Exclusive: Hilary Duff Passed Down One Childhood Christmas Tradition to Her Own Kids & You’ll Want to Steal it Too
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Hilary Duff is the holiday spirit this year.
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Even over Zoom, Duff radiates kindness and excitement and an uninhibited love of Christmas. The mom of three is wearing a festive, champagne-colored sweater with wispy feathers over the sleeves, which is giving 12 Days of Christmas vibes (you know — all the birds!), and she’s positively beaming after she helped spread some cheer by distributing $500 Target gift cards to shoppers at a Los Angeles-area store. Like all moms, Target is her “happy place,” and it’s even part of her family’s holiday traditions. The actress, singer, author, and entrepreneur talked about all things Christmas, the best parts of being a mom, and her true feelings about doing Elf on the Shelf in a new interview with SheKnows.
A self-proclaimed holiday lover, the How I Met Your Father star is big on keeping up with traditions and making memories with her kids Luca, 11, with ex Mike Comrie, and Banks, 5, and Mae, 2, with husband Matthew Koma. In fact, she even passed down one relaxing holiday tradition from her childhood with parents Robert and Susan Duff, and sister Haylie Duff (who you may recognize from her many Hallmark holiday movies, or her role as it-girl Summer Wheatley in Napoleon Dynamite).
“So the day of Christmas, after the mayhem and the early morning and the crazy unwrapping and building and whatever is going on — it’s just like an anthill has been stirred up and you’re like, ‘How am I gonna survive this day?’ — we usually all go on a walk as a family,” Duff tells SheKnows. This is a surprisingly chill tradition, and one that my family always does too! There’s nothing like getting some fresh air after a hectic Christmas morning.
During the walk, her kids “look for reindeer prints or any signs of the sleigh,” and they talk or play with neighbors who are also out. “And it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it’s a really nice reset to be on a walk all together,” she says. “Get your shoes on and get outside … it gets everybody out of the house and out of the like, crazy zone of gifts, gifts, toys.”
It’s also a reset for her, and a distraction from wanting to “clean like crazy and get everything in its place” after the presents have been opened, which is such a mom move. It can be hard to turn those instincts off and slow down on a holiday!
Another mom move? Wanting everything to be perfect — the perfect gingerbread house, perfect decorations, perfect Santa photos, perfect dinner. All that perfectionism causes a lot of unnecessary stress, which Duff knows about firsthand.
“Honestly, I fall into the same traps. Probably cooking too much and putting too much pressure on trying to make it perfect for everyone,” she says, adding that having her third child helped her loosen up a bit. “I started to really accept the fact that I can’t be responsible for everyone’s happiness. Not everyone’s going to be having the greatest day or having the greatest moment, and all that we provide or plan isn’t always going to go off without a hitch. And you just can’t blame yourself for it. And you’ve got to give yourself a break.”
And if that doesn’t work? “Alcohol!” she suggests with a laugh. ‘Tis the season to be merry, after all!
.@HilaryDuff's daughters look like cottagecore princesses in this new, adorable photo! https://t.co/9rbsMyGL0V
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) July 16, 2023
In all seriousness, all our kids really want is to spend time with us. “Honestly, getting down on the floor and playing with your kids is what they want the most,” the My Little Sweet Boy author continues. “So if you’re middle of cooking something, guess what, they’re probably not even going to eat it. You know? We’re gonna be making a box of macaroni and cheese later.” She adds, “So cut yourself some slack and try to enjoy because it’s not just all about them. They want you to be happy too.” Although Duff is the first to admit, “That’s easier said than done.”
Instead of “overcomplicating things” this season, Duff urges moms to just keep it simple — a lesson she learned when she tried to switch up where her family goes to buy their Christmas tree. “Something we always do is go pick out our Christmas tree and play tag while my husband buys the tree and gets it on the on the car,” Duff says, “And it’s like my son’s favorite, favorite thing. And this year, I was like, ‘I kind of want to go buy our tree from somewhere else because they do snow flogging [a technique that involves covering a surface with a synthetic powder to make it look like it’s covered in snow]. And [the kids are] like, ‘Absolutely not. We’re going to the same tree farm where we play tag. There’s never anyone there so we can do what we want.’ They love it. It’s the simple memories.”
