IMO: Challenging hurtful narratives about childless and step-parent families

Living as a couple who has been unable to have children has shaped mine and my wife’s lives in profound and often unexpected ways.

Our journey has been marked by both hope and heartache, but through it all, our bond has only grown stronger as we supported each other through the emotional ups and downs of infertility.

While we recognize that parenthood is a deeply fulfilling path for many, we have found joy and purpose in other aspects of our lives, such as our community involvement and personal passions. Our story is one of resilience and love, not defined by our ability to have children but by our capacity to live fully and meaningfully together while giving a part of ourselves to those around us.

In light of the recent public outcry over J.D. Vance’s remarks about childless individuals, I feel compelled to share a perspective. Vance’s stance, which seemingly equates the worth and contribution of individuals to their ability to have children, is not only hurtful but also reductive.

It fails to acknowledge the diverse ways in which people contribute to society. We have dedicated ourselves to making a difference through our work, volunteering, and supporting our family, friends, and community.

Our lives are rich with experiences and connections that have nothing to do with parenthood, and we believe that the value of a person should never be measured by their parental status.

While our lives may be different, our commitment to making our community and country better is unwavering. Anyone who knows me understands my dedication to working for and with veterans and other people society often overlooks despite claiming to value them.

Moreover, the assumption that everyone can or should have children overlooks the complex realities of infertility, personal choice, and diverse life circumstances. It is crucial to foster a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of what it means to lead a fulfilling and impactful life.

By broadening our societal narratives, we can honor the myriad ways people contribute to their communities and the world. Parenthood is one beautiful path among many, and all deserve respect and recognition for their unique journeys and contributions.

Let me be direct: my wife is the most extraordinary person I know. Her compassion, love, talents, and selflessness outshine many who have become mothers. J.D. Vance’s remarks about folks like my wife are nothing more than rubbish!

Furthermore, some individuals, like Will Chamberlain, who worked on Ron DeSantis’ campaign, have gone so far as to devalue the step-parent relationship, such as Vice President Kamala Harris’s role due to her lack of biological children.

I am a product of a family unit that was incredibly fortunate to have the love and role model of a stepfather, James Thomas. Don’t tell me he was anything less to me, nor to anyone else who has this kind of relationship.