Making friends as an adult can be hard. Here's how 7 people did it.

When Shannon Watts, the founder of gun violence prevention group Moms Demand Action, listened to a podcast that stated everyone should have five friends they could call in an emergency, she realized she had a problem: She didn’t even have one person to call.

It kicked off her quest to make new friends — something that, at age 50, she hadn’t thought much about in years. So she did research: She read books on friendship, surveyed her social media followers and even asked her kids how they found friends. Then, the self-described introvert and "inordinately busy person” put what she learned into practice.

Watts joined a women’s hiking group. She attended a four-day retreat with total strangers and let herself focus on bonding with the other women instead of “being distracted by work,” Watts tells Yahoo Life. She even invited five women she didn’t know very well to go on a weekend-long vacation.

She also turned some internet connections into real-life hangs: If someone she was in touch with on Facebook or Twitter lived nearby, she would ask them to meet for drinks after work. Just as important, she says, Watts stayed in touch with the women she met up with — setting calendar reminders to hit up potential friends for brunch or dinner plans.

Now 54, Watts has a bigger social circle than ever before, and she isn’t the only person who sees the value in friendship: 61% of U.S. adults say that having close friends is essential for a fulfilling life, according to 2023 data from the Pew Research Center.

Like Watts, many people are eager to expand their circle. A 2021 survey from the Survey Center on American Life found 30% of U.S. adults said they are only somewhat satisfied with how many friends they have, while 17% say they are not too satisfied or not at all satisfied with their number of friends.

But there is hope: Experts say that putting in extra effort, like Watts did, can help you make more friends and become more satisfied with your life. Here’s how seven people pushed themselves out of their comfort zones in order to expand their friend group.

He turned a workout buddy into a friend

Texas native and air conditioning specialist Tommy Mathisen, 55, says that he never expected to find making friends challenging, as he didn’t struggle much in childhood thanks to activities like sports. But at some point, he tells Yahoo, “life sped up,” and work obligations meant socializing took a back seat.

“I initially dismissed the situation as unimportant,” Mathisen says, noting that he was able to maintain work friendships while still occasionally meeting up with old friends. But he eventually realized he wanted to form more meaningful relationships, which meant actively seeking out new friends.

“The most convenient starting point for building friendships was with the people who were already around me,” he says. For Mathisen, that meant people at the gym. At first, he just exchanged nods with another man who worked out during the same hours. Those nods progressed to casual comments about workout sets and then the two started chatting regularly.

“We began to talk between sets, exchange workout tips and soon we found ourselves spotting each other,” he says. “He extended an invitation to join his friends for food after our session and without hesitation I agreed to join them.”

That gym interaction inspired Mathisen to contact people he connected with at work, asking them about their weekend plans rather than just making office small talk. Soon he was invited to barbecues and other after-work events.

He learned from these interactions that it was OK to be the inviter too, even if it felt awkward. “I felt strange initially because it resembled asking someone to go on a date,” Mathisen says. “I discovered most individuals felt the same way when they wanted social interaction but hesitated to initiate meetings. So I started throwing it out there. I began extending simple invitations to people like, ‘Want to grab a beer after work?’ or ‘The game’s on this weekend and I’m thinking about grilling outside; feel free to stop by if you’d like,’ which typically resulted in a positive response. Everyone wants social interaction, but nobody wants to be the first one to make the suggestion.”

Friendship happened when she tried something brand new

Florida-based publicist Emily Taffel, 44, tells Yahoo Life that while she still has some best friends from childhood, she’s made some “amazing” friends well into adulthood. Last year, she and her husband tried something different and ended up making two new “spectacular friends” in a unique way.

Taffel and her husband, who love to try new experiences and food, decided to attend a “dining in the dark” event at a Miami restaurant. They were placed at a table with a couple they didn’t know while blindfolded. Although it was “totally awkward to sit blindfolded with strangers,” she says, and they almost left, Taffel says that eventually, the two couples were able to laugh about how awkward it was.

“We decided as a group to cheat and remove the blindfolds to get to know each other and found out we actually had a lot in common,” she says. “We have hung out many times since, our kids have met and get along and we absolutely adore them.”

She created a walking group for moms

As an entrepreneur, Florida-based Rachael Todd knows how important it is to build a network. But as she got into her 30s, making new friends became more challenging. Trying to make plans as a parent was even harder.

Then, two years ago, Todd saw an Instagram post about the Mom Walk Collective, a group that organizes walks for mothers around the country. When she saw that they didn’t have a Jacksonville, Fla., chapter, she decided to start her own. Todd, who prefers going to a yoga class instead of happy hour, says she was looking for people who shared her values, like getting outside and being active. Now she and other moms in her area take a walk with their children to the park where they then let their kids run around while the moms socialize.

The experience also led Todd to making a great friend: her co-host Amelia, who she invited to join Mom Walk Collective on a whim when she saw she had newly moved to her neighborhood. “We talk every day, and our kids are all very close in age,” she says. “We’ve grown really, really close. It's been really fun.”

