Mum vs millennial: How working out with my daughter helped me lose a stone

Finding your fitness mojo is just as taxing whether you’re in your 30s or your 50s. Before mother-daughter duo Ruby and Reena Hammer both decided to get in shape last year, they would never have thought they’d end up as fitness buddies.

Living busy lives – Ruby as an international make-up artist and Reena as managing director for Urban Retreat – working out was never a priority for either of them until Reena got engaged in the summer. ‘If you want to get fit but don’t know where to start, have an end goal or a big event to look forward to, like a birthday or wedding,’ says Ruby, 57.

‘Reena getting engaged spurred us on; we both knew we wanted to look our best on her big day.’  It was a great chance for the pair to spend time together, too.

‘Originally I was quite intimidated to work out with Reena as she’s nearly 25 years younger than me,’ Ruby continues, ‘but she was really sick last year after numerous colorectal surgeries and underwent seven general anaesthetics in  a year, which made her recovery very slow and her fitness level equal to me, her postmenopausal mum.’

‘We were both struggling, me with my health and Mum with her life stage,’ says Reena, 32, ‘so actually we were perfect fitness companions.’

Previous research by health-club group Virgin Active has found that working out in  a pair can help you burn considerably more calories than you would in a solo session. ‘If  I didn’t have Reena to get me going, I would have quit a long time ago,’ says Ruby.

Reena adds, ‘Working out with Mum turns into a really healthy competition, plus it makes it fun. My mum in her 50s can out-plank me but I’ve recently discovered something she can’t do: the crab! We push each other along and I love getting to hang out with her every time as living apart means we don’t see each other as much.’

Entering your 30s and your 50s are both transitional times in a woman’s life. Your 30s are when fat becomes harder to shift. Your metabolism slows, often you can’t just eat what you want any more, and the will to exercise can be harder to summon. Equally, turning 50 can be a challenging time both physically and mentally. It’s around then that the average woman reaches the menopause.

Ruby suffered a crippling menopause both physically and psychologically. Some days she couldn’t make it out of bed, and says she also developed a tummy that her once naturally skinny self didn’t recognise.  ‘I’ve always been lucky in that I’ve been slim without trying,’ she explains. ‘But I was skinny-fat – I looked thin but I wasn’t fit at all. I couldn’t even do a push-up.

‘After much deliberation and days of not wanting to get out of bed, I thought to myself, “If I don’t do something about this, I’m going to become a decrepit mess.”  I decided to get fit and help ease my symptoms, and get the oxygen flowing in my body. It worked. I feel amazing, have lost weight and am stronger than ever before.’

Ruby and Reena’s personal trainer, Roland Khounlivong, gym manager at the Soho House group, says ‘working out with someone is a good way to stay committed to getting fit. Whether it’s a trainer or a fitness buddy, if you feel there is someone to let down, you’ll work harder and stay focused.’

‘When you’re over 40, any previous injuries will play up and affect how well you can work out,’ Ruby adds. ‘I had an ankle injury when I was a bit younger and I definitely notice it when I exercise, but  I just asked Roland to adjust my workout. That’s what’s so great about investing  in a personal trainer. Your workout can  be tailored to your age or physical ability.’

What’s Ruby and Reena’s magic fitness formula? ‘We try to work out three times a week together, and then maybe another two on our own,’ says Reena. ‘We do a mixture of boxing, high-intensity workouts and weight training as the combination of fat-burning and muscle-building gives you great results.’

‘It’s human nature to slack,’ adds Ruby, ‘and one of the biggest tips is to recognise that you will need a day off – recovery is very much part of anyone’s fitness journey.’

‘There’s a myth that when you get to a certain age you can’t work out like you used to,’ Roland says. ‘The intensity of your workout may differ but the process is the same. It is ageless and if you’re in any doubt, just get up and do something. Working out is the most youthful thing you can do.’

Almost a year on from their first joint session, mother and daughter feel fitter and more energised than ever. And with Reena’s wedding – in April – fast approaching, they don’t intend to stop any time soon.

Get fit like Ruby and Reena with Roland’s fat-burning ageless workout

If you have…  15 minutes 

One cycle is 30 seconds on and 10 seconds rest. Perform each exercise in turn, then start again.

Air squats, plank, reverse lunges, jumping jacks, push-ups (Instructions readily available online).

If you have…  30 minutes

One cycle is 30 seconds on and 15 seconds rest Perform each exercise in turn, then start again.

Air squats, knee-tap plank, plank on elbows palms facing up, push-ups Squats,  mountain climbers.

Ruby and Reena’s workout kit

Eight Hour Cream Skin Protectant, ￡28, Elizabeth Arden 

Metcon 4 trainers, ￡129.95,  Nike 

Running top, ￡58, Lululemon 

Training Serum, ￡50, FaceGym

Outshock 300 beginner’s boxing gloves, ￡13.99,  Decathlon