Do therapists make New Year's resolutions? Here's what they told us.

New Year’s resolutions: Odds are you’ve made one at some point in your life. And if you’re like most Americans, that resolution didn’t stick. Still, we often go on making resolutions year after year.

A 2023 survey by Forbes Health found that the most common New Year’s resolutions for Americans include improving their fitness, getting their finances in order, taking care of their mental health, losing weight and improving their diet. But the survey also confirmed that the average resolution lasts less than four months — which may be surprisingly long to anyone who has heard of Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day, aka Jan. 17, which is the day pop culture acknowledges as the end date for many a resolution.

With all that in mind, we were curious what those who we trust to be wiser than us — aka therapists — think of New Year’s resolutions. Therapists are the people we often turn to to help better our lives, so what’s their thought on this annual tradition of betterment? Here’s what a few of them told us.

‘I do not make New Year’s resolutions’

Dr. Jessi Gold, a psychiatrist in Tennessee, says, “I do not make New Year’s resolutions. I feel like they often are unrealistic, large and we set ourselves up to fail. I do a lot better when I make smaller, doable goals for myself throughout the year.”

That said, Gold acknowledges that resolutions can be helpful for some people — but stresses that giving yourself a little grace is key. “If it is helpful for you to make resolutions, I have no problem with it,” she says. “I just want you to be kind to yourself about them and not beat yourself up if you don’t achieve it all immediately, or maybe pick smaller, more achievable goals (read a book chapter, not a whole book kind of thing).”

Her bottom line on resolutions? “It is not just about the goals, but the reflection,” she says. “Sometimes that is missed in ‘resolutions’ and is critically important for highlighting the good of the day, or year, and not just wanting to start right with improving or changing something. I start with that, and advise patients to as well.” Maybe look back at what you enjoyed most in 2023 — training for a fun run, FaceTiming your best friend every week — and find ways to do more of that in 2024.

‘I ensure the goals I set are specific and clearly defined’

Therapist Arron Muller says intentions are his way of setting himself up for the new year. “The beginning of a new year provides a natural marker for reflection, identifying areas for positive change,” he tells Yahoo Life. “I think overall about things I want to improve, modify or establish for the new year. I believe in self-improvement and personal growth, and this is a great motivational tool.”

Muller notes that there are a few ways he sets himself up for success. “I ensure the goals I set are specific and clearly defined with reasonable time frames. It is important to establish a timeline and track progress,” he says. He adds that he leans on “accountability partners” (who could be a professional coach or a friend working through their own goals) to help him stay on track. “We meet quarterly via Zoom to check in,” he shares.

According to Muller, "resolutions can be effective because they provide a clear goal, accountability and sense of direction.”

‘Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I do a values assessment of my life’

“I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, because I have learned in my life that they have been empty promises to myself based on fear and not on my true values,” says Luana Marques, an associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. “Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I do a values assessment of my life and decide what the top three values will be for the next year for me, and I set those as my compass for the next year.”

She notes that this values method is far more effective than a rudderless resolution. “For most people I have worked with, setting resolutions without understanding the ‘why’ behind them often is not effective,” she says. “However, resolutions that are value-aligned can move mountains.”

Marques has already established three values for 2024: impact (“sharing science-driven skills with the world”), health (“moving my body at least 30 minutes a day”) and family (enjoying “uninterrupted quality time with those that I love”).

She adds that she makes sure to check in with those values regularly. “Every Sunday I do an assessment of my calendar for the upcoming week and ask myself: Are my daily actions aligned with these values? If I identify an activity that is not value-aligned, I question why I am engaging in this activity.”

‘The idea of making New Year’s resolutions feels a bit too pressure-ridden’

“I do not make New Year’s resolutions, as I do my best to make positive changes throughout the year,” shares Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist in California. “If I find that I would like to create a new habit, I prefer to make the change right away, rather than waiting until the new year. The idea of making New Year’s resolutions feels a bit too pressure-ridden for my personality!”

Manly says that resolutions are often a setup for disappointment. “We often expect a magical result, but no new habit forms without concerted effort, patience and a hearty dose of self-compassion,” she tells Yahoo Life.

‘There’s nothing special or magical about January 1st’

California psychotherapist Meg Josephson uses this time of year to reflect. “I think of resolutions more as, ‘What does Meg want to be feeling one year from now? What does she want her life to look like?’ and focusing more on the feeling, so that I can work backwards and create tangible steps to help me get there,” she says.

While she doesn’t tie her goal setting to the start of the new year — “There’s nothing special or magical about January 1st; it’s just like any other day,” she says — Josephson does see something powerful in doing an end-of-year postmortem.

“For the past few years, something I’ve been doing and enjoying is sitting down in that weird, timeless period between Christmas and New Year’s, and reflecting on what’s happened in the past year — what’s changed, what hasn’t changed — and celebrating the wins, however big or small,” she shares.

When it comes to goals, however, there’s no need to wait. “Momentum and inspiration come in cycles, and we can tap into that inspiration at any point in the year,” she says. “Any day can be an opportunity to make new decisions.”

‘I suggest really thinking about your ‘why’ with your resolutions’

“Setting goals or intentions can absolutely be helpful for making important changes in our lives,” shares North Carolina-based therapist Erin Spahr. “Around the new year is a good time to recover from the busyness of the holiday season and to slow down and reflect on the previous year.”

Spahr emphasizes that getting to the root of the resolution is key to making it successful. “I suggest really thinking about your ‘why’ with your resolutions. How will completing this resolution help you? How do you want to feel as a result of your resolution? Also consider what barriers have gotten in the way in the past and what resources or supports you need to feel successful. Are you someone who needs to schedule things for you to accomplish them? Do you need an accountability buddy? It’s OK to experiment to figure out what works best for you,” she tells Yahoo Life.

And if you need help staying on track, she has some advice for that too: “A great therapist can be the best support to help you get there!”