He joined the local chamber of commerce

When Philadelphia-based marketing manager Alex Schwartz, 33, joined his local Chamber of Commerce, he thought of it as a professional networking opportunity. While he did meet other career-oriented people, he also “found a large group of people around my age who were also seeking friends and connection,” he tells Yahoo Life.

“Sometimes, I would strike up a conversation with another person, asking about the company they work for or what brought them out to the event,” Schwartz says. “With most events ending in the early evening, it was common for many of the attendees to want to hang around or go out to a bar once the event had concluded and spending that extra time with people formed friendships organically.”

Though Schwartz says that making friends as an adult can be difficult, he’s found that one powerful strategy he’s incorporated into his life is introducing other people. “Often I would meet someone who could benefit from speaking to someone else I knew from the chamber and making that introduction would usually endear me to both parties,” he says.

She turned fitness into friendship

As a military spouse who had to relocate multiple times for her husband’s job, Mandi St. Germaine, 38, tells Yahoo Life that making friends in new places was challenging but also a lifeline. The athleisure brand founder sought out community opportunities that allowed her to connect with other people, such as a regular women’s Bible study group, library events and group fitness classes. She also picked up volunteering opportunities, allowing her to connect with “women who shared similar interests and values,” she says.

St. Germaine says that, once she had kids, her focus shifted to finding ways to meet other moms. “I found local play groups through Meetup, which became a huge support system during various deployments and hardships we faced,” she explains, noting that she attended Mommy and Me fitness classes and Stroller Strides meetups.

Joining so many group activities gave St. Germaine the confidence to start her own. She began a Saturday morning fitness class in the park, where other moms could meet for a quick workout while their kids played. “This time became a place for us to exchange advice, celebrate wins and focus on ourselves,” she says.

After relocating multiple times, St. Germaine says she’s cracked the code to making friends: It’s all about “effort and intentionality.” She adds: “It's about stepping outside of your comfort zone and creating opportunities for connections.”

She created a community to form more meaningful connections

When Israeli-born Einat Maron moved to Palo Alto, Calif., seven years ago, she struggled to find real connections with other women. Though she joined happy hour groups and mom meetups, things rarely moved past surface-level chitchat.

“At one point, I was part of a group of moms whose kids were in the same class. We met regularly, and while we spent hours talking about school, schedules and the weather, I still felt like I barely knew them,” Maron says. “That’s when I started facilitating deeper conversations within those gatherings because I craved something more meaningful.”

That inspired Maron to create the Serendipity Community. Each month, a different member of the community hosts a 10-person three-hour chef’s dinner in their home, with Maron supplying all the things needed for the event. At these events, there’s no small talk: Maron encourages the women who attend the event to discuss their feelings, hopes and aspirations.

“One of my closest friends today is someone I met at one of the very first Serendipity Dinners,” she says of her friend, a retired teacher in her 50s. Under different circumstances, they may not have met at all, Maron says, due to their generational and background differences. But through this group, they built an “unexpected yet deeply valuable friendship.”

If there’s one lesson she’s learned after years of moving to different countries and constantly having to start over, it’s that “meaningful friendships don’t just happen — they require intention,” she says.

What to know about making friends in adulthood

Danielle Jackson, a friendship educator, podcast host and author, says that lack of time is one major reason why people in their 30s and 40s struggle with making friends. Between work, raising children and caring for aging parents, many people struggle to find space in their schedules for building friendships, she notes.

But that’s not the only issue, Jackson says: Unlike childhood and adolescence, there is no blueprint for making friends in adulthood. And “the things we were doing at 18 to make and keep friends probably won’t fit at 32,” says Jackson.

That’s why, she says, we need to “give ourselves permission, shame-free, to learn how to invite new connections into our lives with our present-day conditions and realities.”

Here are some tips from Jackson to help you with finding friendships in adulthood:

• Talk to more people: “Prioritize having one meaningful interaction a day,” Jackson says, whether that’s the person standing next to you in a workout class or your neighbor at the mailbox. You never know where friendship may come from. But even if the conversation is just a one-off, you’ll practice your conversational skills, so that you’re more at ease talking to new people who you may connect with down the road.

• Find super connectors: Jackson says it’s smart to leverage the people in your circle who always seem “plugged in” to the social world — like, say, the mutual friend who is always attending fun events on Instagram. Shooting them a message asking for tips on new venues to check out or groups to join can help you get a foot in the door to places where you may establish new friends.

• Become a regular: Like to work from a coffee shop? Jackson recommends sticking to the same place so you see familiar faces you’ll be more likely to feel comfortable striking up a conversation with.

• Realize other people want friends too: Reminding yourself that most people are interested in connection can give you the confidence to put yourself out there, Jackson says, and invite that mom on the soccer field for a post-game lunch.