Inside 999: 'We're getting calls about domestic abuse all day - but not just between partners'

Jon* is a Communications Supervisor in a UK police control centre

“Every Boxing Day we see a spike in domestic incidents. But these last few weeks have been like one long Boxing Day, as incidents have trebled and people who have spent a long time cooped-up together cannot get away.

What’s new is that it isn’t just partners assaulting one another, but brothers and sisters, grandparents and grandchildren. So it didn’t surprise me when, last weekend, I saw a Tweet from the barrister and TV personality Robert ‘Judge’ Rinder.

“PLEASE READ THIS,” he wrote. “Abuse & violence in families is increasing. This is where / how to to get vital assistance. Do NOT be silent if it’s happening. There are people who can help.” He went on to detail the ‘silent solution’ where a threatened person can ring 999, cough when prompted, then dial 55 to get immediate assistance.

In police circles, any situation involving family - partners, children, aunts, uncles, step-parents - is known as a ‘domestic’. These are then broken down into two separated code. ’Domestic incidents’ include situations where one partner has changed the locks, for example. ‘Domestic crimes’ are more serious issues such as assault, rape and theft.

Both have risen massively in the last few weeks. But, particularly noticeable, are the ‘non partner’ ones.

This week, a girl rang 999. Her brother had changed the WiFi password so she couldn’t get access, and she had thumped him. She called the police because she was so afraid of him retaliating. On another occasion, a neighbour called us because she had heard siblings screaming threats at one another.

Not all calls involve violence. We’ve had several scenarios where three generations of a family are living together. The teenage son insists on having friends over, even though the ‘at risk’ grandmother is in the house. This counts as abuse.

What normally happens is that we assess the urgency of the calls. If they are happening ‘now’, we will attend the scene. If they are historic, and the victim is safe and well, we arrange an appointment. These days, both are challenging if people are self-isolating, or showing symptoms.

Pre-Covid, a 24-hour period fell into regular patterns.. The morning calls were mainly from commuters reporting burglaries and car accidents. Later in the day, we saw civil disputes such as arguments in shops and banks, and antisocial behaviour. Within these were the stupid and time-wasting ones, such as the man who started a fight with the shopkeeper because his crisps were stale and he wanted his money back.

As the evening progressed, there were domestic incidents and those linked to drink. In the small hours, we often received calls from people who were suicidal or going through other mental health crises.

But Covid times are not normal times. For starters, calls about ‘domestics’ are coming all day, not just at night, as they used to. We’ve had fewer reports of burglaries and casual thefts of mobile phones. (I’m not sure if this is because there are fewer perpetrators about, or that people are nervous about reporting if they are, against the rules, away from home).

My main observation is that people who are normally capable have turned into children who can’t make decisions or follow basic instructions. I’ve even had a company director ringing 999 to ask if it’s OK to go outside and wash his car.

Many calls are serious, of course. Particularly upsetting to me are those where separated couples are using Covid as an excuse to get back at their ex. I’ve had a few scenarios where one parent will welcome a child as part of the ‘rota’, and the refuse to take them back to the other - despite Government rules allowing this.

We’ve also had lots of calls where people ‘inform’ on their neighbours - for example, when they can hear construction work going on and don’t think the builders are socially isolating. On Easter weekend, members of the public were reporting others sitting together in groups. These may not be priority calls, but each is dealt with appropriately. My feeling is that the majority are not vindictive, but people trying to do the right thing, and annoyed that others are not.

Then we have the silly ones. One woman’s washing machine had broken, and the plumber wouldn’t come out. So she called 999 to ask the police to order the plumber over. If he still wouldn’t comply, could we come out and fix it ourselves? Then there was the man who was showing mild symptoms but had barricaded his front gate. He wondered whether the police could ring Amazon and ask them not to deliver until he was better. People seem to have lost the ability to separate the petty from the urgent.

I do sympathise. I completely understand this is an unprecedented situation, and that people are scared, worried and confused. But it’s a new a scenario for the call-takers as much as it is for the callers, and we don’t always have definitive answers. We are trying to use our experience and knowledge to help.

At times the stress gets to me. For starters, this isn’t the kind of job you can do from home, and we have to stick to social distancing in the office. About a quarter of my team are new recruits of just three months’ experience - I’m getting around 50 queries a day from them. And there are no easy answers to some of the problems. I do my best to find out, but as the senior member of staff, I have no-one to ask. The buck stops with me.

The police have had a bad rap so far, mainly complains about us heavy-handedly splitting up social gatherings. To anyone with a gripe, I would say: don’t think so much about what you are being told, but why. We are not there to be party poopers. We are in the same boat, doing our job with a reduced staff, and with our own worries about our families. I am very proud of the job we are doing.”

*Names have been changed

As told to Miranda Levy

Read more: I escaped my abusive husband in lockdown - I knew he'd kill me

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