People Are Sharing Small Changes They Made That Improved Their Relationship With Their Partner
Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us something either they or their partner does that has improved their relationship. Here's what they had to say.
Showtime
1."Separate blankets. GAME changer.
"I am a very cold sleeper, and I move around a lot. My husband is a furnace and lays on his back the whole night. Now, we each get to be comfortable and don't wake the other up all the time."
"We sleep in the same bed, but we have our own duvets (Star Wars for him, polka dots for me!). No one hogging the covers. We sleep so much better."
—anonymous
2."We watch television apart. He likes shows that are more actiony, and he thinks the shows I watch are boring, so we give up the remote to each other sometimes. We also have a TV in another room just for this reason."
—Patricia W.
3."If you can, I highly recommend separate bathrooms.
"I used to get so frustrated because he would leave his shavings around the bathroom sink and wouldn’t change the toilet paper roll. Now that we have separate bathrooms, I don’t have to look at his mess. He has actually gotten neater because of it. Also, we never have to squabble over who gets to use the bathroom to get ready in the morning."
—anonymous
20th Television
4."We have separate bank accounts.
"My partner and I have a mortgage together, but we have a joint account that we each put an amount into to cover joint bills — everything else is separate."
"Married 35 years. Split our bank accounts 22 years ago."
5."My husband and I have separate Spotify accounts. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing, but now I can listen to whatever trash I want without worrying I'll mess up his algorithm."
—Em C.
6."My husband and I used to get into arguments over misunderstandings all the time. He grew up in a family that never discussed issues, and my family over-explained everything. So we decided to start asking for clarification before things escalated into a fight.
"Something as simple as: 'So what I'm hearing you say is (....), is that right?' It has literally stopped unnecessary stress, and we understand each other so much better."
—anonymous
CBC
7."My wife has chronic fatigue that we only recently discovered. As a way to make things a little easier for her, I always ask where her energy levels are at, between 1 and 10.
"If she has an 8 day, we can do something with friends or make multiple stops while we are out. If she has a 2 day, it's usually time to just cuddle up on the couch and eat some good food."
—anonymous
8."I recently went to a concert by myself without my wife. She doesn't like the band, so I didn't want to force her to go with me, but I also didn't want to keep checking over during the concert to make sure she was having an okay time.
"We both got some separate 'me time.' It's okay to spend time apart. Plus, it's cheaper because you only have to buy one ticket."
—Jess C.
9."My spouse and I have a rule: Nobody is psychic.
"Meaning, if you have a need or want, or something is wrong, tell the other person. Otherwise, they won't know, and they can't be helped."
NBCUniversal Television Distribution
10."We schedule non-negotiable date nights so we prioritize each other."
—anonymous
11."Early on when we were dating, we got high together at his place, and it was a game changer.
"We had hooked up only once beforehand, so our second time ever having sex with each other was out of this world. Weed really heightens every sensation, and we knew in that moment that this was special. Two years later, the sex is still amazing, be it high or sober!"
Dirty Hit
12."We set the whole next week’s dinner menu every weekend.
"No more 'what should we have for dinner?' and less dining out. We waste less food because we have a plan to cook and eat everything we buy when we go grocery shopping. Grocery shopping takes less time. As the kids get older, they can cook meals because they know what to make. We've been married for 22 years, and have been doing this for at least 10. It’s been great."
—anonymous
13."We say 'please' and 'thank you' for everything, even small things.
"It keeps us both feeling appreciated and noticed. People tend to forget this after being together for a while, but it’s become a habit, and it’s just so much more pleasant at home. We've been married for 9 years, and together for 18."
—anonymous
CBS
14."Admitting when I’m wrong — I’m as stubborn as they come, whereas my partner isn’t. In past relationships, I’ve sat and pouted in a grumpy mood rather than admitting I was wrong.
"By being honest with myself and my partner, we’re able to *complete* the argument, so to speak, and move on from it without bad feelings. It means we’re spending less time being in a mood with one another, and because we’ve established that level of trust, it's meant that we’re generally more open about our feelings, too."
"My husband has really helped me to admit when I'm wrong, and I feel like it's improved so many of the other relationships in my life as well (family, friends, coworkers, etc.). Being able to admit you're wrong and take accountability for your actions is a powerful thing! It saves so much time and effort because now I'm not trying to defend my actions (that were wrong) and not having to come up with excuses."
Netflix
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.