People Revealed What It's Like Having Sex Workers As Parents, And Their Stories Are Eye-Opening
Reddit user u/ameen__shaikh asked the community: "Children of sex workers, how did you find out your mom or dad was a sex worker?"
People didn't hold anything back and revealed what it was really like being raised by a parent who was a sex worker. Their stories ranged from very intense to pretty tame, illustrating both sides of the story.
So, here are some of their stories:
Note: Some submissions include topics of domestic violence and child abuse. Please proceed with caution.
1."My mom was a stripper trying to raise four kids. She would work nights, and I would see 'strange' outfits and shoes in her closet and her 'work bag.' Everything smelled strongly of cigarettes. I watched the movie Independence Day where Will Smith's wife was an exotic dancer, and I somehow figured out what that was. One morning my mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table together eating breakfast. I was in fourth grade, and I asked her what her job was. She looked at me funny and I continued by asking her if she was a stripper. She asked my why I thought that, and I explained everything I listed above."
"She then confirmed my suspicions and thought my dad (her ex-husband) spilled the beans to me. I assured her that was not the case, and she asked me never to tell my three brothers. I never did.
She eventually got out of this line of work and is now successful elsewhere. I’m proud of her, and although I used to resent her for some of her choices, I understand now she did what she could to do to take care of her kids."
2."My mom somehow had heaps of money before I was born, but had 'no work history.' She had an older gentleman 'friend' buy her a house after my parents split. I finally got curious one day as a teen and asked if she was a sex worker (as it was the only thing that explained all of this). She flipped out at me for 'finding out' and went apeshit at my dad for 'telling me.' He didn't — he was actually horrified I figured it out because the agreement between my parents was that I was to never know."
"This was 17 years ago, and our relationship is still strained because she thinks I'm judging her and that I think I'm better than her (when I really don't care that she used to be a sex worker).
Apparently one time she got drunk and called my grandmother (on my dad's side) when she was still with my dad and emotionally abused her for 'judging her' as well. My grandmother had no idea about my mom's profession."
3."My mom wasn’t in sex work anymore when I was born, but she raised my older brother on money she got as a stripper (she worked customer service jobs my entire life). When I was around eight years old, I went to go do something on the family computer and I saw a Facebook message she sent to her friend referencing her days as a 'dancer.' I was super excited upon reading this and confronted my mom thinking she was a ballerina or something. She explained to me (in the most age-appropriate terms she could) that she was a stripper. Of course she didn’t go into all the details until I was older."
4."My dad straight-up told me he was a 'gigolo' in Denver in the '80s. He had moved out there to get away from an abusive home life when he turned 18, and found that that was the best way to make ends meet."
5."My mother has a 'typical' mail-order bride story. She started working as a child — my dad was good to her at the start, but his gambling addiction took over and he forced her back into it. My younger half-siblings came after all that, so they never witnessed it themselves. She had a lot of issues not stemming from sex work itself, but conditions that led her there. It just kinda clicked for me randomly one day as a teen. I never did question the rotating boyfriends my mom had in my life (despite being married to my dad the whole time) and the big wads of cash. You get used to it if it's the only thing you know."
"My siblings found out as teens through me — they wanted me to explain why my mom became so anti-sex."
6."My aunt drunkenly told me that my mom was a stripper one night and not a FedEx driver as she had told me. She traveled a lot (apparently she was a hot commodity) and would tell me that she was staying with her friend when she had to work because she lived closer to work. As a child I had no reason to not believe my mom. I was 14 when my aunt told me after my mom had just quit and got a job as a secretary. I wasn't upset by it — I was actually kind of proud that she was a traveling stripper and she brought in a lot of 'customers.' My mom was LIVID my aunt told me, though."
7."Not my mother, but a classmate of mine. When I was in eighth grade, the guys used to pass around porn on VHS tapes. They thought they were James Bond-level stealthy using VHS tapes instead of the internet. Well, a new kid moved to town and threw a house party — everyone was having a good time until his mother walked in the room. Every single dude was losing his mind, and every single girl was beyond confused as to why. Two of her scenes made it onto those VHS tapes and they all recognized her. Shockingly they kept it quiet for a while until one dude told his girlfriend who told the girl dating the new kid and it blew up. The new kid and his younger sister were removed from school and sent to another private school the next state over."
8."My mom called me and asked because I was 'internet savvy' if I could help her set up an OnlyFans. This happened maybe two weeks ago — she technically isn't a sex worker now, but she wants my assistance in becoming one. Apparantly she voiced the idea to my brother, and he told her I could TOTALLY set her up. I know AAAAAALLLLL about that stuff — she called me and asked with complete sincerity."
