'It's nice to prove people wrong': Meet the Hillsborough woman breaking BBQ gender norms

Alexandra Donnadio doesn’t mind when men don’t believe that she can cook whole animals over an open fire.

Actually, she laughs.

“I just sit back and laugh because it’s something that I love to do, and if you’re going to judge a book by its cover, then that’s your problem,” said the Hillsborough resident and owner of Iron & Oak Catering. “It happens a lot, but it’s nice to be able to prove people wrong.”

And prove she does. Donnadio recently competed on FOX’s “Next Level Chef,” which inspired her to make her side gig doing open-fire cooking and catering for private parties into a company.

Besides working full-time as a detective in ballistics with the Essex County Sheriff's Department, she’s one of the few people – and even fewer women – bringing the South American and Texas-style experiences of open-fire cooking to New Jersey.

Donnadio offers open-fire experiences for private events, which can include everything from hot dogs and hamburgers to whole hogs, chicken and skirt steak alongside dishes like pork belly sliders and garlic, clams and chorizo.

She’s also holding an open-fire fundraiser feast at the Roseland/Caldwell VFW from 1 to 6 p.m. Saturday, June 8, called Embers of Valor. A portion of the proceeds benefit the VFW, as well as 22Mohawks, a nonprofit for veteran and first responder suicide prevention. Tickets are $70 for adults, $25 for kids. Donnadio will be joined by nearly two dozen chefs specializing in open-fire cooking, including a Florida woman. To learn more, visit bit.ly/3wiJCEa.

Donnadio cooks meats for several hours over oak wood after sourcing them from local farms like Dogwood Creek Homestead in Frenchtown, and Stryker Farm in Saylorsburg, Pennsylvania.

“There’s something so primal yet elegant about controlling a fire, being outside and watching your food being cooked,” said Donnadio. “And whether I’m feeding tens of people or hundreds of people, there’s something amazing to me about watching people enjoy my food outside that I don’t get in a kitchen.”

Not that the people she’s feeding always know it’s her doing the work.

“Recently I was serving at a barbecue festival and everyone was like, ‘Where’s the chef?’ " Donnadio said. “And I was like, ‘Surprise… it’s me.’ I just found it funny that in 2024, people are still undermining the power of women.”

But when it comes to open-fire cooking, Donnadio thinks that women have some advantages.

Earlier: Meet the Hillsborough home chef cooking for Gordon Ramsay on 'Next Level Chef'

“Cooking is very intuitive, and you have to dig deeper into it when you’re outside,” she said. “It takes a different kind of patience to tend to a fire, cook whole animals, and utilize the skills you have in the kitchen outside.”

Open-fire cooking, Donnadio said, isn’t as scary as it looks. She recommends that women who are intimidated by it should watch, ask questions, have fun and "just go for it."

Sound simple? In some ways, it is, Donnadio said.

To see open-fire cooking techniques for themselves, aspiring cooks should turn on their stove burner and count how many seconds they can hold their hand over it when the flame is high, medium and low. That’s the same way open-fire cooking works, she said.

One day, she hopes to teach open-fire cooking classes for women.

On the screen: How 'Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives' helped Somerset County restaurants

Growing up in an Italian-American household in Hillsborough, Donnadio was used to watching her mother crisp up chicken cutlets and boil pasta al dente. But her love of cooking was forged, and she especially enjoyed grilling steak or burgers.

After she began posting home cooking videos on her Instagram account @cookingwithzandge_s, which now has nearly 24,000 followers, she was invited to Texas to cook a whole cow.

She was hooked, even though she often found herself as one of the only women at open-fire cooking events, especially in New Jersey.

“I have learned that people's negative opinions shouldn’t affect me," she said, "because I’m doing what I love and what makes me happy — and my food makes other people happy. That’s all that matters.”

Info: ironandoakcatering.com; 908-566-8122, [email protected].

Contact: [email protected]

Jenna Intersimone has been a staff member at the USA TODAY NETWORK New Jersey since 2014, although she's a lifetime Jersey girl who considers herself an expert in everything from the Jersey Shore to the Garden State's buzzing downtowns. To get unlimited access to her stories about food, drink and fun, please subscribe or activate your digital account today. You can also follow her on Instagram at @seejennaeat and on Twitter at @JIntersimone.

This article originally appeared on MyCentralJersey.com: Meet the Hillsborough woman breaking BBQ gender norms in New Jersey