Dr. Ronsisvalle: Ready to break free of technology's grip? Here's how you can do it.
Confession time: I love watching videos on the Internet.
It all started as a guilty pleasure back in the early YouTube days. Maybe it was all those long hours I spent in graduate school combing through journals in the library; tapping into a world of endless information with just a quick Google search felt like hitting the jackpot for a lifelong learner like me.
But let's face it, the Internet isn't always our ally. This hit me hard not long ago during a mindless scroll through Facebook reels.
Now, I'd love to tell you I spend hours seeking out profound, mind-expanding content that enriches both my professional and personal life.
But the truth? It all began with a video on healthy desserts.
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Picture this: in a mere 90 seconds, I learned how to transform frozen tangerines into a beautiful, guilt-free sherbet.
Then, it was onto the next: Greek yogurt and peanut butter, covered in chocolate — the most addictive high-protein dessert ever.
With each click, I convinced myself I was on a mission for healthier treats.
But here's where it gets real: I lost track of time, and my wife walked in to find me buried in dessert videos, frantically forwarding them to her.
What felt like about eight minutes to me turned out to be a solid 30 minutes lost in the Facebook black hole.
And for what? It wasn’t to make a significant change in my eating habits. I fell prey to the whims of the algorithm gods, with their magical artificial intelligence, and they completely hijacked my focus.
Let's face it, I'm not alone in this struggle, right?
Did you see the latest cat video?
What about the dog who put himself in time-out?
With the rise of smartphones, technology and social media have become ever more entwined in our lives.
What used to be a simple search on the web has morphed into a landscape where algorithms dictate what we see, shaping our digital experience down to the last click.
Our browsing history, content popularity and perceived interests all feed into this digital puppetry, leaving us feeling like we are passengers in our own online journey.
We're not steering the ship anymore; it's the tech giants calling the shots, driven by one thing: engagement.
The more we're hooked, the more cash flows into their pockets.
It's a cycle that's rewiring our brains, conditioning us to merely respond to the recommendations of the very devices that were meant to empower us.
We've become addicted to the constant stimulation, and we struggle to be intentional and proactive about the decisions we make with technology.
I used to talk about this primarily in the context of children and their online habits, urging parents to moderate the online behavior of their kids.
But now, as I see clients in my clinical practice, it's clear this isn't just a youth issue — it's a global epidemic.
Social media and tech addiction are tearing at the fabric of our society, robbing us of joy, peace and meaning in life.
It's time we all took a hard look at our relationship with technology before it's too late.
The impact of our technology addiction
Clients often tell me that while they recognize technology's negative cultural impact, they don't think it affects them personally.
But unfortunately, the data tells a different story.
Without a doubt, our addiction to technology is indeed taking a toll on us individually.
Here are a few of the problems it creates:
1. We are disconnected from mindfulness.
When was the last time you simply waited for someone at a restaurant?
I'm not talking about idly scrolling through Instagram while waiting for your dinner companions.
I mean truly being present, waiting, without occupying your mind. My hunch is it's been a while.
The constant barrage of technology has stripped us of the natural mindfulness that used to fill our everyday moments.
Growing up, I remember one day waiting for my mom to pick me up from school.
As I stood near the pickup area I felt the warm sun on my face and the hot breeze in the air as I watched rowdy kids climb into big yellow buses. I enjoyed the experience.
It was a simple, yet profound moment of mindfulness. But nowadays, we're so consumed by our devices that we don't allow ourselves to experience these moments anymore.
Just the other day, I arrived at a restaurant a little earlier than my wife.
Instead of enjoying a quiet moment, I walked all the way back to my car for my phone just so I could watch a few videos on YouTube while I sat at the table waiting.
It's alarming how technology has erased the built-in mindfulness we once took for granted.
This loss isn't without consequences. Our society is grappling with a mental health crisis, particularly anxiety and depression.
We're chronically anxious because we're deeply uncomfortable with solitude, and we're extremely depressed as we constantly compare ourselves to others online.
It's time we reevaluate our relationship with technology before it further erodes our well-being.
2. We are disconnected, socially.
Some argue the Internet has created an opportunity for connection and, in theory, they're right. We can now reach out to people across the globe with ease, shrinking the world through technology.
However, the type of relationships we forge online are distinctly different than anything we’ve experienced in human history.
In this digital realm, communication is often one-sided, lacking the accountability and authenticity of face-to-face interaction.
It's easy to craft personas and habits detached from the checks and balances of real-life encounters.
That's why many scroll through social media, impulsively firing off words and actions devoid of empathy, shielded from the repercussions of their online conduct.
