Parents who've changed their baby's name say 'fear of embarrassment' almost stopped them: Here's how they went through with it
Many parents have conversations about baby names several months before their newborn arrives. Usually a few names stick and when the baby is born, the proud parents choose a name for their little bundle of joy, making it official with lots of hospital-issued paperwork. However, for some parents, the name they chose for their precious newborn no longer fits the bill after a few weeks at home and they decide to change it.
But how hard is it to change a baby's name once parents have signed on the dotted line?
Reality television star Kylie Jenner and rapper Travis Scott first shared news of their second child, Wolf's, birth on Instagram in February. But on March 21, Jenner took to her Instagram story to share that the baby's name just wasn't working.
"FYI our sons name isn't Wolf anymore," Jenner shared. "We just really didn't feel like it was him. Just wanted to share because I keep seeing Wolf everywhere."
While Jenner has yet to announce the new name she and Scott have chosen for their son, many fans have taken their opinions to social media.
One Twitter user said, "Kylie Jenner changes a baby's name as easy as changing usernames," while another commented, "Kylie Jenner really said just kidding that's not my baby's name anymore."
But Laura Wattenberg, founder of Namerology.com and author of The Baby Name Wizard says Jenner isn't alone in her "baby name remorse." In fact, Wattenberg says the phenomenon has only increased in recent years.
"Parents today feel pressure to choose distinctive names that make a style statement and help their children stand out," Wattenberg tells Yahoo Life. "The menu of options is endless, so it's easy to have lingering doubts about whether you really got it right and found the best possible option. In comparison, when babies were named after Grandma and Grandpa there was no question about getting that 'right.'"
Andrea Ribakove, mom of a now 28-year-old son, had a similar experience, wanting a name change for her baby the very next day after she chose a name she thought was right.
"I always knew I wanted my son's name to be AJ [short for Adam Jordan]," Ribakove shares. "However, on the way to the hospital at the last second, I felt like Adam Matthew was a stronger name so that's what we went with when he was born. The next morning, I realized I definitely liked AJ better for him still but the birth certificate had already been signed by then."
"We had his name legally changed shortly after," she says. "Moral of the story: Don't allow a pregnant hormonal woman to change her mind on the way to the hospital."
How common is changing a baby's name?
"There are no statistics on how many American parents change their children's names, but it's safe to say it's only a small fraction of the number who consider it," says Wattenberg. "The headaches of a legal name change surely dissuade some parents from making the change."
kylie jenner changes a baby’s name as easy as changing usernames
— tarisha (@eccentricverde) March 22, 2022
Nanette Turner Kalcik, a mom of twin girls and partner at the Lewis Brisbois law firm, says fear of making the wrong choice led to her daughters going unnamed for a bit, despite warnings from the hospital.
"When my husband and I found out we were having twins, we quickly learned that naming two babies was exponentially harder than naming our singleton," Turner Kalcik says. "Delivery day came and went and we still didn't have names. For record keeping purposes, the hospital staff dubbed our little cuties 'Baby A' and 'Baby B,' but the hospital representatives repeatedly called our room telling us we could not take the babies home unnamed.
They were wrong.
"Three days later, 'Baby A' and 'Baby B' came home with us," she says. "Of course, we did end up giving them real names — admittedly after announcing and using different names for about 24 hours — Eloise Pearl and Evelyn Claire."
Is changing a baby's name easy?
When it comes to the ease of changing a baby's name, it all depends on how long it's been and where you're located. "The process to change a baby's legal name varies from state to state and even from county to county," says Wattenberg. "Some states offer a kind of infancy grace period, streamlining the process during the early months of a child's life to allow for fixing mistakes or having second thoughts. But in some locales the legal paperwork can be more extensive and costly."
Kylie Jenner really said, just kidding that’s not my baby’s name anymore LMAOOO
— rochelle (@Diaz_Rochelle) March 21, 2022
In the United Kingdom, the process is a little different according to SJ Strum, founder of baby name consulting service Baby Name Envy. "Once registered each country has its own laws, but while the child is still under 16 in the U.K. you can change by deed poll (a legal document required for a name change in the U.K.) for as little as £44.00 (about $60)," says Strum.
When is the best time to change a baby's name?
Long story short, the sooner the better. Acting quickly will not only ease complications, but can potentially save parents time and money.
"If you've decided to change your baby's name within a few weeks of giving birth, you can go directly to the hospital and ask if they've submitted the birth certificates to the county," says Taylor Humphrey, a professional baby name consultant and birth doula. "If they have not yet done so, at the hospital's discretion, you can change the name on your baby's birth certificate."
If the change isn't made before the official paperwork has been signed and sent off, more steps are required. "If the birth certificate has already been submitted, then you will have to take more formal steps to changing the birth certificate and social security information," Humphrey shares. "Depending upon your state, this will incur a fee and potentially a court appearance to state your case."
What else goes into a baby name change?
Aside from paperwork and costs, parents might also choose to refrain from changing their names because of social stigma. "I think a bigger factor I've seen is simply fear of embarrassment," says Wattenberg. "After making a big name announcement to everyone we've ever met, we feel foolish going back and doing it all over again. There's a bit of a social stigma of looking indecisive about such a personal yet consequential choice."
How can parents be certain they're choosing the right baby name?
"Unless you felt coerced or pushed into making a quick name decision — which sadly, does happen — you used your best judgment in the moment to make that decision," says Humphrey. "Trust that everything is unfolding as it's meant to: There are no mistakes in baby naming, whether you keep the name or change it, you are making the right decision."
Still, Wattenberg says for parents who feel they chose the wrong name, accepting a bit of teasing from friends and family is "a short-term price to pay for the lifelong benefit of a name they love."
"The one person who definitely won't care is the newborn baby," she adds. "We call infants so many different names already — sweetie, honey, snickerdoodle — that throwing one more into the mix won't faze them."
"Sometimes people instantly feel they know the name, and occasionally it takes a second go," says Strum. "Let's normalize giving new parents the grace to change their minds as they navigate the first few weeks."
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