Mandy Teefey Would Like to Keep Talking
Mandy Teefey has big plans. In addition to 13 Reasons Why, the wildly popular teen drama that just premiered its second season on Netflix, the producer, filmmaker, and mom of Selena Gomez hopes to roll out more projects with her company, Kicked to the Curb Productions. One thing she’s working on is a docu-series based on the nature vs nurture debate. Teefey, who was given up for adoption at a young age, became inspired when she was trying to locate her siblings. “When I started doing it, I started realizing, based off the reaction from the show [13 Reasons Why], that there seems to be a conversation that’s lacking in that aspect,” Teefey tells Cosmopolitan.com.
Now, Teefey is building a family tree of sorts, along with a book that supports her findings with science and research. She grew up around “very heavy gang violence and racial issues,” but serious issues also existed on her birth side. “There are so many things that affect a person, a decision,” Teefey says. “I’m hoping… to show what influenced me the most.”
Here, Teefey opens up about what keeps her going, the perils of social media, and why working in Hollywood is kind of like being a criminal psychologist.
What are you the most proud of with 13 Reasons Why?
I’m proud of the fact that it creates conversation and is entertaining at the same time. I don’t really have favorites almost in anything. I’m just proud of the project in general and what it’s accomplished. To me, it’s more than just a show. It was the launching of my company and what I represent and how I want to be perceived. For me, it did what it had to do and what I wanted it to do. I was extremely proud of it and everybody involved.
How do you make sure the right people – namely, young men – are watching the show? They're a big part of season two.
I can’t control who watches the show or watches anything that is developed, but I want to merge entertainment with… when you are watching something, you’re so entertained, you actually don’t realize you’re learning something. And you know, I found this with the documentary [Bully]. I feel like all these people who went to watch it were people that are already anti-bullying. We’ve got to find a way to get people to tune into something that needs to be spreading the message. And the only way that we can really utilize that is by being a true reflection of what society is. When it is told in that way, that at least starts a conversation to where they’re like, Well that’s not my reality. Does that really happen?
Season two arrives at a critical point in time in our national conversation. March for Our Lives was two months ago. #MeToo and #TimesUp happened between seasons. You’ve been very vocal in your support for young people. What keeps you going?
I didn’t have a lot of mentors and people that were there for me. My parents were great parents, but they were working, and I feel like it’s even worse now. You have to have double income homes... I constantly to this day face issues, and I’ve dealt with mental issues, I’ve had a lot of losses in my life. If I see someone in pain, I want to take it away from them because I know I’ve survived so much. And I want them to know they’re going to survive whatever they’re facing. Just because you’re like, “Oh, OK that’s not as big as this issue,” well it’s big to this person. I don’t want them to feel belittled. I feel in my soul, had we maybe had the power and knew we had that voice that our youths now have, like for March for Our Lives, maybe I wouldn’t have lost so many friends that I lost [to] different forms of violence or suicide.
Now I know I can help somebody, hopefully, by sharing my stories. It’s actually when I’m happiest. I feel like I’d rather take on pain and protect people than to see other people in pain. That’s kind of what keeps me going. I don’t want people to go through anything that I went through.
For a lot of the younger 13RW cast, this is their first big break in Hollywood. As the mother of a famous person, are you reliving certain experiences? Are you giving them advice?
It’s organic to me, with everybody in the business, young children, adults, even people that work at my company. They get constantly advised by me: “You don’t really understand it until you experience it.” I give that advice to everybody whether they ask for it or not. I could talk all day long to anybody about their journey out here and until they’re actually in it, they’re not going to get it.
The only thing I will say is whenever we were casting these young kids, I felt like I adopted 12 kids because I care that much. When we started managing other talent [at Kicked to the Curb], it took me a really long time to open up to the idea of doing it. I care like a mother, I’ve only managed from a mother’s perspective. So that’s the only way I know how to do it. It’s hard enough to raise teenagers, as it is. To manage other people, I am a huge mama bear. So thankfully my husband has taken over that world.
How has social media affected how your company manages young people?
I feel like they are under an immense amount of pressure that only amplifies the growing pains that everybody has to go through. I probably overshare, but at the same time, I’m an adult. So when people come at me with comments that are negative or they try to insult me, it’s easier for me to blow it off just because I’ve been dealing with it for so long. But I couldn’t imagine being a young adult or kids that are so little, they don’t understand who they are yet.
I joined Facebook and had to delete my account because I couldn’t handle the election. I felt like it started dominating my world. I needed to go be with my child - I have a 5-year-old - and not argue with my uncle. I was just so inquisitive on people’s opinions and who they are, and [the] psychology [behind it]. I originally wanted to be a criminal psychologist and I ended up in the entertainment industry. Go figure.
It’s kind of the same, right?
I feel like I kind of get the best of both worlds. Film kind of saved my life and got me out of the bad world that I was being raised in. I got on Instagram so I could see, honestly, what was going on with our show, and that was it… I think it does some good. At the same time, I’m really up in the air. It’s not the best thing at all for anybody to really get so consumed with online living and not having emotional connections with humanity… You worry about hurting people’s feelings because you didn’t like their photo or you missed something. This is ridiculous. I already graduated high school. Why do I feel like I’m back?
Will there be a third season of 13 Reasons Why?
I can’t say! I can’t! I felt like from the first season you could tell there was going to be a second, you know. We’ll see. There’s definitely a lot of story to tell. Until then, I’m hanging onto doing everything that I can give to myself. Hopefully that will rub off on more people to do the same. People want to talk. And people want to be heard. And I want to build the rest of my career around that.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Crisis Text Line is also available; text REASON to 741741. You can find additional support, services, and resources at 13ReasonsWhy.info.
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