Now that our kids are older, my husband and I have time to reconnect. But it's bittersweet.

• My husband and I have been married for 18 years and have two teenagers.

• Seeing my kids becoming independent is bittersweet, but my husband and I enjoy the alone time.

• Amy McCready, a parenting coach, says as kids get older, it's normal for them to crave independence.

For our 18th wedding anniversary, my husband and I celebrated by going away overnight and leaving our teenagers home alone. After we'd spent more than a decade hiring babysitters and arranging for their grandmother to stay with them while we traveled, it was incredibly freeing.

At the same time, there's an element of sadness knowing they're grown enough to stay by themselves; it's yet another reminder that the years of bedtime routines and bandaging boo-boos have come to a close.

It's bittersweet. While it's strange to be needed less, it's given me back some much-needed time with my husband.

Experiencing joy and sadness at the same time is normal

At 13 and 15, my kids are pretty independent, maybe more than my husband and I were when we were their age. Gone are the days when we'd fantasize about getting out of the house for a date night — or have to hire a sitter to do so. Now, in the place of those fantasies are actual nights out with friends and overnights in hotels while my kids hang out at home by themselves.

Amy McCready, a parenting coach and the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, told Insider it's normal for moms and dads to find this time of transition bittersweet, especially when parents have multiple children.

"Each child that graduates into the world and leaves the home can feel like another strike of the clock," McCready said. "Time is counting down to when they'll all be gone and the house will be empty."

Though our house isn't empty yet — both kids still live at home — this struck a chord for me. In fact, many parents may start thinking about what it'll feel like not to have their kids around long before this becomes reality.

"Every bit of independence they gain — though it's a good thing — can serve as a reminder of them needing mom and dad less," she said. "As understandable as those feelings are, I implore parents to try not to squelch their child's desire for independence. This is all a natural and necessary part of growing up."

While it's sad at times to watch them grow, we've reconnected as a couple

Babyhood, the toddler years, and even those early school years were among the most difficult times in my marriage. As much as we love our kids, parenting little ones is hard. The younger a child is, the more they need from their parents, and that constant neediness can take its toll.

As our kids grew older, my husband and I began leaving them at home alone during the day for a few hours while we'd go for a neighborhood bike ride together or to a local happy hour. We set up standard rules, such as not allowing them to use the stove or oven while we were gone or not answering the door. Now that they're teens, we feel comfortable leaving them for several hours for a date night or even overnight while staying in a nearby hotel.

From this point on, I know they'll continue becoming more independent and mature, but McCready offered some ways to cope with the emotions these changes could bring.

"To help curb the sadness, parents can prioritize their own personal life," she said. "No matter how busy you are or how tired you feel, make time for your spouse. Schedule date nights and take time each day to connect with each other. Make and foster adult friendships. Parents falling in love with their own independent self is a great way to ensure they aren't hit too hard by their kids' independence."

Now quality time with our teens feels extra special

Our kids have their own lives and friendships. They're also developing their own preferences and interests, which is a good thing. When we do get precious family time, instead of pressing them to tell us all the details of their lives, we try to stay quiet and allow them to tell us what they're comfortable sharing. It often winds up paying off.

No matter how old kids get, McCready said, they'll always crave times of connection with their parents.

"That may be hard to believe as they moodily slam their bedroom door in your face," she said, "but I promise you it's the truth." She added that spending one-on-one time with them — if possible, on a daily basis — was important.

"This is your chance to ditch the distractions — yours and theirs — and truly connect with each other," she said. "When they were little, this may have looked like playing Legos on the bedroom floor or reading a story together.

"As they get older, don't be afraid to hit the basketball court together, play some video games, or watch their favorite streaming series. As your time together gets shorter, maximize every moment you have. I promise you will never, ever regret the moments you took to connect."

We still both experience pangs of sadness while missing our kids

As much as we love our newfound independence, it's not uncommon for my husband and I to sit at dinner while on a date reminiscing about our kids being small and wanting to spend every moment with us. Yes, parenting can be mentally draining, but the feelings that are involved are always changing.

When parents feel sad about losing their tight grip on their kids, McCready said, it's important they show themselves grace.

"Understand that nearly every parent experiences some sort of sadness when their kids are grown and flown," she said. "Change is stressful, and most people don't like it, but it is a very unavoidable part of life. Allow yourself time to grieve this passing portion of your life, and don't be too hard on yourself."

We're so proud of who our kids are becoming

I often tell my kids how proud I am of who they're becoming. While I miss the smell of their little newborn heads and the sweet ways they mispronounced words in preschool, it's so rewarding seeing how the kids I've raised are cool people who I enjoy spending time with.

"As hard as it may be to say goodbye to your babies, you're getting to say hello to a brand-new type of relationship with them," McCready said. "During their formative years, you had the hard task of instructing, disciplining, and molding them into amazing humans. Now you get to reap the rewards of all that hard work. Before, you may have just been Mom or Dad. Perhaps now you can add 'friend' to that list."

This has been my experience: The older and more independent my kids become, the more moments I have with them where I feel a shift from them needing me all the time to wanting to hang out with me and chat about life. I may get less time with my teens than I did with my toddlers, but that time feels deeper and more meaningful because I'm building relationships with people who are on their way to adulthood.

"Looking forward to those possibilities is a great way to help you muddle through the sadness," McCready said.

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