t a state occasion like the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, they had the luxury of eliminating the obligatory diplomats, politicians, distant continental royal relations, and even many relatively close British royals.

The Markles may have come to town, en masse, but after dizzying u-turns this week, the bride’s family presence was limited to her mother, Doria Ragland who, in a dramatic departure from both English and American custom, was driven to Windsor Castle with her daughter before the bride – whose Givenchy gown reminded me of classic Jackie Kennedy, arresting in its simplicity – started her walk down the blue carpet of the 255-foot-long aisle, alone. 

This was the first royal wedding in St. George’s Chapel of a divorcee with a living former husband, to whom Meghan was married for just two years. She was baptized and confirmed as an Anglican in a private service in the Chapel Royal at St. James’s Palace this past March, so she could fully participate in a Church of England service. 

Presiding over the ceremony was The Rt. Revd. David Conner, the Dean of Windsor, and the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, who officiated the couple’s marriage vows. They were joined by The Most Revd. Michael Bruce Curry, the first African-American Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church in the US.

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Although he was previously unknown to Meghan, she invited him to give an American flavor to the day’s solemnity by delivering the sermon. An outspoken advocate for gay marriage, Bishop Curry is known for the liveliness of his oratory and he gave a tub-thumping Evangelical speech that probably took some in the chapel aback with its passion. People sometimes call the Episcopalian church in the US the “Frozen Chosen”, but he was anything but.

A strong military presence reflected Harry’s ten years in the armed forces and commitment to veterans in his charitable work. Household Cavalry troopers, with their flashing swords and gleaming helmets, lined the staircase from the West Door, in effect serving as Harry’s Guard of Honour.

Other soldiers lining the streets included the Irish Guards and the Royal Marines as well as the Army Air Corps, the Royal Air Force, and the Royal Gurkha Rifles, who served with him in Afghanistan. 

Former and serving officers in his Blues and Royals regiment typically don’t wear their uniforms at their own weddings, but Harry and William both wore the frock coats of field officers – so elegant – and permissible under the Household Division, as they are second order of dress after the tunic, like the scarlet one worn by Prince William, the honorary colonel of the Irish Guards, at his wedding to Kate Middleton in 2011; Prince Charles did the same with his Welsh Guards uniform when he married Lady Diana Spencer in 1981. 

A singularly upper class English feature of Harry and Meghan’s day was the wedding party of young girls as bridesmaids and boys as pages, with no adult maid of honor.

William served as his brother’s best man, but also in keeping with English custom, no groomsmen participated in the wedding service, although ushers will assist guests. 

When I organized my daughter’s London wedding to a British army officer nine years ago, we followed English traditions in nearly all respects, including a Guard of Honour consisting of eight soldiers who had served with him in Afghanistan.

In keeping with American custom, my daughter had a Maid of Honor and six more friends as bridesmaids rather than the flock of children. But we couldn’t resist including two page boys aged four and six who wore child-sized dress uniforms of her husband’s regiment.

The invitation for Harry and Meghan’s nuptials specified that male guests wear “dress uniform, morning coat, or lounge suit” – a puzzling term for Americans that translated to a standard business suit. Women were instructed to wear “Day Dress with Hat.” There is nothing so specifically English as hats or fascinators – hair accessories with striking features such as feathers, veils, brims, flowers, and shimmering fabric attached to headbands or combs.

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Katharine Goodison, a London milliner who has worked with private clients for more than 30 years, says, “for most American weddings, hats are rare, and if you wear a hat in Spain or Italy the message is something is wrong with your hair and you are hiding it.” Meghan’s Hollywood friends turned up in their own couture versions of the “Day Dress” finished with eye-catching hats. 

In numerous ways Meghan put her distinctive American stamp on her wedding to Harry. In the 20th century, the monarch would give a ball at Buckingham Palace on an evening before the nuptials. (Two days before the marriage of the current Queen, her father, King George VI, led a conga line through the State Rooms of the Palace).

Nothing that elaborate was planned for Harry, who is now sixth in the royal succession and unlikely to be monarch. But Meghan hosted a party for Americans, including a group of friends from her undergraduate days at Northwestern University.  

The order of service was a uniquely Anglo-American blend. Prince Charles helped select the music, as he did for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Their theme was “English pastoral,” so the Prince of Wales advised them to use three pieces by his favorite English composer, Hubert Parry.

The English conductor Christopher Warren-Green, an old friend of the Prince of Wales, was at the podium. He did the conducting honours at Charles’s wedding to Camilla as well as the wedding of William and Kate.

But he, too, has an American slant, having served as the music director of the Charlotte symphony in North Carolina since 2009. This time around, Meghan’s influence can be seen in her choice of a British gospel group, The Kingdom Choir – a first for St. George’s chapel – whose stunning rendition of Ben E King’s 1961 classic, Stand By Me ended with a rousing chorus of the spiritual “Amen” (complete with clapping).

After the crowd-pleasing two-mile carriage ride through the town of Windsor and the famous Long Walk leading to the castle, the newlywed couple joined the reception hosted by the Queen in St. George’s Hall. Royal tradition used to call for a “wedding breakfast,” which was really a seated luncheon.

William and Kate broke that mould by having a lunchtime champagne reception with hot and cold canapés. Harry and Meghan did the same – with the addition of more hearty “bowl food,” keeping in mind all the hungry soldiers at the gathering. 

Meghan also added one touch courtesy of her native California. Instead of the classic English fruitcake (an acquired taste for Americans), the wedding cake was a lemon elderflower with buttercream frosting decorated with fresh flowers. All the guests at the wedding service attended the reception, which was wrapped up by mid-afternoon.

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At 7pm, a select group of 200 returned to the Windsor Castle environs for an elaborate party in a large marquee next to Frogmore, the white 17th century royal residence in the private Home Park. Prince Charles was the host, the new Duchess of Sussex gave a speech, and the revelry lasted into the wee hours.  

For their first night as husband and wife, the royal couple stayed with his grandparents at Windsor Castle. It may not have been traditional, but it was sweet nonetheless. 

Sally Bedell Smith is the author of Charles: The Misunderstood Prince (Michael Joseph)