Dr. Ronsisvalle: Deliberately set aside time for reflection; it's healthy for your brain
Every time I board a plane, I dive into a game I call “see how close you can cut it."
The rules of the game are simple: figure out how to spend as little time as possible waiting in the terminal before hopping on the plane.
Now, this habit might drive my travel mates bonkers, but hey, I’d take their eye rolls over terminal boredom any day.
Picture us racing to the airport like speed demons, sometimes sprinting through the concourse like a pack of high school track stars, all to snag that last-minute boarding before the doors close.
Stressful? You bet. Worth it? Absolutely.
Because let’s face it, anything beats those dreaded terminal chairs and the endless wait.
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Airport boredom is a universal struggle.
Look around the next time you’re flying. Most are buried in their phones or tablets, seeking that dopamine fix before takeoff.
Some head to the bar for a pre-flight drink, while others grab coffee or snacks — all in a quest for a brain boost.
It’s like the airport is a giant lab experiment in the human reaction to being alone with our own thoughts.
We avoid it at all costs. And it’s not just airports; most people can’t stand dull moments anywhere.
Is thinking passé?
Dr. Timothy Wilson, a social psychologist from the University of Virginia, has been researching this phenomena for years.
His robust body of research paints a vivid picture of how we avoid being alone with our thoughts with nothing to do.
In one study, a whopping 95% of American adults admitted to engaging in some form of leisure activity in the past day — TV, socializing or reading for pleasure.
Yet, here’s the kicker: 83% of those said they spent zero time simply relaxing or pondering.
Chew on that stat for a second: the majority of us don’t even hit pause long enough to give our brains a breather.
But let’s not overlook that 95% did engage in a leisure activity.
So, the “I’m too busy to relax and think” excuse? It just doesn’t hold water for most folks.
We’ve got the time; we’re just experts at dodging moments of quiet reflection.
Often, we avoid situations that encourage self-reflection to our own detriment.
Consider the stress we could sidestep by simply allowing ourselves time at the airport gate, uninterrupted bythe rush of traffic or security lines.
Yet, we often opt for the chaos, dismissing the value of these moments.
I chose the pain of all that stress so that I won’t have to waste time at the gate.
This isn’t a solitary struggle. Many of us gravitate toward activities that harm us to avoid solitary introspection.
Dr. Wilson’s studies shed light on this inclination.
An electrifying study
In one intriguing experiment, participants were placed in small rooms with blank walls, devoid of distractions. No phones, no books — just their thoughts.
Asked to engage with their own minds for a mere 15 minutes, the majority expressed discomfort, preferring mundane tasks.
The participants were then placed in another room for 15 minutes with no external stimuli, but this time Dr. Wilson’s team placed a button in the room that would administer an electric shock to the participant every time it was pushed.
Astonishingly, 67% of men and 25% of women chose to voluntarily inflict pain on themselves rather than confront their own thoughts.
It’s a startling study, one that mirrors the stark reality of our cultural landscape.
We knowingly indulge in habits detrimental to our well-being just to evade introspection, even if it’s just for a moment.
Picture the scene at the airport terminal — it’s a microcosm of our daily lives.
While we might not be pressing buttons for electric shocks, we are incessantly scrolling through social media,numbing our minds to avoid moments of reflection.
The average American checks their phone every 3-4 minutes. I confess, I’m guilty of it too, filling spare moments with mindless activity.
We are aware it’s not healthy, yet we keep hitting that metaphorical shock button to avoid being alone with our thoughts.
Are we all addicts?
But there is a darker side to this avoidance: addiction.
Whether it’s alcohol, drugs or even food, many find solace in destructive behaviors simply to escape self reflection.
I’ve encountered countless individuals at our LiveWell clinics ensnared in the grips of addiction, driven by an inability to face the mundane moments of life.
It’s a poignant reflection of our cultural state — a collective tendency to sabotage our own health and well-being in our quest to avoid our inner thoughts.
Now, a couple of pertinent questions naturally arise:
“Does it truly matter if we avoid looking inside and reflecting on our own thoughts?”
"Is it significant that most of us find self-reflection dull?”
The answer is unequivocal: it absolutely does matter, and here’s why.
The capacity for directed conscious thought is a defining characteristic of what it means to be human.
Unlike any other creatures, we possess the unique ability to detach from everything around us and focus in on our innermost thoughts — our dreams, hopes, joys and fears.
Through introspection, we glean lessons from our past, envision futures and explore new realms of creativity.
This inward focus, known as default-mode processing, is where problem-solving thrives.
Ironically, it’s also the very mechanism fueling the technological advancements that often drive our disconnection from the self.
As you can imagine, the impact of our unwillingness to engage in the default mode of self reflection is not only leading to personal self sabotage, it is probably contributing to the unraveling of our societal fabric.
Consider this: What if Sir Isaac Newton hadn’t allowed himself the luxury of boredom, staring out a window to see the apple fall from the tree?
It was precisely his willingness to engage in introspection that granted him the solitary contemplation necessary to formulate the laws of physics.
Think about all the empathy we have forfeited by failing to pause long enough to consider howmour behavior is impacting others.
Think about how many countless hours young minds spend immersed in social media or video games, forsaking the boredom that often sparks innovation.
It’s imperative that we recognize the profound value of hitting pause, affording ourselves the opportunity to think deeply and consider our place in society’s tapestry.
The irony couldn’t be clearer: our innate creativity, fueled by default mode thinking, has shaped a culture offering constant stimulation.
Yet, amidst this 24/7 access, we find ourselves in a cultural crossroads where we must consciously relearn the value of self-reflection.
Let your brain turn into putty
It’s time to collectively recalibrate, embracing moments that may seem mundane to nurture empathy, creativity and hope for the future.
So, how do we start honing our ability to be introspective and tap into the default mode?
It’s actually quite simple: we make time to embrace boredom. The key is intentionality.
Take a look at your schedule and carve out 10-15 minutes where you can deliberately hit pause on thehustle and bustle of your day.
For most, this works best either at the beginning or end of the day.
Find a quiet, un-stimulating space — maybe dimly lit and unusually cozy.
Your goal during this “thinking period” is to let your mind wander, disconnecting mentally from your surroundings.
Be mindful not to get caught up ruminating on anxious thoughts about the future — a common pitfall of default mode thinking.
Instead, allow yourself to daydream and vision cast.
Visualize, without judgment, yourself and others.
You might find it helpful to initially put some boundaries around your self-reflection by journaling, focusing on specific areas of your life.
For example, categorize your thoughts into new ideas, future aspirations and actionable steps.
If you’re interested in a structured approach, our LiveWell app offers a journal feature to capture your insights.
You can find the app for iPhone or Android on your App Store.
I invite you to join me in deliberately setting aside time for reflection.
Embrace boredom, delve into self-discovery and rediscover your most creative and hopeful self.
All the best on your journey!
Dr. Mike Ronsisvalle is a Licensed Psychologist and the President of LiveWell Behavioral Health, a psychological services agency that provides counseling to clients of all ages and addictions treatment to adolescents and adults. You can find him at www.LiveWellbehavioralhealth.com or call 321-259-1662.
This article originally appeared on Florida Today: The value of boredom: People replace thinking with devices, distractions
