Here's Exactly How Not to Kiss, According to 'The Bachelor'
The Bachelor is back, folks! On Monday night's premiere, former pro football player Colton Underwood met 30 women vying to become his wife-or, at least, the person he dates for a few months before they go their separate ways and wish each other "nothing but the best" on Instagram.
Now, unless you've never set foot in Bachelor Nation-in which case, what are you waiting for, dude?-you probably know that Colton is a virgin. I mean, ABC won't shut up about it. But while everyone waits on tenterhooks to find out if Colton does sex in the Fantasy Suite, we're here to talk about the action on night one.
We may not know what it's like to meet 30 potential life partners in one night, but here at Men's Health, we do know a thing or two about kissing. So for your convenience, here's a list of every kiss that happened on the 17-hour-long premiere of The Bachelor. (Hint: We do NOT recommend courting potential suitors while dressed as a nightmare-inducing sloth.)
Here's every kiss that happened on the premiere of The Bachelor. We'll update this list as the episode goes on:
The First Kiss: Caelynn, a.k.a. Miss North Carolina
Props to Colton and Caelynn for executing the romantic face grab with aplomb. We'll overlook the fact that her sash technically should have said "MRS. Underwood," not "MISS Underwood."
Kiss #2: Katie
This was a very nice kiss! Katie, a 26-year-old medical sales rep, has "a really good feeling about this whole thing," which seems like a bold thing to say to a reality star with 29 other girlfriends.
Kiss #3: Hannah G.
Meet this season's recipient of the coveted First Impression Rose! Hannah G. is a 23-year-old content creator from Birmingham, Alabama, and she's prooobably going to stick around for a while.
Unfortunately, viewers weren't so thrilled with the couple's kiss. Note to men: Try not to mimic a lizard during your next make-out sesh.
"Oh I did not like that kiss between Hannah and Colton," former Bachelor contestant Ashley Spivey tweeted, adding, "It was very pecky."
The Honorable Mention: Cassie
This sort of counts, right?
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