Don Kleinsmith: Some helpful ideas when talking with others

I’m grateful for a few ideas in this week’s column given to me from others. Here they are.

An apology after an argument should be 'two-way'

Oral arguments sometimes end with an apology and often when one person expresses regret to the other person.

A good friend a while ago enlightened my thinking when I learned that a complete, satisfied apology should be a “two-way street.”

Let me explain. Let’s say one person in an oral, heated exchange of disagreement kindly apologizes a day or so later. The other person in the argument listens to the apology, but says nothing. Is that the end?

I don’t believe it should be. My friend wisely pointed out that the person who did not apologize — even for a minor regret for what he or she said — may possibly be a little too pride-filled, causing the other person to wonder.

You might be a little confused after you apologize if the other person simply remains quiet or only acknowledges your apology. And, you may be left with the impression that you are the only one at fault. If you are the person to whom the person apologized, shouldn’t you also express some regret?

I believe the settlement to an argument is best when both parties express regret, even if it might be more by one than the other.

Thank you, my friend, for this insight.

Expressing 'I think' is best in a discussion

A good friend had offered this idea, which I am pleased to express.

“It’s the best food market in town,” someone might say. This is expressed as a fact, but is it true?

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I believe an opinion should be identified. For example, it could be prefaced with ”I think," "I feel" or "I believe.” Even with research, the statement as one’s opinion is open for discussion. If expressions are based upon fact (e.g. Christmas Day each year is Dec. 25), there is no questioning the fact.

I believe we introduce more meaningful discussion from our listener or reader if we preface our viewpoint as an opinion.

— Don Kleinsmith is professor emeritus from Adrian College where he has taught for 45 years. He can be reached at 517-263-6357 or [email protected].

This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegram: Don Kleinsmith: Some helpful ideas when talking with others