Be Your Own Windkeeper: Managing OCD in College
01 Madeline Flynn was diagnosed with OCD when she was seven years old.
02 Prior to entering college, a major concern of hers was not being able to see her therapist as regularly, and that her progress would be lost.
03 Madeline reminds fellow sufferers that despite the second guessing OCD causes, that they are not alone, not weak, and that OCD is not in control.
Being a college student with OCD doesn’t make me any less of a college student.
Sure, it may make some aspects of college life harder for me than for others, but it doesn’t feel different to me because I’ve been living with OCD since I was seven years old.
My biggest concern when I went away to college was about my meetings with my therapist —I’d been seeing her every few weeks, and now I’d only be able to see her every few months. We said we would Facetime and we would text and I could call whenever I needed, but I knew it wouldn’t be the same. She was a constant in my life, and even though I’d come to need the meetings less than I did when I was younger, it was still a comfort to see her and talk to her about things I knew she would understand.
I was afraid that at college I would feel alone and would have no one who would understand me like she did. Friends and family are understanding, but very few people truly get what it is like to live with OCD. I was afraid that without the ability to meet my therapist in person on a regular basis, my OCD would regress to where it had been years earlier, and I would lose everything I’d gained — my ability to call out and recognize my OCD before it took hold of me.
But once my freshman year was underway, I realized it doesn’t work that way. OCD may tell otherwise. It may exacerbate your biggest fears and make you think that everything you worked for would go down the drain if there's was the slightest change in routine or support. It may convince you that you aren't strong enough to face OCD alone. I’m here to tell you that isn't true.
For starters, you're strong enough. You have all the tools. I realized this once I got to college. I never had to call or Facetime my therapist. My years of hard work had prepared me for this new stage of life. (Not that reaching out is ever something to be ashamed of.)
Secondarily, you are never truly alone. Don't let OCD convince you that you are or take away your confidence. There is always someone to turn to, whether it’s your family, friends, a therapist or people online.
For you Friends lovers out there you, will appreciate this reference.
There is a scene in which the gang talks about a book called "Be Your Own Windkeeper." While fictional, I think it perfectly describes what OCD hopes to do. It tries to take your wind and deflate your confidence. The challenges of starting college are hard enough — making new friendships, summoning up the confidence to try new things, adjusting to a new school, keeping up with classwork.
Listen to yourself — not your OCD. I know it's easier said than done, but the anxiety is simply never right. You need to remember all you’ve learned about conquering it, and never let it beat you down.
Be your own windkeeper, and you will fly.