Regardless of how realistic the virtual world seems, the text-based interaction pales in comparison to the richness of real-time interactions.
Consider the magnetic pull of a live concert — why shell out big bucks to be in a crowded arena when you could stream the music at home for free?
Because deep down, we understand there is something distinctly different about the value of shared experiences.
Yet, technology is eroding this beauty. As more people retreat to the isolation of social media, we're losing the magic of face-to-face connection.
3. We are disconnected from meaning and purpose.
Our phones dictate where our attention goes — toward what interests us or what the algorithms think might catch our eye.
It's a very self-serving activity when you think about it. We dive into our own little worlds. I will get on MY phone and look at MY social media; read articles that are consistent with MY interests and even obsess about how much more interesting MY friends' lives are.
But here's the thing: decades of psychological research tell us that true peace and joy lie beyond our egos. Meaning and purpose blossom when we shift our focus outward, away from ourselves.
Sadly, technology has robbed us of the ability to transcend self-centeredness, trapping us in self-centered pursuits instead of uplifting actions that impact others in meaningful ways.
Strategies to transcend technology
Tech company algorithms sure aren't doing us any favors.
At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own behavior. If I spend three days straight glued to my phone, drooling over dessert videos, well, that's on me.
But here's the silver lining: the power to break free from tech's grip is in our hands too.
If you're ready to reclaim control, here are some simple steps to get you started:
Your first mission?
Get serious about the tech you let into your life and how much of your time it eats up. Some might opt for a total social media fast, and hey, that's not a bad call. But deleting your accounts isn't the only way to regain control. It's all about setting clear boundaries.
Start with the golden rule: time limits.
Take a step back and ask yourself: how much screen time is healthy?
Then, craft your schedule around honoring that limit. Need a hand? You can enlist the help of your phone.
Both Apple and Android devices offer app timers. Once you hit your set limit, your phone will stop your scroll and alert you that it's time to log off.
You can even schedule downtime, a reminder to give yourself a much-needed break when you need it most.
Habit stacking.
This is another idea that might help you take charge of your tech time.
It's simple yet powerful. Just pinpoint a daily habit you already have, then stack your new behavior on top of it.
For instance, let’s say you sit down on the couch and get lost in social media after work.
Using the strategy of habit stacking, you could try stacking a workout onto changing out of your work clothes.
"After I change, I'll go for a walk. Every day."
The more you link these habits, the more automatic they become, and the more intentional you become about avoiding the tech trap each evening.
There are so many behavioral techniques like this to help you master your tech use.
The trick is to keep trying different strategies until you find what works best for you.
Digging deeper, the real game-changer is transforming our identity when it comes to tech and social media.
Once our new habits become ingrained in who we are, sticking to them becomes second nature. But as long as we see ourselves as slaves to mindless scrolling, the struggle persists.
It's all about rewriting the story of who we are and what truly matters in life — that's the bedrock of any meaningful change here.
Let's kick things off with a simple exercise: make a list of what matters most to you in life.
Think family, physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, helping others, integrity, pursuing meaning and purpose, and adventure.
Now, make a list of the ways in which you spend your time every day. Do your daily activities align with your core values?
Chances are, there's a gap. But fear not, you're about to bridge it.
Decide to be the kind of person who lives out their values daily.
For example, creating an identity that says, “I am an athlete” will help you hit the gym instead of being glued to the couch obsessively looking at technology.
Or telling yourself, “I’m the kind of person who cares about others and treasures relationships over endless scrolling” will be the motivation you need to follow through with the boundaries you set regarding social media and technology.
When you adopt these new identities, sticking to positive habits becomes second nature.
Feeling overwhelmed by the idea of setting boundaries and reshaping your tech habits?
You're not alone. It’s crucial not to be too hard on yourself.
Technology's grip is mighty, making it tough to break free without a helping hand.
If you're drowning in the digital deluge, it's okay to seek support.
Consider teaming up with a trusted coach or counselor for accountability, guidance and tailored strategies.
Remember, you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
Here at LiveWell Behavioral Health, we're always here to support you through these challenges.
Whether it's battling tech addiction or coping with the anxieties of the digital age, reach out to us at livewellbehavioralhealth.com — we're ready to walk this path with you.
Dr. Mike Ronsisvalle is a Licensed Psychologist and the President of LiveWell Behavioral Health, a psychological services agency that provides counseling to clients of all ages and addictions treatment to adolescents and adults. You can find him at www.LiveWellbehavioralhealth.com or call 321-259-1662.
This article originally appeared on Florida Today: How can you break free of technology's grasp? Try these helpful tips