9."I had a friend who found out his mom ran an escort service out of their house when we were in seventh grade. We all used to like to stay at his house on weekends because his mom was super hot, a total partier, and let us do whatever we wanted. Late one night we thought it would be funny to call escort services from the phone book (kind of a Risky Business thing, I guess). This was around 1985. Anyway, living in a pretty small town, there were only half a dozen people to call. So we started calling, and a funny thing happened. The phone in his mom’s 'office' (which was the only off-limits part of the house) was ringing. All different numbers and escort service names..."
10."My mother confirmed it when I was an adult. I suspected for a long time, but knew she did what she did in part to care for us. So, I was not bothered. She hadn't spoken to me about it, so I never questioned her. When I was an adult she told my brother and he reacted badly — so badly that he called me and spat it out to me expecting me to be angry, too. But I wasn't. I talked to him a little and then it was dropped — my mom had a ton of problems, addictions, and struggles. We grew up in and out of shelters but we never starved, she made sure we had a place to sleep, and generally food to eat. I grew up strong and resourceful and pulled myself into the middle class. My mom has yet to meet her grandchild, as she hasn't found a way to visit in the almost seven years she's been alive. I have hope, though."
11."My best friend's mom used to do exotic dancing before him or his siblings were born. She, like many people in Hollywood, found it hard getting a break and stripped to pay her bills. This moved onto other things, and eventually she started dating one of the regulars. They fell in love, got married, and moved into the wilderness living a pretty modest and spartan lifestyle. I think they were married for a few years before they decided it wasn’t going to work out, and had an amicable divorce splitting their assets. The caveat being that the guy she was married to was absolutely loaded (an heir to a corporate empire — kinda rich, and just decided to live simply despite his wealth)."
"She ended up getting a few million out of it, met my friend's dad not much later on, and had a family. As I recall she was pretty open about it with my friend when we got older. To say the least he was pretty shocked, but empathized with what she had to go through and never belittled her for it."
12."My grandmother was a high-end escort with some big names under her belt. I was told my grandfather was dead my entire life, and when I was in late high school, I found a random recent obituary for him. My mom told me that he was abusive and manipulative. The words the obituary used though were 'deacon of his church' and 'respected in the community.' Apparently my grandmother was working by waiting tables in the '60s and someone rich came in and she served him. He ripped a hundred dollar bill in half, gave her one half, and told her if she wanted the other half she'd meet him at his hotel room to 'earn it.'"
"She laughed and pocketed the note. My grandfather took her money at the end of every shift and saw the ripped bill and asked her about it. A hundred dollars was a lot of money back then. He yelled at her and said he'd have done it for her if he had that chance, and forced her to go do it. That was the start of it all."
13."My mom had a giant plastic bin in her closet that she told me to stay away from and never go in. Well, one day when she wasn’t home, I decided to go through the bin and found a camcorder with little DVDs. On those discs were family memories mixed with sex tapes of her and other girls and guys. There was also a ton on pictures in the box of her in the strip club with other girls naked doing 'crazy' shit. I think I was around eight at the time, so I was exposed to this pretty young. All my school friends eventually found out about it (some of my mom's customers were parents of kids I went to school with), but no one ever made fun of me for it. I owned up to the fact that my mom was a sex worker, and I got a lot of attention from boys in school because my mom was a 'MILF.'"
14."Interestingly enough my grandma on my dad's side (my mom was the sex worker) was supposed to be punishing me for smoking weed or something. I don’t really remember, but to 'get in my head,' she found my mom's online profile advertising herself and showed it to me when I was about 11 years old. I moved in with my mom later on, and she’s been in that line of work my entire life."
15.And: "My mom worked as a massage therapist with 'extras' from when I was about 10 years old until about 20 years old. She worked out of our house in the middle of 'stereotypical suburbia.' My room shared a wall with the massage room, and I would hear very obvious sex sounds sometimes. When I would bring it up with her that I heard loud moans, she always claimed that some guys were just very loud while she worked over a knot. Sure, mom: that's why you were just as loud, too. My mom and dad are happily married and were never super subtle that they liked hooking up with other people. They did try to shelter my sister and I from everything, but they weren't very good at it. We started figuring things were hinky when we hit about 12. It was 'officially' confirmed when I was 19 when my friend found her backpage ad."
Note: Some submissions were edited for length and/or clarity.
If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 (4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.
