These Moms Went Viral on TikTok—And They're Redefining What it Means to be Cool
A woman stands over the stove in her kitchen wearing black spandex biker shorts and a fitted gray tank top, her hair in a top bun. Suddenly, she whips her head around, holding a frying pan in one hand with a tea towel thrown over her shoulder—and then she starts singing:
“I ain't gon' be cooking all day, I ain't your mama.
I ain't gon' do your laundry, I ain't your mama.”
If you're envisioning Jennifer Lopez, you're close. But this scene is actually from a video on the social media app TikTok, filmed set to Lopez’s 2016 song “Ain’t Your Mama.” And instead of J.Lo, the clip stars Melanie Richards, a mom of two boys living in Southern California with her husband.
After Richards lip syncs her "I ain't your mama," declaration, the video cuts to her adorable son saying: “But you are my mama, mom. You’ve gotta stop listening to Jennifer Lopez!” which only encourages Richards to start dancing. Since it was originally posted over a year ago, the 15 second sketch has racked up 3.9 million views, with almost 500,000 likes—the first TikTok to go mega viral for the Richards family, whose account @melouandtwo has now amassed over 1 million followers.
The usage of Lopez's song for similar TikTok videos started with creator @cristianoliveras; now, videos tagged with #ButYouAreMyMommaMom have collectively reached almost 1 million views. For an app generally associated with a younger demographic, the virality of content created by mothers might sound surprising at first, but the sheer number of viewers suggests that a new wave of online mom culture was long overdue.
Of course, it didn’t take a pandemic for TikTok to ascend—the app had 1.5 billion downloads by November 2019, according to analytics firm Sensor Tower. But certainly, the fact that many Americans started spending more time at home boosted the platform's number of users.
In the months of February and March 2020, TikTok became the most downloaded non-game app worldwide, and by April, the social media app had passed 2 billion downloads—with top stars raking in millions in advertising deals. Its surge in users has even attracted attention from tech giant Microsoft, who is currently in talks to buy TikTok's global operations.
Now, even Hollywood moms—from Lopez to Mariah Carey, Reese Witherspoon, and Jessica Alba—have created accounts on the app. But the real delight is discovering the "regular" moms who are going viral on the app every day.
While in recent years our society's (often unrealistic) expectations of mothers have been influenced by celebrities, Pinterest projects, mommy bloggers, and picture-perfect Instagram influencers, now, TikTok is ushering in a whole new wave of viral motherhood—no filter needed. And while TikTok certainly isn't the first platform to offer the mom community a refreshing—or even satirical—outlet on the internet, it has offered an easy way for users of any age to be themselves on social media.
“In other places, mom content is full of super perfect and crisp images of the beautiful life," says Kudzi Chukumbu, TikTok's Director of Creator Community. "But on TikTok, it’s about real life and true connection, which is why I think people are starting to take notice. The highlight reel is gone, and the real reel is here. You are celebrated for just being you.”
In a virtual universe where mothers have long been mommy-shamed for any small misstep, TikTok has created a parallel reality where women can be unapologetic. Got super corny mom jokes, but your family doesn’t think you’re funny? Want to poke fun at your kids' favorite music? Going crazy in quarantine and need a creative outlet? The possibilities are endless.
Brooke Erin Duffy, an Associate Professor at Cornell who studies the intersection of media, culture, and technology, says that one reason TikTok is particularly appealing for moms is the likelihood that most of your audience is not people you know in real life, the way it might be if you post your content on Facebook. "They don’t have the same expectations about how you should be treating your kids or how you should be acting at work," she says. “It’s a way to project a more authentic version of yourself."
Certainly, TikTok isn’t utopia—and as it continues to grow, it's faced increased scrutiny around the app's security, what types of people get to go viral, and which creators get credit for their work. Recently, TikTok battled a 45-day ultimatum from President Trump to sell U.S. operations of the Chinese-owned app to an American company. The platform has also seen increased competition from Instagram, Triller, Byte and more. It's possible that the runaway hit video app's future is hanging in the balance; just as quickly as virality can come and go, the platform can disappear equally as fast.
But whether it's on TikTok or another platform someday, the most important offering the app has brought to the internet is the reminder that social media can make the stress of the real-world concerns seem far, far away—even if it's just for 60 seconds. So we talked to four mothers with popular accounts on the app about what it's like being a viral "cool mom"—and how to lean in to what brings you joy.
Ashley Rose Reeves
Ashley Reeves's TikTok life can easily be divided into two periods: Before former NSYNC boy bander Lance Bass commented on one of her videos, and after. After a video of her dancing to “Bye Bye Bye” started going viral on the app, it caught Bass's eye, an exciting moment for the mom of four who was obsessed with the boyband as a kid.
When she first downloaded TikTok in November 2019, she had about 100 followers. “At first, I definitely felt like an old hag,” the Utah native says. But instead of trying to dance to songs she didn’t know that she saw going viral by the younger set, Reeves decided to just focus on what she loved: NSYNC's “Bye Bye Bye” choreography, which she spent hours practicing as a kid in the '90s. Apparently, TikTok users loved it too: to date, the video has almost 300,000 views, Lance Bass left a clapping hands emoji, and Reeves’s account gained 5,000 followers within a week.
“I think TikTok gives people permission to act silly,” Reeves says. “A lot of people have that in us. How often do you just want to dance around and have fun, but you don’t really have an excuse?”
