Help! My Boyfriend Thinks I’m Enabling My Overprotective Parents By Not Moving In With Him
Today's episode of BuzzFeed Daily features another edition of DM-911 with our own Stephen LaConte, plus our thoughts on the top pop culture headlines. You can listen below or scroll down to read a bit from the podcast!
So let's dive right into it! Today Stephen gave advice about the pros and cons of eloping, what to do when your parents disapprove of your significant other, and how to deal with family members who make light of mental health issues.
"Hi Stephen. I’m 23 and live with my overprotective, conservative parents. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. My parents do not approve of him because he comes from a lower socioeconomic status and didn’t go to a 'good' college. We recently signed a lease together, but my parents reacted badly when I told them and are not letting me move in with him, threatening to disown me if I do. My boyfriend and I fight often because of this. He’s upset I didn’t honor my commitment to move in and thinks I’m enabling my parents to control my life by staying in their house. I do feel like my parents are micromanaging me and I need independence, but I’m worried their concerns about my boyfriend might be right. Do I break up with my boyfriend? Do I move in with him since I have to pay my half of the lease this year anyway?"
Universal / Via tenor.com
BuzzFeed Daily: You know, I was really right there with you until the end of your message, where I started to go like, "Hey, what's happening? What's happening here?"
So let me just break this down. Your parents think your boyfriend is not worthy of you because he comes from a lower socioeconomic status and didn't go to a quote unquote, good college. And now you say you're starting to wonder if they're right. I don't know if this person is the right partner for you, but I do know that this is not how you should be evaluating a partner in the first place.
You also write that your boyfriend thinks that you're enabling your parents to control your life by staying under their roof. But I have to tell you, that doesn't sound like your boyfriend's opinion of what's happening. It sounds like objective fact. I mean, you literally signed a lease on a place and are only going back on it because your parents told you to. So they are in control and you are enabling it.
The question of whether or not you should move in with this guy ultimately just boils down to whether you love this person and want to be with him. If you do, I would not let his socioeconomic status or his educational resume get in the way of that.
But I have to be honest with you, based on the way you've described the whole situation, it doesn't really sound like you are invested in this. And I can appreciate that it's very hard to move forward in a relationship that your parents would disown you over, especially at 23 years old. Losing your family is a very hard thing to do, even when it's because your family is, frankly, a bunch of assholes. I don't think it makes a lot of sense for you to go down that road when you're just maybe not that into your boyfriend in the first place.
You've asked me whether you should break up with this guy or move in with him. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, break up with him. It sounds like your doubts outweigh your desires by a lot. And you and your boyfriend both deserve relationships where desire is the predominant force.
Kristen Stewart is already receiving tons of praise for her portrayal of Princess Diana in Spencer, but it sounds like it wasn’t an easy role to take on.
She told the LA Times: "It's scary to tell a story about someone who's not alive anymore and who already felt so invaded. I never wanted to feel like we were invading anything, just that we were kind of adding to the multiplicity of a beautiful thing."
Kristen also revealed that there were times when she felt she got a sort of “sign-off” from Diana, saying, "I felt some spooky, spiritual feelings making this movie. Even if I was just fantasizing."
