"It's Impractical AF:" People Are Sharing Things They Tried During Sex But Ended Up Hating, And I Can't Stop Laughing At Some Of These

Have you ever tried something new in bed but it went awry? Maybe your partner asked you to experiment with a new position or adding in a toy to spice things up but neither one of you actually liked it.

NBC / Via giphy.com

Reddit user u/Poes_ asked the question, "What have you tried during sex that failed miserably?" and based on the many responses, a lot of people have experienced some bedroom fails.

1."My girlfriend wanted to try whipped cream in bed, but she bought the chocolate kind. Kinda fun but not great and the sheets told a very different story from what actually went down."

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—u/Bfd83

2."Standing 69. Turns out that my lower back really didn't like that idea and went pop — it was more of a really loud crack sound, like a branch snapping. I flopped down in pain and my poor girlfriend landed on her head. 25 years later I still have back problems."

—u/UnfinishedThings

3."She said her fetish was The Rock. Unfortunately, I could not be The Rock."

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—u/SockFullOfPennies

4."My ex-wife wanted me to choke her while doing doggy style. She refused to move forward so I wasn't perched on the edge of the bed. I did my best. After about 30 seconds, my planted leg slipped off of the bed and my fingers were interlocked. Basically, I accidentally put her in the wrestler Iron Sheik's camel clutch move. There was no belt won that night."

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—u/EnwardJim

5."She wanted to surprise me by sucking my toes — I reflexively kicked her in the head."

—u/BoogieBoardButtPound

6."She wanted me to keep my suit on, tie and everything. I really didn’t enjoy it, at all. The suit got ruined."

7."I made the Scooby Doo voice while giving my wife anal. It immediately stopped."

—u/K-mart667

8."Had her lick my asshole once. Turns out I'm VERY ticklish there and couldn't stop laughing until after she stopped."

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—u/Akiram

9."Anal. She told me to stick my pinky up her ass and so I did (gently) and she cried."

—u/crimsoninthenight

10."Once my boyfriend requested that I let him 'titty f*ck' me. I tried but they were too small and it was awkward. Never again."

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—u/araknay

11."I used to date a woman whose dad used to terrify me. One day we decided to bust out the cuffs. Her parents were at work so it was perfect timing. She cuffed me to her bed and we cracked on. 10 minutes in we hear the front door open and my heart drops. I know it’s him, I can hear his distinctive stomping around the house."

"At this rate I’m freaking out. I’m telling her to un-cuff me while panicking, meanwhile she’s finding it funny and laughing. Then we hear him coming up the stairs, at this point she’s starting to panic. She couldn’t find the key, so she decided it’s best to meet her dad on the landing to deter him. She throws a dressing gown on and closes the door behind her. I hear them talking on the landing, saying he heard a lad talking and wondered who it was.

Meanwhile I’m still here cuffed up looking like a naked mole rat from fallout. At this point I’ve acknowledged that her dad is gonna come into her room, see me tied up there while naked. I accepted this was the end for me. Then I hear 'Well I’ve come back to grab my lunch, I’ll see you later tonight.' The relief was sensational. Mentally scarred, never used cuffs since and I’m 26 living with my current girlfriend."

—u/Gulviq

12."Sex in a hot tub. It seems like it’s going to be super hot at first but it ends up being extremely exhausting. You forget water creates a lot of resistance. Better to start foreplay in there and move to somewhere else."

13."Telling a man where my clit was. He was so sure he knew, and every time I moved his hand he thought I was trying to move it away from my clit. Oh honey, no."

—u/waltsworld15

14."Having sex while standing. Holding the woman up looks cool but is impractical AF. It’s too exhausting for both to keep it going longer than a couple of minutes."

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—u/loztriforce

15."Dirty talk. He asked me if I'd like to get naked with him and I accidentally said, 'As long as you aren't my dad!' We were the same age. I don't know who was more embarrassed but it was all over from there."

—u/KatPrincess88

16."I once thought it would be hot if I put Nutella on my dick because we had recently tried the whipped cream stuff. It was not the same."

17."Holding in a fart while getting head. It came out loud and a little high-pitched. I felt so bad for her but she couldn’t stop laughing. I took her out to dinner instead. All in all it worked out, I guess."

—u/grangry

18."Shower sex while drunk. I tried to grab the water and fell out of the shower wrapped in the shower curtain."

19."Warming lube. It felt like my regions were on fire and I had to jump out of bed, waddle to the bathroom, and wash it all off. Do not recommend."

—u/RitalinNZ

20."Making jokes. She told me to suck her nipples and I said, 'But I'm lactose intolerant!'"

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—u/TheDoctorShekel

21."Rose petals on the bed. Nothing like picking rolled up flowers off your ass after doing the deed."

—u/Salty-Technology8912

22."Shower sex. Not romantic at all. Instead it’s clumsy and uncomfortable and one is almost drowning because water in face."

23."Decided to throw my woman on the bed to be sexy, she hit her head on the nightstand and started crying. Never finished faster."

—u/InfectedP0tato

24."Satin sheets. Looks awesome and romantic in movies, but in reality you just slide off the bed, someone hits their head on something, and you both realize that you’ve been lied to all your life."

25."Candy underwear. It’s all fun and games until you bite a piece off and the stretchy string snaps something it shouldn’t."

—u/melloyello87

26."Candles in the bath. It had to come to a stop when I saw smoke and smelt burning hair."

27."I had an ex who got mad at me for not knowing how to use a vibrator on her. I was a 20-year-old dude who had never used one before. I really tried to understand what she wanted me to do and I kept trying to follow what she was saying but she just kept getting more and more frustrated until she was just screaming at me."

"She slept on the couch that night and I broke up with her a week later."

—u/TheSahsBahs

28."Pulling out. My son is 10 years old now."

—u/Smitty_Werbnjagr

Have you ever tried something new in bed and it was a total fail? Tell me about it in the comments below!