Now, she even gets her husband, a high school principal, in on the fun—and she says the app has helped her marriage. “I feel like sometimes between your mortgage payment, and the children and all the schedules—it's just an excuse to be silly,” Reeves says. “We laugh hysterically when we make the videos, even when my husband takes it really seriously. He’ll be like, ‘Ashley, you’re supposed to do this and this.’ So I get a crack out of it. It’s been a really fun thing for us to do together.”
Despite her now 330,000 followers on the app, Reeves isn’t trying to fit in with the kids. “Teenagers are totally cool, there’s nothing wrong with them—that’s just not who I’m interested in hanging out with on TikTok. I want to hang out with people my age, other mothers. Whether it’s working moms or stay-at-home moms, I don't even care...I just like being able to connect with people my age.”
Chriselle Lim
If you ever dreamed about being adopted by a rich mom with nice things, you can live out that luxurious fantasy by following Chriselle Lim's TikTok. The 35-year-old mother of two worked for over a decade in the world of fashion—which means that now, her enviable closet full of trendy designer goods and videos of her lifestyle are perfect content.
“Somebody on Twitter posted a video of mine from TikTok saying ‘I don’t know who this rich mom is, but look at her wardrobe.’ It went mega viral,” recalls Lim. “And now, these kids on TikTok know me as ‘your rich mom.’ I kind of have this alter ego. I’ll get into character, which isn’t really me—but it is kind of me.”
Lim’s TikTok account, which now has over 2 million followers since she started in December 2019, has elevated her cool mom street cred with teenagers she doesn’t even know.
“At my local Starbucks, I can barely go in without high schoolers coming up to me," she says. "It definitely does make me feel a little younger and hipper.” She also recalls that she was once out with her husband and two young daughters when a group of teenage boys came up to them and asked: “Are you guys the TikTok family?”
The teen demographic’s fascination with her family and her “rich mom” persona is “a little jarring,” but it's also inspired Lim, who tries to use this "cool" credibility she's amassed on the platform to create teachable moments—and not just about fashion. Take this video, where she explains the problem with saying "All Lives Matter" to her daughter using dolls.
The social media influencer, who got her start making videos on YouTube while bored in college, says TikTok is where she feels able to express the fullest evolution of herself as a fashion blogger, businesswoman, and mom. “Me right now, is just this person who is a little bit of everything, and sometimes people are like 'You need to find your niche, you need to find your voice,” Lim says. “But this is my voice—my voice is a little bit of everything.”
Ashlay Soto
“I was just a bored stay-at-home mom, and accidentally became a popular creator," says Ashley Soto. Popular is putting it lightly: Soto has a whopping 7.5 million followers on TikTok.
Born and raised in Texas, the mom of three describes herself as a “really goofy person” who channeled that into “a passion for making funny comedies and videos that moms can relate to.” Now, Soto—who had her first daughter at 17—finds that both kids and moms on TikTok relate to her videos.
“I feel like that’s the biggest part of my growth. The relatable content—kids can come on and be like ‘Oh, my mom does that’ and moms can be like, ‘My kid totally does that.’”
Like Chriselle, her viral comedy-focused videos have turned Ashlay into a local celebrity of sorts. “The kids at my daughter’s school think I’m like the coolest mom ever. A lot of kids will run up to us in public.”
But Soto isn't really chasing celebrity in its traditional sense, still identifying as the bored stay-at-home mom that she was pre-TikTok—albeit with the extra cool factor that 7 million followers affords her. She wants that sense of freedom for other "regular moms" like her: “I feel like all moms, especially if you’re a stay-at-home mom and you feel lonely—if they were to get on TikTok it would open up a whole new world to them. You can have fun, and put yourself out there. You know what I mean?"
Even if creating videos isn't your thing, or you don't have time, Soto still recommends TikTok as a useful tool for mothers, "just to see what the kids are doing."
Melanie Richards
Without TikTok, Melanie Richards says: "I would have no clue what the heck a—hold on what was that word...a 'boomer' is. I would not know what the kids meant when they said 'OK boomer!'" She's referring to the controversial meme Generation Z has often used to make fun of the Baby Boomer generation. "Now I feel cool, because I understand the lingo of what my kids are saying."
Parenting two boys, 7th grader Isaiah and 8th grader Jason, with her husband Louis certainly provides enough fodder for an entertaining TikTok account full of boy mom adventures, hilarious sketches with the whole family and, err, quality time with her husband. "I sing all day long in the house, I joke around...in all honesty, that is me to my core. My family is my absolute everything."
Richards's videos (and the over 1.1 million followers) have definitely elevated her cool mom status. "When I go to a parent-teacher conference, sometimes there are kids that literally are like ‘Ms. Richards, please follow me back.’ I kid you not!"
But despite the extra attention, Richards makes it clear that the app is purely an "extracurricular" for her and the boys. "I’m still a mom at heart. One kid goes to bed at 8:30, my other one goes to bed at 9," she explains. "I’m mom mode first, and although we have a great following, to me, your school work and everything else will come first."
And even despite having brand deals with major American companies, Melanie and her husband both work day jobs. "TikTok has been very profitable for our family, and I’m sure for some people, they could probably quit their job and just do advertising. But that’s not necessarily my main focus with doing it," Richards says. "I want my boys to know that this is something we do for fun.”
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