People Are Sharing Their Pettiest Revenge Stories, And They're Sooooo Freaking Messy (But Satisfying)
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the wildest, funniest, or most satisfying ways they've ever gotten petty revenge on someone. Here are the best results.
1."My boyfriend cheated on me, so I sprayed weed killer on his lawn to spell out the word 'dick.' That way, anyone who drove by would know exactly what kind of person lived there."
—Kate Alexandra Winder, Facebook
2."A girl who was always mean to me in school was very obviously cheating off of me during an exam, so I filled out my test with all of the wrong answers and made it easier for her to see my paper. After she turned in her test, I 'checked my answers' and erased the wrong ones and put in my real answers. She was quite surprised to receive a zero on the final, whereas I got an A."
3."I once had a colleague who I hated (he was very condescending and arrogant), so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer. I connected it to a mouse, which I kept in my drawer. I'd often open my drawer and mess around with his mouse for fun. I kept it going for, like, two months."
—Anonymous
4."My ex cheated on me with a married man. I still had the log-in info for her DVR back when this happened, so I logged in, erased all her shows, and then recorded only the show Cheaters. Petty, but it still makes me laugh."
5."When I was in second grade, I tied for best spelling test with this girl who always picked on me. She was absent when we got to choose our prizes. I picked a nice-looking folder with lipstick and makeup on it, and I told the teacher that I knew my nemesis would love the one with an ugly-ass clown on it. The look on her face when she saw that hideous thing gave me so much satisfaction. That was 25 years ago, and it’s still one of my proudest petty moments."
6."I had a boss about eight years ago whom I hated. She was the fakest and most entitled person I had ever met. One day, she randomly decided that she no longer liked the smell of microwaved popcorn, so she waved her magic office wand and had it completely banned. Fast-forward a month or so, and I was browsing Amazon and found one of those USB sticks that emits a smell when plugged in. The smell was of buttered popcorn. I bought it, plugged it into the back of her computer, and she had that smell in her office for six freaking months. She complained almost every day. It’s the sweetest revenge I’ve ever tasted."
7."I have a friend who would put up a pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway each year, but it'd always get run over by the neighborhood jerk. My friend finally decided to put a stop to it. He spent several hundred dollars on the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of concrete. He then filled that puppy up and made a really pretty display. Our jerk neighbor broke the axle of his car when he hit that pumpkin. He couldn't drive away, so my friend then got his car towed."
8."My company has a password policy that locks your account after three incorrect attempts. When one of my really annoying coworkers irritates me, I'll sometimes lock my own computer, switch users, and then enter their username with a wrong password three times so they get locked out. That way they'll have to deal with our IT team to unlock their account each time."
9."I wear hearing aids, and when I was in high school a girl in my math class made fun of me for them. I'd never even said two words to her — I gave her no reason to do it. So I used my phone to record her mocking my hearing loss, and I sent it to her parents. They immediately took back the new car they had just bought her and returned it to the dealership."
—Anonymous
10."When I was in law school, I went to a bar with a bunch of classmates and decided I wanted a cigarette. I went outside, and a whole bunch of women were smoking. I don’t like to bum cigarettes, but I had a free small fry coupon from McDonald’s, so I thought a trade would be fair. I offered it to a woman in return for a cigarette, and she said okay. I handed it to her, and then she wouldn’t give me the cigarette! She said, 'You shouldn’t be so trusting.' Flash-forward a few months, and I’m the head graduate assistant for an IT division in our university, which includes administration. I went up to replace a computer and saw the same women. She was waiting in line for a job interview. I went up to the person who was conducting the interviews and told them the story. She didn’t get the job."
11."Back in the early '90s, supermarket cashiers had to type every price in by hand. I was at a Vons in San Diego back then, walking toward the only open checkout stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand. Suddenly, this hoity-toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off. 'I'm in a hurry,' she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I'd been born. I looked at the cashier, and he rolled his eyes and got to work. Five minutes later, the rude lady walked out the door, and it was my turn to check out. 'You're good,' said the cashier. 'I put your soda on her tab.' That felt good."
12."My ex-boyfriend used to always eat my food. As soon as the waiter would bring it out, he'd say, 'Oh, that looks good!' And then he'd take a bite before I could even touch it. One night we were drunk and went to 7-Eleven. He got one of their blueberry pies. He opened it when we got home, and I said, 'Let me have a little bite.' I shoved the entire thing into my mouth, and he looked like he was going to cry."
13."I found out my ex cheated on me while I was away, taking care of my dying grandmother. He was colorblind to reds and pinks. He also insisted that I do his laundry because I 'was better at it.' So, I took all of his white shirts and washed them with a single red shirt of mine. He couldn’t differentiate between the white and the light pink. He probably deserved worse."
—Tessa Meeks-Guthrie, Facebook
14."I had a neighbor who never picked up their dog's poop while on walks. The dog would always poop on my side of the yard, right next to my doorstep. I nicely told my neighbor several times to pick it up, but she refused. It got worse when I was pregnant, and I got fed up, so I wrapped a plastic bag around my hands, picked up all the poop from the week, and fiercely threw it at her doorstep while threatening to call animal control. She moved out a week later."
—Mercy Antony, Facebook
15."At my old job, someone was opening my pay stubs every week in the interoffice mail stack. I knew who it was, but I couldn't prove it. So I left a glitter bomb in the same type of envelope and left it with the stack of everyone's paystubs before she got there. When I walked into work one day, there was pink glitter throughout the entire office because she couldn't get it all cleaned up in time. I simply gave her a knowing look. None of my things were ever touched again."
16."When I was in kindergarten, I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom. She said no. I got really angry that she infringed on my right to use the toilet, so I peed myself on purpose and acted all apologetic so that I could watch her clean it up. For the rest of the year, I got to go to the bathroom whenever I wanted."
17.And finally, this wild ride: "Long story short, my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with four different guys in the same week. To get my petty revenge, I slept with her sister and her mom on separate occasions."
Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.
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