Melissa McCarthy says she was 'awkward' talking about sex with her 15-year-old daughter
Melissa McCarthy got candid about the conversations she's had of late with her oldest daughter Vivian Falcone, 15, sharing that she's attempting to be more open about sex with her children than her parents were with her.
The actress, who shares her two daughters Vivian and Georgette, 12, with husband Ben Falcone appeared on an episode of the podcast We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle where she discussed a bit of her upbringing in Illinois. In reflecting on how she grew up, McCarthy mentioned that she'd like to create a space for more open dialogue with her children than what she was exposed to.
"At that age if you asked a question that was kind of complicated they’d be like, 'Don’t worry about it,' and we were done. They said it lovingly, they were incredibly loving parents, but we just didn’t delve into things," she said of her own childhood.
But even as she's tried to break that cycle for her kids, she's found it uncomfortable at times.
"I probably don’t do enough. Like we’ve had the talk, which I did incredibly awkwardly because I knew it was gonna come. I always thought, I’m gonna do it so early because we’re open about anything and they can come to me for anything. But there is still a midwestern former Catholic person that’s like, 'Talk about sex and a lightning bolt comes down,'" McCarthy explained, referring to her upbringing in the church. "So I just very awkwardly, right before she went to school the day they were going to talk about it at school, I’m like, 'I’m certainly not having someone else initiate that conversation with my child.'"
McCarthy recalled her older daughter's reaction when she realized what her mom was trying to discuss as they were picking up after the dog in the backyard. "Vivi just goes, 'Oh dear god, is this happening?' And I was like, 'There’s different parts of bodies be it..uh,' but at least I was just like let me be awkward and get through it."
While the Bridesmaids actress joked that she'll have to "have a better talk with them" on the subject, she explained that it was most important that she set expectations for how a romantic partner should treat the girls and did so using inclusive language.
"I think they know that as long as whoever you’re with is incredibly kind and respectful and only lifts you up ... we talk about that a lot," she said. "That whoever your love will be, and it may change and you don’t have to pick a side, you can pick a side, you don’t have to pick a side, you never know what’s gonna happen. I said, 'That person has to be incredibly happy when you succeed and incredibly supportive when you fail. And if those are ever switched, that’s the biggest red flag on earth and nothing should make you feel uncomfortable.'"
McCarthy admittedly didn't learn these lessons until later in life as she attended a Catholic school where she said she had "been taught a lot about Mary and the immaculate conception." She even recalled a time in 7th grade where she realized she was severely unaware of the topic when a book about sex was pulled out at a slumber party.
By contrast, she acknowledged that her daughters have a greater understanding of various topics because of social media.
"They know so much. My kids are so much more aware of the world and they’re such little activists. I always say, I don’t think anyone will ever tread on them, they just won’t stand for it," she said. "I don’t know how I could be more proud of them. They’re just so well balanced and they’re not afraid to speak up if something is really wrong."
Nevertheless, when asked about what she fears she said, "Raising two women in a country where I feel like women are under attack," especially after the overturn of Roe v. Wade.
She continued, "Sometimes the girls ask me questions about just basic human rights and kindness and I am so overwhelmed that I don’t have a good answer for them. I can’t make it better. I can’t say, 'This won’t happen, it won’t come to this, people just like to be loud.' We’re in it. I never thought I would be just kind of fearful to be in this country and I, I want to take it back."
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