That is so true. And one simple memory that the Lizzie McGuire alum and her family make every weekend? Making a Target run, of course.
“I’m at Target today, and this is a huge place that we love to come all together,” Duff explains. “Everyone gets super amped up. It’s always a funny experience. We always spend way too much money.” It’s impossible not to! At the event on Nov. 16, Duff brought out orders to drive-up customers and gave them (and some in-store shoppers) $500 Target gift cards to help ease financial strain this time of year. If you missed out, don’t worry. Target is giving out $500 in Target Circle earnings to spend like cash at Target stores and Target.com to 500 lucky Target Circle members. Just enroll in the free-to-join loyalty program at any Target store or by going to Target.com/Circle by Dec. 8 to be automatically entered for a chance to win. And if you’re already part of Target Circle, you’re already entered! (See the Official Rules HERE.)
Duff wanted to partner with Target because she’s “such a big fan.”
“I love the holidays so much. And getting to bring a little bit of magic or ease to someone’s holiday is really special,” she gushes. “I like seeing people smile.”
She even knocks out a lot of her shopping list at Target. “Truthfully, we always come to Target to shop. There’s just everything here it’s so easy to get something for everyone in the family.”
There are “a lot of toys” on her kids’ list this year. “My [daughters] love to play grocery shopping, and they love to put their baby dolls in the little carts. Target has like a little mini cash register that’s cute.”
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She said that L.O.L. Surprise Dolls are also big in her house, as are preschool activities to help Banks get ready for kindergarten next year. And her pre-teen is into LEGOs. “Luca is still into Legos, which I love because it gets him off of screen time a little bit,” she says. “He also loves FIFA and games for his PS5. He’s really into sports jerseys, so we’re scouring eBay because he’s he likes these like specific ones.”
As for everyone else? Target has so many options for teachers, family, and friends. “I love to gift socks during the holiday season because I think everybody appreciates cozy socks or slippers,” Duff says. “I love Target’s holiday candles and their home decor department. I always get derailed all day! And I do so much for the family, I always want something small and sparkly. I haven’t figured out what that is yet, but my husband will be alerted soon.” Same, girl!
Other traditions Duff participates in with her family include listening to holiday music (except not her classic Santa Claus Lane album because “it’s really hard for me to listen to it because I was 13 years old,” which, fair!), decorating gingerbread houses, and trying out different “themed” décor every year. But there are some traditions she’s not as huge a fan of, like visits from her kids’ Scout elves.
Join actress, @HilaryDuff, in celebrating the beautiful chaos of motherhood and cherishing those precious moments that make it all worthwhile. https://t.co/vI7L3S0i36
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) June 16, 2023
“We sure do [have an Elf on the Shelf],” she says. “I just posted something the other day that was like Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck and they’re sitting at a sports game. And he leans over and he’s like, ‘It’s your turn to do Elf on the Shelf.’ And then she’s like [makes a face] It’s so funny!”
This is so relatable. It’s only December 4, and I’ve already had to jump out of bed in a near-panic because I forgot to move the elf. Apparently, Duff’s been there too.
“Sometimes it’s like in the morning, keep the kids upstairs to move the freaking elves,” she says with a laugh. Their family has three: Jimmy, Jane, and Jemma. “It’s an event of moving three elves, but it’s so fun,” she says. “And you know, when all this stuff that seems really hard or exhausting, it’s gonna be over within the blink of an eye.”
Motherhood may be hard, but it’s also a delight. Duff’s favorite part about mom life? All the laughter that comes with it.
“My kids make me laugh all day long. They’re so funny,” she tells me. “The way their minds work, and just getting to have a front row seat to that makes my day, every day.”
She went on, “The hard days, the stressful days, the days where I’m like, I don’t know how we’re gonna get all the things done or how we’re gonna get to all the places we need to go, you know? Or the car rides that are miserable, because someone’s hungry or has to pee,” she says with a laugh. “Like, whatever it is, at the end of the day when we’re all under one roof, and our house just feels like it’s expanded with everybody’s energy — I love that.”
Looking for some adorable stocking stuffers for your kiddos that won’t break the bank? Check out these options.
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